this post was submitted on 01 Apr 2026
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Install a bidet. They're 20 bucks, it's a spray nozzle on a hose, they're awesome. Saw them on holiday in Cambodia everywhere, installed one when I got home, have zero regrets.
Sure, BUT, don't just connect it to the cold water supply - they need proper isolation - I've heard of cases where households have gotten really sick and they found that bacteria from the bum gun had made it back to the drinking water.
What? How would that even work? The nozzle gets dirty and the bacteria propagate three feet up the tube against occasional water flow and into the main pipe?
I'd imagine something like a guest bathroom that is rarely used so the bacteria have time to multiply and diffuse up the water pipe. Or develop a biofilm on the pipe walls that isn't removed by running water (to see this effect leave a dish of water out for a few days so it feels slimy then try to rinse it with water)
I don't think this is likely at all, but I could understand how it could come about in some niche situations.
You can have pressure loss in the while system and it can suck water up it and contaminate a lot of fresh water.
Backflow preventers are a thing. I’d never considered it for a bidet but it makes sense.
You're not supposed to use them as a douche. You should spray it against your anus, not insert it.
Honestly, I don't know how that would work. When I spray, the nozzle doesn't get wet from ricochet. My hand, button and nozzle stay dry except for the tiny holes where the water comes out.
Douching master race. Moved and my bidet no longer has the necessary pressure for douching and I'm back to being the guy from OP's meme. Don't know about inserting anything anywhere tho, the right amount of water pressure, maybe with the right angles, and you're good to go.
Even then, I see no way for water to go back up the bidet line and contaminate stuff elsewhere. Its like expecting faucets to contaminate things upstream when you wash your hands, it kinda makes no sense, at least to me.
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It's tough kid, but it's life? Don't forget to pack a wife?
Downvoters don't get the reference
I get called unc on the regular for exactly this kinda shit I swear😭
Bidet is cool, but how do you dry your ass? Also, what to do when you miss and a stream of water takes shit away off your asshole to other places like clothes and other parts of your body
how do you dry your ass?
2 sheets of toilet paper.
what to do when you miss
It's hard to miss
to other places like clothes and other parts of your body
It doesn't, it's still in the bowl.
It's easier than it might seem.
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Wiping more just turns the paper red instead of brown
Stop wiping and use a portable bidet. You'll never go back to wiping.
Portable bidet
Seen a guy in work filling up his arse bottle in the sink all the time. Was fucking disgusting.
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Okay we have a bidet at home but even when I use it I still need to wipe after. Is it supposed to pressure wash your ass or what exactly am I supposeed to do when using it.
Is it supposed to pressure wash your ass
Yes. I only use toilet paper afterwards to dry everything.
I tried that but it just does not clean that well it seems. The toilet paper gets dirty
You maybe have a shitty bidet, or its settings need to be adjusted .
Also there's a bit of technique - you gotta move around a bit; work the spray around to get everything.
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You're just not supposed to doomscroll on the toilet until everything is dried and has to be scraped off.
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pressure wash your ass
Yes. It shouldn't take that much pressure.
Eat more fibre
Get yourself a proper heated bidet and you’ll never go back. I bought a Toto it warms the seat, automatically shoots soothing warm water at your angry brown eye and then blow dry’s your bum.
Best purchase ever!
Recently went to Japan for work and my hotel had one of these so I got to try it out.
It's my belief that you haven't experienced the best life has to offer until you've had your butthole powerwashed. It was a trancsendental experience for me.
Seconded.
Once you splash yo crack, you’ll never go back.
Hell a cold water bidet will change your life too
And thinking about the amount of paper used, praying that is not going to be clogged
Flush every few wipes to reduce the chance.
Sometimes I'm on my phone while wiping a streaky one and lose track of the amount of paper used.
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Clearly you need poop knife, you gotta shove it in there like how you clean up a empty peanut butter jar.
That’s no way to use a poop knife...
laughs in bidet
Starts to feel like bidet is the linux of butt Cleaning which one is the Arch of bidets?
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Bidets are cool but y'all need to eat more fiber.
Is that the dude that played professor X in the newer X-men movies?
The mivie is called Filth iirc
It's a fun movie
Yep
Yes!
Back in Covid when everyone was filling their house with toilet paper, I bought up a bidet for every Bathroom in the house. It’s the doomsday bidet
Real shit posting
Lack of fiber in your diet. Take a spoon full of psyllium husk in some water before bed. You will also decrease your risk of colon cancer. A bidet is wonderful but does not address the root of the issue.
This is the most right answer. I dont have to wipe mor that 2 times most because of the fiber.
And often those times are just to make sure there is nothing
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