this post was submitted on 02 Nov 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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I am supportive of you being Canadian

all 44 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] owenfromcanada@lemmy.world 107 points 2 years ago (6 children)

"What's your gender?"

"Canadian."

"No, who do you like?"

"Donuts."

"No no, what's in your pants?"

"Polite manners."

[–] SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone 46 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

"No, no, I'm talking about your genitals."

"Oh, you mean Tim Horton's?"

[–] JimVanDeventer@lemmy.world 8 points 2 years ago

Fun fact: timbits were named so in honour of his fatal drunk driving car accident.

[–] Sparky@lemmy.blahaj.zone 19 points 2 years ago (1 children)

"what's in your pants?"

"a party you're not invited to"

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 8 points 2 years ago

"a hockey knife"

[–] andshit@lemmy.world 17 points 2 years ago

Doughnuts**

[–] CanadianCarl@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 years ago (1 children)

As a Canadian, I know you are American from your spelling of doughnuts.

[–] owenfromcanada@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago

Surprise, I'm both!

[–] phx@lemmy.ca 2 points 2 years ago
[–] GrymEdm@lemmy.world 49 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (2 children)

We are sorry to hear you are disappointed with the Canadian gender identity. Please hold if you wish to express your concerns to one of our agents. Alternatively, courses on the benefits and challenges of being Canadian and what it means to be hockeysexual are available in English and French. Completion of the course grants access to free-but-slow healthcare and a $25 Tim Hortons gift card.

[–] SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone 17 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Please hold if you wish to express your disappointment to one of our agents.

I just want to say replacing fig leaves with maple leaves is rough because it leaves a bunch of sticky on your junk.

[–] SurfinBird@lemmy.ca 16 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Maple syrup on your junk is a proud Canadian Thanksgiving tradition.

[–] CanadianCarl@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 years ago

I was sick and family was busy. So I missed thanksgiving this year.

[–] rbesfe@lemmy.ca 12 points 2 years ago (1 children)

pour le service en français, appuyez sur le 2

[–] raynethackery@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago

Why isn't the first option?

[–] muyessir@lemmy.world 14 points 2 years ago

Huge missed opportunity: could have been God made Adam and Eve, not Maple and Leaf

[–] hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone 13 points 2 years ago

There is no such thing as 'Canadian', it's just a phase!

[–] connaisseur@lemmy.ca 13 points 2 years ago
[–] Moose@moose.best 11 points 2 years ago (3 children)

Pretty sure he did say Adam and Moose.

[–] Flocklesscrow@lemm.ee 5 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Hey, Adam; watch me pull a rabbit outta my hat!

[–] capt_wolf@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

I think he said moose and squirrel!

[–] letsgo@lemm.ee 4 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Naah, Moose came later, he was the chap who came down from a mountain with a couple of iPads, then drove out of the desert in a Triumph, or something like that.

[–] jubilationtcornpone@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 years ago (1 children)

The Book of Mormon is a wild ride.

[–] hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 2 years ago

No spoilers please!

[–] raynethackery@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago

Wasn't she on YCDTOTV?

[–] militaryintelligence@lemmy.world 10 points 2 years ago (1 children)

My pronouns are Canadian/Eh

[–] monsterpiece42@reddthat.com 9 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I'm guessing this is not a required demographic question in Canada.

[–] micka190@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago

Might be a case where Canadian applicants submit another form that has the relevant information in a different format too.

[–] ZeffSyde@lemmy.world 8 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (2 children)

I called out a form and one of the options was for diet. The choices were:

Omnivore, Vegetarian, Vogon.

[–] Jiggle_Physics@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago

those scintillating, jeweled, scuttling crabs are good though.

[–] watersnipje@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Just don’t allow them to recite poetry at you

[–] ekZepp@lemmy.world 7 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] Dozzi92@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago

I'm an American. I actually like America, for what it's worth. Canada, however, has the superior anthem.

[–] 21Cabbage@lemmynsfw.com 6 points 2 years ago

One assumes it's either customary or law not to ask if it's not relevant.

[–] jaybone@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago

Is this Windows95?

[–] SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Our country reeks of trees / our Yaks are really large

[–] not_woody_shaw@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago

And they smell like rotting beefcarcasses.

[–] LovableSidekick@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Probably just a cut and paste error, still funny.