It took me way too long to get used to this type of power
this post was submitted on 10 May 2026
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me_irl
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Guilt: hi, it's me again. We gotta stop meeting like this hahahahahahaha you fat fuck.
I dont own a car yet I'm fat, how ?
*diabetes and heart disease comes knocking
Either your (lack of) money will stop you, or the cops, or Superman if you steal 40
Someone can stop you
Your jeans:
Your bank:
Your desire for cake:
Maturing from the perspective of loving cake:
Kid: When I grow up I will have my own money and can buy a whole cake everyday!
Teen: When I leave the house I will be able to buy cake as much as I want!
YA: see kid above ^^^
Adult: Now I can finally buy as much cake as I want!
Adult (later that day in varying degrees of pain): The cake was a beautiful lie
And this is why you can never truly just eat as much cake as you want.
YOU CAN DO IT BRUCIE!
wallets have immense stopping power
As do mirrors.
As an adult, you are actually quite limited, because no one will protect you from the consequences.
You have to think about safety and fitting in all the time, else people will not be at all very sympathetic when you are dying from whatever injury or disease.
Or you need that job to afford food and medicine.
Since you are constantly constrained by risk, you are paradoxaly less free.
Nah I just finished off a cake. I didn't buy quite off the shelf. I split the diff and dressed up a boxed chocolate cake mix to do kind of a cafe de ole cake.
And if you're competent lack of money won't stop you.
Knowledge is knowing you can buy the cake.
Wisdom is havjng bought the cake.
regret is having eaten the whole thing in a day.
Diarrhea is the end-result.
what is it when you bake your own cake
Self realization?
You are the source of your own cake?
mad skills and/or being broke
As an adult, I've realized that although I can buy a cake any time and eat it, I don't have the metabolism anymore I had when I was 16. Suddenly after hitting 25-ish, I gained the ability to gain weight and oh my god does it suck
Sorry to be that guy but technically it's not metabolism changes, whilst they exist they're fairly minimal, it would've been a combination of still growing which uses a lot of calories plus teens and younger adults tend to be far more active and therefore burn more calories in a day too. It's mostly that, not much of a change in metabolism.
Shush!
I realized this fully around age 27. I wish I never had. For me, it was pie though. Pie is superior to cake in every way.
it's ice cream here.
(and, it can also go with cake or pie)
Pie with ice cream!
apple, please. with the crumbly top. nah, don't bother with cutting it and putting a little piece on a plate. just gimme the whole pie, tin and all. ty. and don't forget the bucket of ice cream.
As an older adult, high cholesterol levels is what stops you.
That's you stopping yourself. Your cholesterol levels have no agency.
my bank account balance can stop me. a decent quality bakery cake costs like $35 fuck that shit
That's a few days worth of desert though.
not if you're me lol
One of the first things I did when I moved into my first apartment was buy a thing of cinnamon rolls and eat all of them by myself.
My version of this was a fancy chocolate cake that I kept in my freezer an ate by myself over a month or two. By the time it was gone I was so sick of chocolate cake I may never have eaten it again.
Add coffee next time.
The thing stopping me is my autism. Sweet creamy cool textures like those found in a cake feels like a personal attack on my tasting buds so I grew up without developing a sweet tooth. I'm grateful tho, thanks to this I rarely eat sweets at all, which turns to be a very healthy thing.
I did that. I once bought a birthday cake for myself for dinner.
me and my root canals don't forget
Good news is that your teeth can only die once.
The origin story of Gorlock.
That cake looks very appetising but the one problem is that i have seemed to catch some sort of virus and ive been vomitting my guts out for the last 12 hours, tho thankfully its getting better but i would be very scared to eat something as heavy as that.
OP has started down the road toward mental health problems: not doing anything illegal, but indulgent beyond what the average citizen will put up with. It's the law of the excluded middle. 😦
weird inclusion of the car