I like it, but it’s even worse than that as I’ve never had my printer murder motorcyclists or trap me inside and burn my body into dust.
this post was submitted on 28 Mar 2026
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iiiiiiitttttttttttt
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you know the computer thing is it plugged in?
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Don't worry. HP is working on this for their next firmware update.
Haha of course they are. Fucking HP.
"your HP subscription is about to expire, would you like to renew it? BTW, that's a nice house you've got there, it would be a shame if something were to happened to it."
Brb, buying every model of HP printer (gotta get a chance at going first, if you don't shoot you can't score)
That's not from lack of desire, but ability.
The spirit is willing, but the cord is short.
Man, imagine a printer with arms. You’re not surviving the night.
I got a shotgun, though. I think I've got a chance.
There was a bug in HP printers that let people remotely set them on fire.
No, see, we only call it a bug if it isn't meant to be in the software. In this case, it's a feature.
While telling you it can't open the door because it's out of magenta.
In the early 2000s my hp printer had a paper jam and the error message from cups was “printer on fire!”
I’ve never had my printer murder motorcyclists
But I suspect it would if it could.
I've never had any problems with my Tesla 3. I wouldn't buy another because Musk, of course. But the car's been solid.
Same, we bought one before Musk went mask off. We're closing on 180,000 KM and have only needed to replace the upper control arms, which was covered by warranty.
You're lucky, then, I think. My nephew's 3 never got right. After a year of ownership they finally agreed to take it back, mostly to avoid a lawsuit, I think.
The fit and finish was also pretty atrocious, but I reckon most people don't really notice.
Same here. The only maintenance has been tires, windshield washer fluid and cabin air filter for the last 5 years. I also won't buy another one as long as Musk is there. Last year we were in the market for a second car and if it was about tech specs alone, a used base model 3 would be the best, but we bought a BMW instead. Fuck Musk, but the car is a pleasure to own.
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tries to start car; gets warning on dash
"low on cyan"
Automotive CMYK
Cyan: Washer fluid
Magenta: ATF
Yellow: Coolant
Key: Engine oil
Photo Key: diff oil
So then it won't start at all, even though you're only trying to drive on a black and white road and cyan wouldn't be anywhere involved...ugh!
And it being a Nazi brand.
TBF so is IBM (actual Nazis, not just fascist fanboys).
No shit? Like historically or up through the modern era or newly so or what?
Historically. IBM provided tech and expertise facilitating the holocaust.
I was considering if I should work for IBM. Maybe I need to do a little reading on that, any sources you recommend?
Edwin Black's book IBM and the Holocaust is the principle source. IBM denies this accounting but I found Black's case compelling and his book cites primary sources in the form of Nazi documents and eyewitnesses in Poland.
Thanks, I'll check it out soon. Appreciate every little new bit of knowledge in this sick world.
As someone who works with printers for a living this is insulting to the printers. They function at least most the time.
Oh, Brother!
Tap for spoiler
Get it?
Unless your printer is brother. Then I wish my car was like my printer.
The car equivalent of a brother printer is a mid 90s to early 10s Toyota.
As a happy owner of a Brother printer, can confirm. The worst thing I can think about my printer is that its menus are in Spanish.
You wouldn't download a printer
I always compare them to Apple products because I hate Apple products.
I hate all those brands that people create a cult around. Back in the 90s, it happened around Saturn cars. Saturn owners were known to be insufferable about their Saturns, as if they owned something special, instead of just another car that anyone could buy at a Saturn dealership.
I test drove one once, to see what the fuss was about, and by the end of the drive, I had about 10 things I hated about it, including headroom being so low, my head hit the ceiling on every bump, even after the sales guy adjusted seat all the way down, and I'm not even 6 feet tall. Apparently, Saturn was hostile toward tall people.
I can chalk a lot up to just people having different tastes and all that, but when people are literally spending non-trivial sums of money on Apple product packaging, like they're collecting the boxes the shit comes in and decorating their space with them, things that they never even actually owned at any point in their lives...I'm sorry but that's just on a whole level beyond people that, like, are into their Jeep (though as recent Subaru owner I've found people are similarly oddly passionate about owning a Subaru...its just a car to me man, sorry lmao) or into FunkoPop or whatever.
Any other product, if you see someone selling an empty box almost 99% of the time it's like, "Yeah, this is a scammer, they're banking on people not paying attention" but with Apple boxes it's definitely 50/50 that it is legit someone selling an empty box to someone looking to buy an empty box. The absolute insanity lol
Don’t you dare slander my printer so
Right? If I want to print something it'll print.
If I want to drive a Tesla, I don't want it to call for the genocide of Jews.
As a Tesla owner: 💯
Also, it locks you inside and starts on fire.
Thats one of the few things I like about it.
Does a Tesla work better when you give it a sharp slap on the side? A little percussive calibration?
Can I offer a little percussive calibration to Musk? Just a sharp slap on the side of his head? I'll bet he'll respond to that.
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