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And that’s basically it!
Which country will one of these people end up getting murdered? My money’s on France. Someone is going to douse their steak au poivre in bacon flavored ranch, and the reaction won’t be pretty.
My money is on Italy the moment they try using it as pasta sauce.
If they can even survive past asking why their pizza doesn’t have any cheese on it.
Okay I get that it might be dangerous but I'm not sure if I am more or less intrigued now
It's fine as long as they livestream it
Yo this is how you start WWIII
Ranch it up bro!
Honestly, if he isn't picked they are just losing money on this.
In Europe they don't know what ranch is so Cool Ranch Doritos are called Cool American Doritos...
in ireland its called Cool Original
And with what Americans have been up to recently, they're going to have to rename it again.
No no, this makes sense. The world's opinion of us is already as low as it can possibly get, this can only help. Not likely but how much worse could it get?
Listen, I love ranch, but you're gonna want to convince the Scots and let them try to convince everyone else. Ranch is amazing on fried food, and by fuck does Scotland fry food.
I want to see an American eat haggis with ranch
They should bring Eric Andre along, he knows how to Ranch It Up!
Ngl, I would love a trip to Europe. I'm not the biggest fan of ranch but I'd put ranch on every damn thing they want. Europeans would be side eyeing me like mad. Wouldn't care. Got free trip.
But do you need extra dressing when the whole kitchen staff have already hocked up their chunkiest loogies to hold up their end of the cultural exchange?
EU: USA wtf are you doing? THE WORLD IS ON FIRE!!!!! STOP! STOP!!!!! STOP!!!!!! Nobody likes that!! Get all your stuff away from everywhere!!
USA: Oh my bad, how about we come on over there and put our stuff on your food? That’ll make everyone happy right?
EU: FFFFFFF!!!!!!!
Free food, traveling across Europe, and all the ranch I can eat? Sign me the fuck up
My unpopular opinion
Ranch is disgusting
We make ranch at home to occasionally dip things in, and it’s enjoyable. However, the slimy, sour shit that comes out of a bottle of Hidden Valley Ranch is diagusting.
Homemade ranch really is on another level! Cheaper than the bottled stuff too. $1.50 for a small thing of sour cream and another $1 for a package of seasoning. I used to just use whatever was in my spice cabinet, but the package is so convenient if you just want it easy.
I used to like it, but nowadays I much prefer vinaigrettes. Ginger based Asian ones are good too. White sauces generally feel kinda heavy to me.
After having gone out and tried other brands of ranch (hidden valley was my family's goto all my life), I have found that I aftually quite hate hidden valley's.
I’ve been to a few places in Europe where I know that if I brought in ranch and put it on the food, I’d be killed.
This new form of American imperialism is shockingly evil.
Another Walmart moment.
This is more than a job — it’s a cultural exchange powered by an incredibly versatile flavor
Good luck with that, don't die.
assistant to the branch-assador
What's that "Ranch"? Just the usual mix of fat and sugar to drown any food and its taste with, good American style?
Ok but I have to break the news to you: I know many European people who have gone ape shit when they tried ranch for the first time.
I can never quite tell whether that means that they loathed it, or that they went mad for it.
Ranch induced psychosis is a terrible blight on humanity!
It really is a terrible business. I had a friend who went the United States once, tried it, and then had a psychotic break where he started thinking he was a male sheep.
He ultimately had to be sent to a farm upstate for treatment. Some place called the Ram Ranch.
The place with all the throbbing cocks? I hear they produce the best poultry.
Yes
they went wild, as in good. like when a dog gets its first taste of ice cream. they go bananas, knocking tables over and smashing into bookshelves to get their prissy little european hands on that tub of ronch
Litehouse is better (it has what the ranch craves (buttermilk))
Seeing the title photo of the article, I hope they will be put behind bars for capital culinary crimes.
They should bring better ranch. Nothing will taste good with shit like Hidden Valley.
I don't know how ranch tastes, but i always read "rank".
It's just buttermilk with some herbs. It mostly tastes like buttermilk.
So like a creamy butter sauce.
Hidden valley adds so much extra s*** that it's undetectable underneath it all, which is a big reason why people tend to say they don't like ranch. They specifically don't like hidden valley buttermilk dressing, but normal ass ranch dressing is typically fine.
I just showed this to my Italian work colleagues.
Ranch dressing on pizza....
Torches are lit, pitchforks are at the ready
And I haven't even explained to them what ranch dressing is yet
I think this is the most American thing I've ever read.
