this post was submitted on 10 Mar 2026
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] hanrahan@slrpnk.net 34 points 6 days ago (2 children)

fanny is pussy in the UK and Aus.

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 14 points 6 days ago (1 children)

If it's so fanny, why's nobody laughing?

[–] P1k1e@lemmy.world 4 points 6 days ago

You got me laughing ya damn fool

[–] ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 6 points 6 days ago

Missing from the greentext: anon is a trans man trapped on TERF island.

[–] arctanthrope@lemmy.world 121 points 1 week ago (2 children)

you can tell they're not actually British because in Britain people who have "willies" do not have "fannies"

[–] turbowafflz@lemmy.world 45 points 1 week ago (5 children)

Penis preserving vaginoplasty is a thing. I don't think it's at all common but it is a thing

being nonbinary that sounds potentially good

neat, TIL

[–] SlurpingPus@lemmy.world 9 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (1 children)

Considering that the peen is propped up by the part that continues inside the taint, either the dick anatomy and functionality isn't quite entirely preserved, or the vagina would have to be plasted above the dick. 🤔

[–] WalrusDragonOnABike@reddthat.com 2 points 6 days ago (1 children)

I think it just uses the canal that's already there if you don't opt for zero-depth. Not sure how functional the vagina is though, but iirc the penis functionality is usually preserved.

[–] SlurpingPus@lemmy.world 3 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (2 children)

Considering the extent of corpus spongiosum, part of the root of the penis, I don't see how you could shove it aside and put a hole and the vulva in there. Except if it's some kinda microvagina.

[–] Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world 2 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Two words: inguinal canal.

Though that would still be awkward, as it would mean the new vagina’s off to the side instead of in the middle.

Not saying it’s for sure how it’s done (I have no idea on that), just that I think that’s the “canal” OP is referencing.

[–] SlurpingPus@lemmy.world 2 points 6 days ago

Fuck me in the passage in the anterior abdominal wall, daddy.

(Also, some of the photos on the matter resemble Giger's paintings a bit too much.)

[–] WalrusDragonOnABike@reddthat.com 2 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Do the balls just gone on either side of that then? Or do they push it out of the way?

[–] SlurpingPus@lemmy.world 2 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Not sure what kind of anatomy you have where the balls are in the pathway of the dick.

[–] WalrusDragonOnABike@reddthat.com 2 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Just normal anatomy. Just frequently put the balls into their storage space above.

[–] SlurpingPus@lemmy.world 2 points 6 days ago (1 children)

The balls pocket isn't on my anatomy atlas.

Originally it would have been an ovaries pocket, I suppose? But repurposing it is nice.

Yeah, but if you got one of those there's no fucking reason you'd wanna go to ingerland

[–] rumschlumpel@feddit.org 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] turbowafflz@lemmy.world 20 points 1 week ago

Mmm, I would not recommend using that word when talking about real people

[–] SARGE@startrek.website 14 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Maybe they mean a strap-on and OP is, in fact, a woman?

Fake: the penis is plastic Gay: OP is a lesbian woman

[–] towerful@programming.dev 18 points 1 week ago

Illegal: the strap on is unlicense

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 77 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Was believable until the dude said "stabbed me in the fanny." It does not mean what it means over here.

[–] nova_ad_vitum@lemmy.ca 2 points 5 days ago

Literally any word can be replaced with fanny and it will still make sense. Example: fanny fanny fanny in my fanny over the fanny .

[–] NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone 21 points 1 week ago (1 children)

That’s pretty presumptive of you. Some blokes have a fanny.

[–] kkj@lemmy.dbzer0.com 23 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Would he be that concerned over a willy check if he did, though?

If they are checking for willies and he doesn’t have one, he should really have his V80085 exception forms up to date.

[–] NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone 14 points 1 week ago

Well, obviously.

[–] ChicoSuave@lemmy.world 70 points 1 week ago (1 children)

You know it's not real because the web address is pornbruv.uk instead of pornbruv.co.uk

[–] Tanoh@lemmy.world 24 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Aschttuaaalllyyy.... .uk allows registrations directly on .uk without the stupid .co.uk, they started that in ~2014.

However .co is more common, also if it was a goverment site it wouldn't use .co (company) anyway and instead .gov.uk.

[–] RichardDegenne@lemmy.zip 6 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Ackhually, it's "commercial", not "company" 🙃

[–] rmuk@feddit.uk 3 points 6 days ago (2 children)

Ackshually it's "advert", not "commercial", innit.

[–] Sonotsugipaa@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

AscktchsPHFTually it's "advertisement", not "advert", ma'e

[–] RichardDegenne@lemmy.zip 2 points 5 days ago

".co" stands for "advert"?

[–] TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world 59 points 1 week ago

🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧

🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧

OI!!!

YER BUGGERIN’ LOICENSE HAS EXPOIRED!!! 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧

ONE HUNNIT TESCO CLUBCARD POINTS ‘AVE BIN DEDUCTED FROM YER ACCOUN’!!! 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧

YER THREE QUID 'ANDY OR A SLOBBY ROBBY IS GONNA BE A FIVER FROM NOW ON!!! 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧

YER WILL ALSO ONLY BE ABLE TER CHOOSE FROM A VAJOINER OR AN 'AM SANDWICH!!! 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧

FAILURE TO RENEW YER LOICENCE IS GONNA RESUL’ IN THA LOSS OV MORE CLUBCARD POINTS!!! 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧

🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧

🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧

[–] blimthepixie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 19 points 1 week ago

stabbed me and called me a fanny

Would have been better

[–] toiletobserver@lemmy.world 18 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] PhobosAnomaly@feddit.uk 18 points 1 week ago (1 children)

fun fact, there was no riding, she spurned his advances

[–] sbv@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 week ago
[–] doingthestuff@lemy.lol 4 points 1 week ago

The most disgustingly British thing I've ever seen