this post was submitted on 30 May 2026
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TenForward: Where Every Vulcan Knows Your Name

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[–] PrimeMinisterKeyes@leminal.space 45 points 1 day ago (2 children)
[–] terranoid@lemmy.cafe 19 points 1 day ago (1 children)

The first person to discover teleportation could do this and cause riots

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

If it's me, I'm robbing the sperms bank

Everyone always goes for the money vault. I like to do things different.

I'm finding everyone I know who I don't like and taking their donation and putting it back in their fridge at home with a note that says "haha! Stole your sperms!" with hearts in the exclamation dots.

[–] FistingEnthusiast@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I love that

But I'd leave it on the bench, in the sun, so the sperm dies and I'd also crack the lid open so it's stinky

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

i mean yeah, but i don't want someone to lose their last sperms. it's just a prank

[–] FistingEnthusiast@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Oh, if I don't like someone, I'm definitely going to try to keep them from polluting the gene pool

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

see i don't really care about that, i'm not having kids so i don't really care about the gene pool. (also a lot of folk i know are great people to spite their shit parents. well also just for fun but also spite.)

[–] conartistpanda@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago

The amazing digital circus

[–] Digit@lemmy.wtf 90 points 2 days ago (3 children)

Best utter "Computer, end program." from time to time, just to be sure.

[–] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 53 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (2 children)

You're just an NPC. You don't have the permissions.

[–] homes@piefed.world 66 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] BillyClark@piefed.social 10 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] Tolookah@discuss.tchncs.de 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] BillyClark@piefed.social 2 points 1 day ago

Unlike Moriarty?

[–] BillyClark@piefed.social 12 points 1 day ago (1 children)

If you were an NPC, even if you did have the permissions, would you actually notice? You'd be ending at the same time as the program, and if and when the program started back up, you would have no reason to think that your command worked.

[–] nightofmichelinstars@sopuli.xyz 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

What if it never starts back up? The ship is abandoned. There's a last time for everything.

[–] acockworkorange@mander.xyz 15 points 1 day ago

You wouldn't be aware of your own oblivion.

[–] sirblastalot@ttrpg.network 33 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Rookie mistake.

"Computer, Anime Waifus, Hot."

[–] dangling_cat@piefed.blahaj.zone 26 points 1 day ago (2 children)

A scorching hot 2700 Celsius anime girl appeared

[–] ripcord@lemmy.world 10 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Unless something is broken, the holodeck interpreters have tons of safety mechanisms and intent interpreters. It's not a monkey's paw.

[–] rainwall@piefed.social 18 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Take a look around. That shit is off.

[–] SkyezOpen@lemmy.world 0 points 1 day ago

safety mechanisms

The sheer amount of "oh no the holodeck is broken" episodes suggests they are worthless.

[–] tacosanonymous@mander.xyz 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

He died doing what he loved.

[–] DmMacniel@feddit.org 1 points 1 day ago

Not his wife?

We couldn't be so lucky. Unless someone is running a simulation to see how the Eugenics Wars, Bell Riots, WW3 and Atomic Horror came to be

[–] gedaliyah@lemmy.world 12 points 1 day ago

Doctor, he just keeps shouting "Arch! Computer, arch! Computer, end program!"

[–] teft@piefed.social 32 points 2 days ago (2 children)

I would immediately say “Computer, arch.” just to check.

[–] Klear@piefed.world 35 points 2 days ago

Computer, Arch, btw.

[–] hakunawazo@lemmy.world 19 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] tacotroubles@lemmy.world 12 points 1 day ago

Who's the sick twisted arse hole that designed this program?

[–] LovableSidekick@lemmy.world 15 points 1 day ago

Security reports Niles the butler from The Nanny has been spotted on deck 3.

[–] BenLeMan@lemmy.world 15 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Just remember that any computer system operates by the GIGO principle:

Garbage In, Garbage Out.

(it's a trashcan, right?)

[–] Digit@lemmy.wtf 6 points 1 day ago (2 children)

In what order does it come out?

FIFO? LIFO?

[–] BenLeMan@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

I'm no raccoon but I'm guessing LIFO?

Same way as my buttholes. Omnidirectional.

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[–] gigastasio@sh.itjust.works 10 points 1 day ago

Okay who’s the wise ass who just deleted my wife?

[–] agentTeiko@piefed.social 6 points 1 day ago

Computer delete the wife

[–] shittydwarf@piefed.ca 14 points 2 days ago (3 children)
[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 23 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Wait, the safeties have been ON this whole time?

[–] tiramichu@sh.itjust.works 14 points 1 day ago

Of course. If you've ever been able to injure yourself, that just means you're one of the holograms.

[–] Flower@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 day ago

Do you see dimensional rifts or godlike beings popping in? No. That's because of the safeties.

[–] hakunawazo@lemmy.world 15 points 1 day ago

Ethics express goes brrrr.

[–] rockSlayer@lemmy.blahaj.zone 10 points 2 days ago (1 children)

You monster, you've doomed us all!

[–] Digit@lemmy.wtf 3 points 1 day ago

And a bunch of misanthropes around here upvoted our doom.

[–] Zephorah@discuss.online 11 points 1 day ago

Brilliant decal for public spaces.

[–] Evil_Shrubbery@thelemmy.club 11 points 2 days ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

What's the bad news??

That I'm part of the hologram about to get turned off?
That's just good news on top of good news!

[–] Zahtu@feddit.org 5 points 2 days ago

yeah, i would just be glad that humanity survived as long to develop that kind of technology

Custom magnetic vinyl stickers are cheap nowadays I guess

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