this post was submitted on 16 Feb 2026
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This would be great if you wanted to talk to yourself without anyone understanding what you're saying, for example, or if you didn't want anybody to know what you were writing down. It might also be useful if you enjoy lots of foreign language media (see music, tv shows, movies) and want to experience the "original" rather than through dubs and subs.

Personally, I would go for either Russian, German, or Estonian, all three of which are because I frequently listen to lots of music that are in those languages

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[–] Mesa@programming.dev 1 points 4 hours ago

Haven't picked back up consistently learning Japanese in like 8 years, but it's a joy to feel the progress of learning such a vastly different language. I know enough Spanish that it'd be a waste to spend this gift on it.

I guess the most tactical option for me that's still interesting would be Arabic, because while I love the idea of knowing it, I don't think I'll ever give myself the time to learn it.

[–] sefra1@lemmy.zip 4 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Would probably go for Japanese since I watch too much anime and Japanese media so learning Japanese would be super useful.

But then most anime and tons of Japanese media is translated anyway, except for music, but in that case I listen to a lot more of German music than I do Japanese, so maybe I would learn German instead.

But then, I can probably learn German much easier the traditional way that I can an Asian language, so maybe I should use the cheat to learn the language that would be harder for me to learn traditionally than just German. (Even though I've watched so much anime by now that I effectively can understand Japanese much better than I do German.)

EESTI RIIGI KEEL, ON EESTI KEEL!!!!

anyways i choose cornish so i can continue learning German and after that Spanish.

[–] MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip 2 points 1 day ago
[–] DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works 24 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (2 children)

JAPANESE

I wanna watch Anime without needing subtitles...

Also sometimes meaning get lose in translation...

I'd love to rewatch Steins;Gate with proficiency in Japanese.

Oh btw, I have never met a Japanese person (I mean maybe I could've had walked passed by an ethnic Japanese that have been too Americanized for me to know their ethnicity... cuz then they're just "Asian American" to me, and it'd be hard to tell) and never heard anyone IRL actually speaking Japanese fluently...

So yea knowledge of Japanese can impress a lot of Western weebs.

I could even pretend to be Japanese for the lulz... since I'm ethnic Chinese and I doubt most Americans would even be able to tell the difference xD (I mean I probably can't tell apart East Asian ethnicities either, despite me being East Asian myself)

[–] yermaw@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 day ago

Its OK, I'm European and couldn't distinguish a Swede from a Fin.

[–] xep@discuss.online 3 points 2 days ago

Good news, if you can read and write Chinese you're already partly there!

[–] Cocodapuf@lemmy.world 11 points 2 days ago (1 children)

language that nobody speaks in your region

I realize this is a bit pedantic, but if you live in a city, there aren't really languages that aren't spoken in your region.

But for my choice, definitely Aztec. There's nothing more fun to say than Aztec words. Tlachtli. Quetzalcoatl. Axolotl. Tlapalpoyactic.

(That last one is the word for the color "orange")

[–] dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

I see your pedantry and raise you my own:

There are absolutely languages nobody speaks in your region even if you live in a city.

I therefore choose sign language or Assembly.

[–] Cocodapuf@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

Heh, I guess I wouldn't say I "speak" it, but between programming games and actual coding, I think I've used 4 or 5 different dialects of assembly.

[–] rowinxavier@lemmy.world 16 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Pictish.

It is a lost language from the British Isles and from one of the coolest populations in the area. They would paint patterns on their skin in blue then charge into battle naked. I reckon their insults and swearing would be absolutely raucous.

[–] palordrolap@fedia.io 5 points 2 days ago

If you want some idea what it might have been like, it would probably be about as close to Welsh as Welsh is to Breton.

... which might not be all that helpful as a factoid, so here's Wikipedia's Swadesh list for the Celtic languages: https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/Appendix:Celtic_Swadesh_lists

(In loosely related news, you know you might have been reading too much about linguistics when, while scanning the above, you recognise the Welsh word "benyw" as a cognate for the English word "queen", (but with a meaning closer to Norwegian "kvinne"). That was a kick in the head for sure.)

[–] Fleur_@aussie.zone 1 points 1 day ago

Malay probably

[–] irate944@piefed.social 13 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Latin. For no specific reason, it would just be cool

[–] chunes@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago

This would be my answer too, but because it would instantly give me a much better understanding of the etymology of many words.

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[–] cerebralhawks@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 2 days ago

Japanese, for the media. But really…

Loxian. The language was created by Enya’s songwriter, Roma Ryan, and the two of them are the only users of Loxian. Ryan’s husband Nicky (Enya’s producer) passed way last year, and his wife is probably not far behind. She’s in her 80s (Enya is in her mid-60s herself).

It is a real language and it exists in exactly five songs by Enya. The best one IMO being The Loxian Gate. The only reason we have translations is because Roma herself has written them, and we have to take her at her word that they are accurate, because it’s her language.

If you don’t want to look up any songs and hear it, it sounds like Gaelic (traditional Irish language) with some Elvish (like from Lord of the Rings, which Enya did the song May it Be from, and sang part of it in Elvish) mixed in.

[–] davidgro@lemmy.world 11 points 2 days ago (1 children)

"Region" would have to be extremely small around here to not include someone who speaks almost any (natural) language a typical person could think of.

I'll just go ahead and answer a different question: If I could instantly learn any language and my SO could instantly learn it also, I'd pick ASL, because it would be very nice to have a way to communicate that works where talking either doesn't work (loud places, for example) or would disturb others, or just across a large room.

[–] sbeak@sopuli.xyz 2 points 2 days ago

Oh, sign language could be a good one!

[–] cepelinas@sopuli.xyz 1 points 1 day ago

Probably one of the nordic languages as everyone from my country is going there for work.

[–] MisterNeon@lemmy.world 8 points 2 days ago

Nahuatl. It's one of the indigenous languages of Mexico. It's what the people of Tenochtitlan and several other cities spoke.

When people think "Aztec" it's that language.

[–] zlatiah@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Define "nobody", because there are over 100 languages spoken at fluent level or above by at least a few ppl where I live

If we ignore the technicalities... Polish. Spoken by a lot of people, quite difficult to learn & would be a good priority target for magically learning it, and hopefully a good gateway to the rest of the Slavic languages

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[–] neidu3@sh.itjust.works 10 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Mandarin. It'd be useful for me to learn because of my job, and I've been meaning to learn it for quite a while. I just can't seem to find a decent source for learning that doesn't focus on the written language; I only need spoken Mandarin.

[–] AceFuzzLord@lemmy.zip 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)

If we're talking city wide, then I doubt there are many fluent French speakers. So I'd Probably choose French just to not use it.

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[–] NoblityAbility@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

Chinese so I can flex being fluent in one of the most difficult languages

[–] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 1 points 1 day ago

latin. old english

[–] FinjaminPoach@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

Hmm spanish or chinese would be most helpful statistically, but French or German would be best for understanding things i want to read + watch.

Also knowing latin or ancient greek is great for showing off.. lots of buildings around here that have latin on themand it hurts me when i don't know 100% what they say.

Russian or Estonian, both of which are because I frequently listen to lots of music t

Me too!

[–] tiredofsametab@fedia.io 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

If you learn French, you will already be able to read and understand some bits of Spanish and can learn it without a ton of effort. A bit harder the other way around.

[–] Witchfire@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

Spanish helps learning French more than it helps reading French, from experience

[–] TheGiantKorean@lemmy.today 5 points 2 days ago

Probably either Latin or Gaelic. Both just sound neat.

[–] RobotToaster@mander.xyz 8 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Whatever the Voynich manuscript is written in.

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[–] JoeKrogan@lemmy.world 8 points 2 days ago
[–] mycodesucks@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago

Whatever language the Voynich manuscript is written in.

[–] Apeman42@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Well I probably can't say Klingon, too many goddamn nerds around here. How about Welsh? It'd be fun to go gargle at the locals in Cardiff about Doctor Who filming if I ever visit the UK.

[–] CelloMike@lemmy.world 8 points 2 days ago

-Were at war with their neighbours for centuries

-Language containing many chhhhh sounds

-Lots of singing

The Welsh are Klingons

[–] droning_in_my_ears@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

I'd travel out of Germany then choose German then travel back.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] sbeak@sopuli.xyz 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Are there really no dogs in the area?

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 3 points 2 days ago

There are, but they all speak cat.

[–] TomMasz@piefed.social 4 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

My son-in-law is learning Finnish. That's on top of the English and German (Army brat) he already knows. As for me, I know Spanish and some German, and while Finnish would certainly qualify as a "nobody speaks" candidate, I'd go for Dutch. I've been to the Netherlands a couple of times, and it seems like a fun one to learn. There's no Dutch community locally that I'm aware of.

[–] tiredofsametab@fedia.io 2 points 1 day ago

Never too late to start. If you already know English and some German, Dutch should be even easier than it already is.

[–] tiredofsametab@fedia.io 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Norwegian. I'm already working on it, but magic would be nice

[–] sbeak@sopuli.xyz 2 points 2 days ago

Magic is always good

[–] Libb@piefed.social 4 points 2 days ago

I live in a large city, I reckon most languages must be spoken by at least a few people around me. Not even considering so-called dead languages.

That being said, I would love to learn Chinese. I think I'll see next year if I can enroll in one of the few courses available in said large city (Paris). I've just started learning Russian something which, I imagine in our so incredibly nuanced times, coupled with me also wanting to learn Chinese, will make me quite suspicious. That's fine ;)

[–] Pirtatogna@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago
[–] rockmeat@feddit.org 1 points 1 day ago

Ithkuil! For the sheer information density and the bragging rights of being fluent in a language not even its creator can speak

[–] bdonvr@thelemmy.club 4 points 2 days ago

I have spent a few years learning Spanish, and that's something I use pretty much every day. I can understand it almost as well as English, but my speaking lags much further behind.

I would like to learn Mandarin, but unlike Spanish there is pretty much absolutely zero relation between English and Mandarin. And because I wouldn't use it nearly as much unless I forced it, I'm sure I could spend over a decade studying it as hard as I have Spanish and be worse at it. So Mandarin is my answer.

[–] Deestan@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago

Lojban!

If someone else turned out to understand me after all, we'd be immediate besties

[–] hayvan@piefed.world 4 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Learning Mandarin would make me the most valuable guy dealing with Chinese and Taiwanese chip vendors.

[–] Nemo@midwest.social 3 points 2 days ago

Lakota:

  • Help preserve an endangered language

  • I've always wanted to learn it

  • Useful when I go back home

  • and frankly, it's probably the only language I'd want to learn without a community of native speakers in Chicago

[–] MrsDoyle@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 days ago

Hungarian, so I could have a good conversation with my lovely stepfather, whose English isn't great.

Cantonese and/or Mandarin for chat with Chinese friends and relatives.

What I really want though is a babel fish - you put it in your ear and it acts as a universal translator. Any language, Earth or alien.

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