this post was submitted on 06 May 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] toynbee@piefed.social 1 points 42 seconds ago

No one I've ever been with has drawn shapes on my chest, so I can't speak as to that ... But my chest hair grows in a triangle and several of my partners have suggested that I shave an "S" or a bat shape into it. Does that count?

[–] FreddiesLantern@leminal.space 15 points 3 hours ago

Oh, I’m sorry that you don’t actually enjoy her company. Maybe reevaluate what you want in life.

[–] Chais@sh.itjust.works 20 points 4 hours ago

That's a lot of words and blame shifting to admit you're emotionally stunted.

[–] Malyca@lemmy.zip 20 points 6 hours ago (2 children)

May I suggest that misogynists fuck each other and leave women alone?

[–] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 2 points 1 hour ago

YOU KNOw they fantasize or jerk of to porn that do.

[–] jobbies@lemmy.zip 5 points 5 hours ago* (last edited 5 hours ago) (2 children)

As a gay I'm all for that.

If the fascists just gave in and fucked each other it would solve a lot of problems.

[–] Rakonat@lemmy.world 2 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

Fascists only get off when they are fucking someone over maliciously.

[–] yermaw@sh.itjust.works 2 points 4 hours ago

So the best defence is wearing a gimp suit saying "oh yeah fuck me over, big boy"

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 1 points 4 hours ago

I would like to nominate a change of nomenclature. I motion that we start saying "I am so gay for that" for stuff that we are both in favor of and have strong homosexual (or at very least nonheteronormative) feelings for. Like gay crimes and stuff.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 6 points 4 hours ago (2 children)

"Would you love me if I was a worm?"

Do all y'all really not know how to respond to that? It's like being asked if worm batman could beat up worm superman of your heart. Now that's a question.

[–] Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk 1 points 9 minutes ago (1 children)

"I would if I was a bird."

[–] PhoenixDog@lemmy.world 1 points 3 minutes ago

If you were a worm, I'd be a bird so I could eat you all over again

[–] Shelena@feddit.nl 7 points 4 hours ago

My boyfriend said "no". When I asked him why, he said "Because you are a worm." I acted very offended (which I really wasn't) and I told him that I would love him if he was a worm. He said I was lying, which was true.

We just thought it was very funny and both knew it was a joke. If this is a serious question from someone, then you have a problem I think. That would be ridiculous and immature. It is probably best not to answer then but to ask the question back. Then the person that asked the question has the problem, not you.

[–] Etterra@discuss.online 9 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

When she's about to ask geometry questions and you just want to enjoy the moment.

[–] Ydna@lemmy.world 3 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

I always wanted to bang Pythagoras

[–] NottaLottaOcelot@lemmy.ca 1 points 1 hour ago

Fill me with the volume of your cylinder!!! Tell me the volume!!!

[–] Doomsider@lemmy.world 6 points 7 hours ago

This is when you ask them if they have any friends they would like to invite into your sexcapades.

[–] AnarchistArtificer@slrpnk.net 20 points 10 hours ago (5 children)

I think the image implies that the questions are something big and heavy, likely pertaining to the relationship itself, but when I do this, it's usually something a bit random and abstract.

For instance, earlier today, I asked my partner "if you were a God in a pantheon of many different Gods, what would your domain be? I reckon we wouldn't be especially powerful Gods, so it'd have to be something fairly specific — sort of like how [in Dungeons and Dragons], Azuth is the God of magic as a craft, existing as a lesser God within Mystra's domain of magic in general"

[–] fracture@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

this type of question is how i interpreted this meme. like the question was gonna be some "who would win, superman or goku" type shit LOL

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 1 points 4 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago)

Blasphemy, convergent evolution, atheism, and nachos/queso dip

[–] Apytele@sh.itjust.works 3 points 6 hours ago

When I look up fictional characters with my Meyers Briggs type it's literally all Loki, mercury, foxes, and other trickster spirits, and like 20 different versions of Lucifer so

[–] lonefighter@sh.itjust.works 13 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

Why can't I find partners who ask questions like that? We'd never run out of things to talk about.

[–] AnarchistArtificer@slrpnk.net 2 points 3 hours ago

It took me a long while to find someone who actually appreciated weird stuff like this. There are plenty of folk like us out in the world, it just takes some time to find them sometimes.

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[–] SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone 62 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

Flip the script, play with her tiddies and then ask her if she ever thinks about how all the stars in the universe will burn out one day and then the universe will go on existing for far longer than the entire time that the universe had light. Then motorboat her tiddies while she thinks.

[–] AdaleiM@lemmy.world 6 points 5 hours ago

are you my husband? JFC 😂

[–] TwistedTurtle@sh.itjust.works 45 points 13 hours ago (9 children)

I do find it uncanny how consistently this happens. I won't speculate as to why or if it's good or bad - but I do find it really off-putting when I'm trying to relax and recuperate after sex, and suddenly I'm getting slapped with some existential question or interrogation about the nature of our relationship (even after getting married).

[–] Malyca@lemmy.zip 3 points 6 hours ago

Such a shame when sex toys talk

[–] SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone 39 points 12 hours ago (9 children)

"Would you still love me if I was a worm?"

[–] AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world 3 points 1 hour ago

Sure. I'd love to take you fishing!

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[–] musubibreakfast@lemmy.world 22 points 11 hours ago

Be happy she gives a shit, if you're not careful one day the questions will stop coming.

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[–] kylie_kraft@lemmy.world 65 points 14 hours ago (5 children)
[–] FinjaminPoach@lemmy.world 55 points 13 hours ago (2 children)

When you nut in her and she has the nerve to be askin questions am i right.

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[–] Gork@sopuli.xyz 28 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

"Hun, would you rather get $1 million dollars in a year or get $1 in a million years?"

[–] raspberriesareyummy@lemmy.world 2 points 5 hours ago

The latter, that would kind of guarantee mankind didn't destroy the planet. Could also mean I'll be doomed to survive that long as a ghoul though...

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