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Mid-forties are a decision point. It's when you decide to either get healthy, and stay healthy the rest of your life, or... you don't.
Your body starts falling apart faster if you don't maintain it. Unlike the years before, the health losses are forever.
Fair warning.
Starting to lift was the best decision I ever made at 40
Same but cycling. Stumbling into a workout that I look forward to was game changing.
That is me with running. I feel like I could do a zone two run forever. Just such a refreshing activity.
I ran. It took me a while, but I started to enjoy it. Then my achilles tendon and knee started to hurt and I stopped for a short while until it would get better.
That was over a year ago and I still can't walk properly when getting out of bed. Friend said I need to lose weight to be able to run again. Well, yeah, how the fuck is that supposed to happen then?
Gotta work on that diet. Best way to lose weight.
Unless you're already eating the perfect diet, then I have no idea. I suppose it would be time for a doctor at that point.
I would argue it's the only way. Can't outrun the fork.
Seriously! I have the best physique I've ever had and look five years younger. It costs me three hours a week and a little effort.
Yeah, I'm in my very early 40's now and after being really skinny for all my life, I'm suddenly getting a beer belly
Having some emotional hardships in the last 2 years didn't help with that either.
So, my first step will be to stop drinking and smoking daily, and start to do some sport, with surfing on holidays being the motivation.
But every time, I'm getting back from a (usually demanding) business trip, I can't do anything, but lay flat.
Like many times, I'm now suffering with a fever and some sinusitis since a week as I got back home.
Every fucking time, I've build up some physical condition, I'm getting sick with something and seemingly lose everything I've won.
This is really frustrating and I'm not sure, how I can break that cycle.
Obviously food (besides stopping to drink and smoke) has a major impact.
But as my wife is a vegetarian, everything I'm cooking is usually vegetarian and healthy already.
On business trips though, they aren't those romantic business trips with good food, wine and just networking.
I'm working in industry warehouses and all the restaurants around are usually rather shit.
I usually don't have lunch, as it makes me too tired in the afternoon. So I tried to have something like Soylent (in my case, I stuck with Plenny + milk and fresh fruits instead of just water) and that felt better.
But it gets quite boring after a few months.
I think, finding a goal, like being able to surf and not just die breathless on the board, is the way to go for me.
But every time, I start for such a regime, I'm getting sick and it feels like everything was for nothing, because all the condition I've build up is seemingly lost again...
Would be very much open for suggestions, because I can't really find a way out, but I have to.
I'm getting more and more unhappy with myself.
It sounds like you could be pushing yourself too hard and too often. I find that typically happens when I've trained hard for about 2 months without a proper deload period, where you continue to workout but reduce the effort by like 75%. Recovery is extremely important.
Diet can have a huge impact on your recovery and fatigue levels. You might be lacking in the nutrition area so its probably worth having a consult with a Dietician - not a nutritionist.
Also water, it can actually help with energy levels if you drink the correct amount of water that your body needs.
Stick with it mate, your body with adapt in time. Just take it easy on yourself and give yourself small goals that you can achieve without specific timelimits. Goals like, I'll go to the gym twice this week or I'll get to bed by 8pm etc etc - nothing huge but its more behavioural goals rather than saying I'm going to squat twice my bodyweight in 2 months or something.
44 is the average age we start to fall apart rapidly, then again at 60. There are periods of rapid deterioration compared to the 50s or 70s.
It's the same thing as a growth spurt in your teens, except tragic and with crunching from the knees.
massively reduced alcohol consumption in my late forties, dropped 20Kg. significantly better for it going into my 50s. probably could do more exercise but I'm 80kg with 32" waist. I'm happy in my body now. 💯 decision time. I've seen friends who made the choice and those who didn't and the difference is stark. one is dead and I didn't think that would start happening to me in my 50s.. RIP Paul
Your body starts falling apart faster if you don’t maintain it.
There's a corollary here that I don't see anyone talking about. If you set a good plan to maintain your body fitness from say your mid 30s on, one day you'll be doing that same reasonable workout routine and then you hurt yourself because its too much. Yesterday it was fine, the prior 15 years it had been fine, but now its not, and you have an injury you need 3 to 6 months to recover from. You think its a fluke and, once healed, you go back to your fitness routine and you injury yourself in a different way. Another 3 to 6 months of recovery.
There appears to be a need to modify or abandon parts of your fitness routine as you get older, but there's no guidebook on what to stop doing and when, nor what to be doing instead.
My guess is as you get older, those support muscles that help keep everything in place also need work. Also, bad form habits are more likely to rear their head as time goes on.
So the people who didn't perfect their form, the ones who use tricks to lift what they do (like a curl you can only complete if you start out my building up momentum on the lower part to get through the upper part), the ones who only work their major muscles, those are most likely to get hurt.
Though there's also wear and tear on your non-muscle infra, like your bones, joints, tendons, and cartilege. If you keep pushing for heavier weights, you put more and more strain on those. They can improve somewhat with training but they aren't like muscles where straining them to the point of failure and tearing encourages the body to build more and age doesn't help there either, especially if you develop arthritis or something that further weakens that support infra.
I was one of those lucky elder millennials who got to own a home by my mid 20s. Bought cheap, the market exploded and several years later made bank off the sale of the property. I thought for once in my life I would treat myself and wife and go after our dream home. I successfully did it and it was great, but real life caught up, had to take care of my grandmother and disabled sister since no one else in the family would. It drained our bank account and had to sell the house at a massive loss and am now living with in laws in a converted shed in their backyard. Now, strapped with debt, I barely see a way back to home ownership, even renting is not in the cards for at least a couple years.
It's awful that in the span of 3 years I went from the happiest, most comfortable I've been in my entire life, to the most stressed and on the verge of homelessness, all due to fucking shit healthcare and shit ass family.
'murica yeah!
Cynicism aside, I am sorry things are so fucked up for you (and also increasingly so for everyone).
Your 40s are where your life situations and choices seem to catch up to you
In your 20s people largely look young and energetic, regardless of whether they exercise, how they eat, whether they smoke, etc.
By the 40s, the smokers look terrible, the people with poor diet and exercise aren’t no longer getting away with it as their metabolism slows, etc. These are the years where you start to see the trajectories diverge.
By the 60s, I see people who are as spry as they ever were, and people who are resigned to the end being near.
Millennial: "Socialism is my retirement plan!"
[proceeds to participate in no direct action whatsoever]
Slight correction, metabolism doesn't slow in the 40s either. Though at least thats better than the slowing in 30s stereotype.
Metabolism stays the from 20s up to 60s, everything else is explained by lifestyle.
https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/surprising-findings-about-metabolism-and-age-202110082613
Weirdly accurate. Early 40's and about to get a divorce and start over. Losing the house I've been in for 12 years and will likely see my children much less. I'm excited and petrified of whats to come.
The journey is shit but the destination is worth it. Keep your kids in mind with everything you do and you'll always be ahead.
Sorry but, isn't the destination... Death? If so, I agree completely ❤️
I was specifically referring to the divorce journey, with the destination being more or less settled after it's finalized.
Your interpretation definitely works though 😆
Damn, hang in there. That's a lot to go through, but i imagine you're probably getting out of a bad situation by the sound of things. Try to keep focused on the good parts, and cherish the time with your children all the more. Hopefully you can get established somewhere soon and begin anew. The end of some things will be the beginnings of others. You might just be starting a hot new era 🙌
Im 42 and im just happy i have Head full of thick, long, black hair without a single grey. And I look more attractive than I ever did. I hated looking younger when I was in my 20s and 30s but I love it now. I don’t think I have a wrinkle more than i did in high school.
Im poor as shit and hate my job, but I have my hair!
Wow, you're the complete opposite of my partner. She's 23 and has about 20% gray hair. Apparently runs in the family because her uncle was fully gray by his college graduation.
I’m old enough to remember selling Tupperware as a viable economy.
By the way, Tupperware is crap now. They deserve to go bankrupt. When a friend started selling Tupperware, I saw stuff that my mother still uses and I remember seeing at home when I was a kid. Now, we bought some stuff that two years later I had to throw away. It’s super shitty now. Not worth the money.
45 no kids drinking gin tonics on a rooftop bar in Malaga atm
I'm the guy who didn't sleep right for the last 3 years. Anyone wants to trade? You get a lot of extra time that you don't spend sleeping!
After high school or college the training wheels are completely off and the guard rails imposed by parents and schools are essentially gone. You’re no longer surrounded by people of similar socioeconomic backgrounds and especially age.
Nobody’s telling you that the “successful relationship” assignment is due by 30, “marriage” by 32, “kid(s)” by 35, etc.
You’re on your own. You don’t have to conform socially anymore, you can get away with ignoring rules. Maybe it works and you become a trendsetter, or maybe you end up in a tent under a bridge. A lot of what happens is luck, good or bad, and a lot of that luck is going to come from how well off your family was when you were young. You’re far more likely to be exposed to other people’s randomness, too, and that can push you up the ladder quickly or wreck you.
There’s variables that you can control and even more that are outside your control once the guard rails are gone that will make your life very different from your peers.
My prostate so healthy.
The 2 big factors are level of activity and kids. They will drain the life out of you.
Like being in the trades. You trade your physical wellbeing for wages.
As a 44 year old, I remember my aunt throwing Tupperware parties.
Also yes to all the branches of lifestyles. I’m single and enjoying my freetime consuming media. Meanwhile a mutual friend of a friend I know has 3 kids, a wife and pets, and a weekend timeshare out near the beach.
It’s p wild.
It was strange being first time parents at that age, while meeting younger couples who were becoming grandparents
A big part of the reason we didn’t have a third kid was the “advanced maternal age” classification, and scary increases in potential genetic issues when the mother hits 40
Already felt like I lived too long. Not sure I can do this another 40
I'm nearing 60 and I feel like I must be about 110. Not physically, because I'm in great shape, bike 25-50 miles a day, work out, keep myself thin. But I've done so many different things in my life, different careers, lived lots of different places, that it feels like I've lived many lifetimes already. And since I grew up in the era of three TV channels, I think I'm already living in science fiction. People talk about their lives going by in a flash, but I kind of think that's a consequence of just doing the same things day after day.
I'm mainly thankful that I don't have any kids to worry about and that it's possible I'll be dead before the climate shit really hits the fan. Being killed by robots is looking very realistic, unfortunately.
I have the opposite problem. In my early 40s and still have no idea what I want to be when I grow up. Hell, I'm still not ready to have* kids!
Point I'm making is that there's not nearly enough time given to us to live our short lives. Especially once you factor in the age of the universe (or even just Earth itself). Humanity as a whole has been a brief flash in the pan; if earth's entire history was condensed down to one hour, you could literally blink and miss out on all of human evolution. That's how little time we're given.
46 here. I just got engaged, never been married no kids. My bff is 47, her daughter graduates high school this year. His bff is 47, his kids are in elementary school. The oldest child of my friend group just graduated college, the youngest was born last year.
52 now and I'm so glad that I picked up weightlifting as a hobby when I was younger. It's like cash in the bank for when I get older.