Call a tow
Fuck Cars
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Looks like the vehicle of a big, strong, alpha who carries his gun to the grocery store in case there's a trans person in aisle 4 who would viciously attack. /s
Always report to the authorities (police or whatever), even if they don't do anything. If the complains keep pilling up, it will fuck their stats and eventually someone will be forced to do something.
After reporting, do whatever you want ;-)
"Poke." says the knife.
"Pssshh!" answered the tire.
Yeah even for this person's selfish thought process i don't see how they feel comfortable doing this. The whole time it's there they should be constantly worried that their car will get keyed
Subtler, safer, and more damaging to damage the air valve instead.
You don't know what you're talking about. The air valve is separate from the tire. It attaches to the rim. There's no inner tube.
A new tire is 50-200 bucks. 50 probably being a used POS.
That valve? Many tire shops will replace for free, or very cheap (a few dollars max.)
Side wall damage? You're gonna need a new (or used, not recommended) tire.
Also. Go for a small, sharp smooth blade. There's a good chance it'll just slow leak and they'll make it to McDonald's or whatever and then run flat. XD
It's not the cost, it's the inconvenience.
Even if he has a spare tire for that monster, I wanna see him try replacing it, it'll be hilarious.
Or he'll have to call a tow and wait for it.
Either way, awesome. Push comes to shove, "your honor, I offer to settle this dispute by paying the cost of the valve I supposedly damaged."
That's an interesting perspective.
But usually the spare or donut comes with it's own rim and valve.... So shouldn't need a tow.
But that's also why you always slash more than one tire. Nobody is carrying multiple donuts.
A while back there was a local kerfuffle because some vandal was slashing the tires of cars which came to visit a local park at the top of a bluff. The vandal would only slash 3/4 tires and it apparently made getting insurance to cover it hell because insurance would cover 4 damaged tires but not only 3. Also 3 tires is more likely to be less than/about the insurance deductible thereby making it more costly to the owner. So the vandal was really causing maximum possible chaos by slashing only 3 tires
The tires for my minivan run $130 to $220 each. The tires on that truck are not standard and are extra wide. Id bet closer to $300-$400 each.
Cars aren't supposed to park here.

I'm so tired of this shit.
Beautiful weather and sunset we had tonight though.
European brains cannot comprehend that this is a “car” and not a semi-truck.
Also, isn’t it dangerous to do the stabby stabby with tires? Because they might burst? Asking for a friend.
Also can't comprehend the "protected" bike lane.
It just looks like more road
Don’t you see the thin strip of « same concrete as the road but paler »?! Totally protected now!
Also, if it was a higher wall, a car could get slightly damaged if it veered of course. Totally unacceptable. Human bodies don’t scratch the paint off as much.
Lentil under the cap, slowly releasing the pressure.
So they don't notice and then they drive with flat tires and crash into and kill decent pedestrians and cyclists?
They'll notice.
Not that slow. Most cars stay in place over the course of a day around 23h (maybe not at a time), but still: if the driver doesn't hop in immediately, the tire will be mostly or totally deflated at when they arrive.
Tow truck companies love the commission.
Report it on the Minneapolis 311 app, usually bike lane parkers are gone by the time someone finally shows up to investigate, but they use the reports to direct infrastructure improvements to try to keep this from happening again.
I had some asshole parked in the protected bike lane on my ride home elsewhere in Minneapolis tonight and I really should have reported them but I didn't.
It would be a shame if they had to take longer because they needed to inflate a mysteriously flat tire...
Is the truck parked behind that main battle tank?
No, the car is inside the tank
Don't tell us, tell the tow company. Make sure you collect the spotters fee if they offer one.

Have it towed then?
I was going to say, just call a few tow companies. They are the worst scum of the earth class traitors ever. They're looking to take anything they can to hold for ransom.
You just have to be vaugue enough about the vehicle that they send one of their guys getting $15/hr who doesn't give a shit to show up before the tow companies owners realize that's their family/friends truck.
Tow company has to have a contract with the city, they can't just randomly go abduct cars without it. So you have to know which companies have that contract.
Set it on fire.
Apply a screwdriver to the rubber it floats around on
Amateur hour.
Stick a BB in the valve stem caps. It will leak slowly, but surely, from all four tires, and it will take a while before they discover it.
The only problem is, you want them to know it's because they parked like a idiot.
For that, keep a gel deodorant stick in your bag. Apply gel to the door handles.
Also helpful if you forget to D.O. before work.
Fucker is parked left of center too. Other than an obviously "not a parking space" you're supposed to park in the same direction as traffic faces. Always a pickup.
looks like a one-way road.
MN License YNE5564
They can't (legally) drive without a license plate.
This guy knows exactly what he is doing and thought to himself...try me big boy bicycler..
The group Tire Extinguishers suggest unscrewing the valve vap, a grain of rice, and screw the cap back on. The tire goes flat slowly.
I like the UK system where you can report them online with video evidence.
where I am at you can take a picture and send it to a city office that will have a parking ticket created and sent out.
Unprotected bike lane.
‘bryant ave 🇺🇸🏠Concerned Residents 🏠🇺🇸 Facebook Page’