PhobosAnomaly

Awesome. I am - at best, out of the loop in entertainment news: and at worst, culturally retarded - so I was sat at LCY with a colleague and he was pointing out famous chefs, golfers, public figures every five minutes.

I was still trying to figure out how anyone affords either to eat or drink at the airport without being on business expenses.

For celeb-spotting and transit links: London City Airport. It's nice being able to check your bags and fuck off into Stratford for a few hours. It's super expensive though.

For a chill experience: London Southend Airport. Not in London, but loads of seating, decent views across the tarmac, and loooaaads of room.

For getting lost: Washington Dulles. Christ that place was designed by Stevie Wonder in a house fire. The sheer number of destinations is wonderous though fair play, a great place to feel like a tiny cog in a huge machine.

Edinburgh is a banger. Great support for families, spacious, and generally chill - decent transport links too.

The departures lounge is starting to sprawl with retail now though, but can't have everything I suppose.

I dunno man. I think if you were to ask that young lad in ten weeks; ten months; ten years...

At first, I was like "that geezer is hard as fuck, seen more shit than one dude should ever see, and is sat there totally chill"...

...and then his lad started crying and felt the complete opposite.

That poor kid has been traumatised for years and did fuck all to deserve it.

👎

I'm not planning on a burial, but those biodegradable cardboard coffins look pretty awesome, and they're (comparatively) cheap as fuck too.

My plan is to get cremated - but it would be great to either sneak in some petrol into the casket, or pay the funeral directors to go for a two minute walk while someone packs my casket with fireworks or other low-explosive compounds.

At best, it'll put on one last show - and at worst it'll give the crematorium staff member a hell of a shock.

All you had to do, was pick a damn distro CJ.

Fuck me, that's a brave call, seeing as some destinations are off limits depending on what passport you have!

I didn't think there'd be enough people to fill an Aerial Lingus "mystery" flight without filling the rest of the seats with regular passengers, but then I suppose the people who had booked on to the flight as a regular segment would ruin the surprise within seconds.

Or worse, the US telecom franchise 😭

e: obligatory Sinclaaaaaaaiiiirrrr

Saved you a click: Munich.

I can only assume that the software that looks up the flight code failed to find a destination, or the object is malformed - so in the absence of any destination is just reads "Mystery Flight".

Quality, though.

Anecdote time: I went for a job interview at the other end of the UK a few years ago, hopped on a flight to Aberdeen. Got comfy, nice flight, decent staff etc - and about 45 mins in the flight crew announced "we'll be shortly arriving at Liverpool John Lennon airport..." with the rest of the safety spiel.

I felt my heart sunk. Not only would it be an expensive pain in the butthole to get back, but I'd have to make the call of doom to my future manager effectively saying "don't bother giving me the job because I'm clearly a fucking idiot".

Turns out, it was one of those "hopper" style services more commonly found on island communities, a two leg flight to Aberdeen stopping off midway to let people off and add people on. I nearly died of shame 😂

what about now bruv?

déja vu intensifies

On the topic of sharpeners, those battery powered pressure sharpeners are satisfying as fuck. They're shit and invariably snap the nib, but they're the sharpening equivalent of shoving a Q-tip in your ear and having a good rake about.

Or if you're all about the procrastination, spending a few minutes every lesson at the classroom sharpener like this one brings back the nostalgia: