this post was submitted on 06 May 2026
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[–] TwistedTurtle@sh.itjust.works 51 points 1 day ago (4 children)

I do find it uncanny how consistently this happens. I won't speculate as to why or if it's good or bad - but I do find it really off-putting when I'm trying to relax and recuperate after sex, and suddenly I'm getting slapped with some existential question or interrogation about the nature of our relationship (even after getting married).

[–] SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone 43 points 1 day ago (2 children)

"Would you still love me if I was a worm?"

[–] AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world 4 points 14 hours ago

Sure. I'd love to take you fishing!

[–] captchacrunch@piefed.social 8 points 23 hours ago (4 children)

She's asking if you love her independently of what she brings to the table. Do you love "her for her". Answer the worm question from that perspective and she'll be reassured and love it.

[–] Holytimes@sh.itjust.works 7 points 19 hours ago (2 children)

No she's being Brian rotted by stupid fucking shit on tiktok and needs to get off social media. Is what needs to actually happen.

[–] FudgyMcTubbs@lemmy.world 3 points 12 hours ago

Brian rotted

That Brian guy is such a piece of shit.

[–] captchacrunch@piefed.social 2 points 13 hours ago

This was a question women asked before social media existed. If you want to be successful at life you need to learn to communicate with people who communicate differently than you do.

[–] Waraugh@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

How would I even communicate or connect with a worm about anything? That makes no sense.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 3 points 17 hours ago

Get in a sleeping bag. Roll around for a while. Think.

[–] YellowParenti@lemmy.wtf 5 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

Wether you're a red wiggler creating compost for me or a common worm i dig up to fish, you'll always be by my side.

[–] swab148@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 21 hours ago

'r one a dem biguns, what's good fer eatin'

[–] SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 18 hours ago

"Would you still love me if I was a pedant?"

[–] musubibreakfast@lemmy.world 23 points 1 day ago

Be happy she gives a shit, if you're not careful one day the questions will stop coming.

[–] AnarchistArtificer@slrpnk.net 8 points 23 hours ago (2 children)

Men tend to get sleepy after sex, whereas women are more likely to become more alert and/or mentally stimulated. I think it's prolactin release that makes men sleepy, though I'm unsure of the potential mechanism behind women becoming more awake.

If you haven't shared with your partner/wife that this is off-putting for you, you should tell her. I think it would be reasonable to say that whilst you understand that questions like this are likely how your partner/wife decompresses after sex, that you would appreciate 5-10 minutes of quiet so that you're able to recuperate also

[–] CultLeader4Hire@lemmy.world 3 points 20 hours ago

Because women’s main sex organ is our brains so when our brains get stimulated they tend to perk up

[–] NeonNight@lemmy.world 3 points 22 hours ago (2 children)

It’s also why lesbian sex can go on and on and on for actual hours (with breaks of course)

[–] AnarchistArtificer@slrpnk.net 2 points 15 hours ago

I think there's more to it than this. In my experience, sapphic sex is less focussed around orgasm, which means there's often periods where the sex/making out is sort of enjoying the good vibes (no pun intended).

In contrast, men that I have slept with can become overly fixated on the idea of me orgasming, which always annoys me because I'm quite difficult to bring to orgasm, and they don't seem to get that orgasm != good sex (they're certainly correlated ofc, but one doesn't necessarily mean the other).

Women also tend to take much longer to reach orgasm, which can mean that sapphic sex tends to be quite dynamic in terms of positions, tempo, use of toys etc.. Like, if I'm going down on a partner who can only orgasm through oral sex, and I know that the position I'm in will start causing me pain before she's anywhere near orgasming, then I might opt to switch things up to be in a position that's restful for me (so I can resume oral afterwards) but still stimulating for my partner.

TL;DR: I think the biochemical wakefulness can't hurt, but I think sapphic sex going on for hours is mostly sociocultural

[–] Anivia@feddit.org 1 points 15 hours ago (1 children)
[–] AnarchistArtificer@slrpnk.net 1 points 15 hours ago

It certainly can, but it's far from typical. Whereas it's not uncommon for lesbian/sapphic sex to last for hours, such that I'm pretty confident that the average duration of sapphic sex is going to be much higher than the average duration of heterosexual sex

[–] Malyca@lemmy.zip 2 points 19 hours ago

Such a shame when sex toys talk