424
"Poke." says the knife.
"Pssshh!" answered the tire.
this post was submitted on 08 Mar 2026
424 points (98.8% liked)
Fuck Cars
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Yeah even for this person's selfish thought process i don't see how they feel comfortable doing this. The whole time it's there they should be constantly worried that their car will get keyed
Subtler, safer, and more damaging to damage the air valve instead.
You don't know what you're talking about. The air valve is separate from the tire. It attaches to the rim. There's no inner tube.
A new tire is 50-200 bucks. 50 probably being a used POS.
That valve? Many tire shops will replace for free, or very cheap (a few dollars max.)
Side wall damage? You're gonna need a new (or used, not recommended) tire.
Also. Go for a small, sharp smooth blade. There's a good chance it'll just slow leak and they'll make it to McDonald's or whatever and then run flat. XD
The tires for my minivan run $130 to $220 each. The tires on that truck are not standard and are extra wide. Id bet closer to $300-$400 each.
It's not the cost, it's the inconvenience.
Even if he has a spare tire for that monster, I wanna see him try replacing it, it'll be hilarious.
Or he'll have to call a tow and wait for it.
Either way, awesome. Push comes to shove, "your honor, I offer to settle this dispute by paying the cost of the valve I supposedly damaged."
That's an interesting perspective.
But usually the spare or donut comes with it's own rim and valve.... So shouldn't need a tow.
But that's also why you always slash more than one tire. Nobody is carrying multiple donuts.
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Cars aren't supposed to park here.
I'm so tired of this shit.
Beautiful weather and sunset we had tonight though.
What stretch of Bryant has the bike lane? I biked downtown to the greenway last summer and it was just shared car lanes on a two-way (though I think I only encountered one non-parked car), this looks nice.
EDIT: like like about 35th to 50th South. Very cool, I'll try to check it out this week!
Report it on the Minneapolis 311 app, usually bike lane parkers are gone by the time someone finally shows up to investigate, but they use the reports to direct infrastructure improvements to try to keep this from happening again.
I had some asshole parked in the protected bike lane on my ride home elsewhere in Minneapolis tonight and I really should have reported them but I didn't.
It would be a shame if they had to take longer because they needed to inflate a mysteriously flat tire...
Don't tell us, tell the tow company. Make sure you collect the spotters fee if they offer one.
Have it towed then?
I was going to say, just call a few tow companies. They are the worst scum of the earth class traitors ever. They're looking to take anything they can to hold for ransom.
You just have to be vaugue enough about the vehicle that they send one of their guys getting $15/hr who doesn't give a shit to show up before the tow companies owners realize that's their family/friends truck.
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European brains cannot comprehend that this is a “car” and not a semi-truck.
Also, isn’t it dangerous to do the stabby stabby with tires? Because they might burst? Asking for a friend.
Also can't comprehend the "protected" bike lane.
It just looks like more road
Don’t you see the thin strip of « same concrete as the road but paler »?! Totally protected now!
Also, if it was a higher wall, a car could get slightly damaged if it veered of course. Totally unacceptable. Human bodies don’t scratch the paint off as much.
Lentil under the cap, slowly releasing the pressure.
Do you regularly carry lentils for this purpose?
Rocks are both free and everywhere. I see some in this picture
Can you eat rocks when hunger attacks, NO!
This is why I always carry my pocket lentils!!
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If it's a car, you can stab 30PSI and not die. If it's an actual, real truck, it's well past 100PSI and will blow your hand off.
Ok good to know that I will not die when it’s 30PSI. But will I be deaf? Will it blow loudly so everyone notices?
If you poke it slowly, it will make a slow leak. However it will be easily repairable.
Personally I started to cut brake lines instead.
The tread is easily repairable but you cant repair sidewall damage legally, at least where I am. 😉
The car I was hitting was "owned" by someone who did nothing legally. I eventually figured out the reason he drove cars like they were stolen was because they were actually stolen.
Always report to the authorities (police or whatever), even if they don't do anything. If the complains keep pilling up, it will fuck their stats and eventually someone will be forced to do something.
After reporting, do whatever you want ;-)
Tow truck companies love the commission.
Also, spark plugs are cheap, windows aren't.
Maybe they have one of those fancy laminated side window that immune to ninja rock. Body paint vs key? That's a different thing.
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Fucker is parked left of center too. Other than an obviously "not a parking space" you're supposed to park in the same direction as traffic faces. Always a pickup.
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The group Tire Extinguishers suggest unscrewing the valve vap, a grain of rice, and screw the cap back on. The tire goes flat slowly.
I like the UK system where you can report them online with video evidence.
‘bryant ave 🇺🇸🏠Concerned Residents 🏠🇺🇸 Facebook Page’
Unprotected bike lane.
Call a tow
Set it on fire.
Apply a screwdriver to the rubber it floats around on
Amateur hour.
Stick a BB in the valve stem caps. It will leak slowly, but surely, from all four tires, and it will take a while before they discover it.
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Dodge ram owners are just rich Nissan Altima assholes.
Start our own tow company for these guys. I hear there’s money in it anyway.
No no no. You've got the spirit, but the wrong idea.
You start the tow company, and also get one of those car compactor things. The kind that takes full size cars, and compacts them to itty bitty squares that will fit in your other car's backseat.
I'm not a lawyer, but I'm pretty sure you could set up a registered non-profit ("Cycle Lane Awareness and Promotion"), and have that charity set up & own a towing company ("Cycle Lane Towing Co."). Then have the articles of incorporation of Cycle Lane Towing Co. specify that all profits go to Cycle Lane Awareness, which in turn spends them on ... cycle lane awareness and promotion.
Then make an app + mobile Website for cyclists to report parking like this with a few taps / clicks ...
MN License YNE5564
They can't (legally) drive without a license plate.
This guy knows exactly what he is doing and thought to himself...try me big boy bicycler..
you still got some ground snow there oh damn my fart
anyway the ram driver can eat the damned fart
Looks like the vehicle of a big, strong, alpha who carries his gun to the grocery store in case there's a trans person in aisle 4 who would viciously attack. /s
where I am at you can take a picture and send it to a city office that will have a parking ticket created and sent out.
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