Sugar-free Jagerbombs
this post was submitted on 05 Feb 2026
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Quality time with underage ladies?
children
I remember Steve-O telling a story about partying with Kid Rock. Dude dumped out a mountain of cocaine on a grand piano and said "we'll just chip away at it".
I'm guessing this meeting went along those lines.
What, you fucking hate hospitality now?
sprinting with a reciprocating saw in one hand, a catalytic converter in the other.
How do so many rock stars look like they would fit outside an Alabama 7-eleven?
Justin Beiber, for instance. He looks like he got this suit at Goodwill
I didn't know Beiber was so tiny that he could get photographed next to a GPU like this.
Thx for the laugh 😄
so absurd lmao
What exactly is wrong with this suit, besides the fact that anyone is expected to wear one, ever?
Justin Beiber
Bei- sounds very different from Bie- but somehow this seems to be a typical struggle with German names in North America.
I wish he was called Biber. That would mean beaver.
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his goddamn TV too high havin' ass
You don't know how high his couch is. That shit has its own ladder.
The real healthy habit is always in the comments.
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Fake plants too.
its fine if you want to watch tv while cooking in the (meth) kitchen what looks like its across the room from the tv.
ok it's still way too high for even that goddam tv too high havin ass could put an entire goddam tv under it and still fuckin tv
Of course Kid Rock would mount a TV above the fireplace.
Looks like it's an old pedophilic rock next to some melted cheese.
RFK looks like he forgot to take the last person's skin out of those clothes before he put them on.
Kid rock looks like -- well let's be real, that's the first book he's ever held.
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This timeline is post-satire. I wouldn't be surprised if The Onion considered closing shop lately
That's Kid Rock now? What the fuck he turned into Jeff Foxworthy.
That's who I thought it was before reading
Kid Rock shows off his entire library alongside RFK Jr.
RFK is looking up to Kid Rocks "healthy" habits.
RFK is looking up to Kid Rocks "healthy" habits.
I'm calling in a welfare check on everyone who works for The Onion.
his home is a midscale restaurant pretending to be fancy?
Of all the ways to hold a book that is definitely one of the ones that says you are illiterate.
My health tip is remove plastics from your kitchen as heating, cooling, flexing, even gentle abrasion puts microplastics all over the surfaces and your food.
Then get rid of all your clothing, sheets, etc that are made of plastic fibers (polyester, nylon, acrylic) as every time you move or wash them it geterates microplastics for you to inhale or otherwise consume and live amongst.
Surprising advantages include feeling a comfortable temperature as organic fibers are far better for regulating temperature and moisture, less skin irritation, infections and acne too.
I'm very sure that future generations are going to look at the way we use plastic currently the same way we look back at how asbestos and lead were used last century, but much, much bigger in scale and consequence.
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You might be a pedo if you hangout with RFKj
Well you definitely are a pedo if you hang out with kid rock soo
Edit: wait are you calling him Jeff Foxworthy? Lmao
I've heard that Kid Rock's habits are "mandatory".
(If you get that, I'm very sorry.)
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Drinking menstrual blood from underage girls.
Washing his hands after brushing his hair. Cleaning the top of his natty ice before chugging. Disposing of his scabs in a proper container. Bleaching his wifebeaters weekly. Flossing after every cigarette.
I bet they both got enough protein from each other...suck that protein buddy...harder B!!!!!
Meth-laced newports and Natty Ice?
Man RFK sure likes hanging out with pedophiles...
What I love about Kennedy is his complete lack of ability to hide his disgust, even for a single photograph.
That TV with dead rams on each side of it is what Kid Rock yells at when he is watching Fox and hears about bud light controversies.
Dolt Suck? (He's not a kid and he does not rock.)
Afaik Kid Rock doesn't have a brainworm.
It's very "My name is Prince Andrew and I cannot sweat"
RFK's "brainworm" was just an excuse to pay less alimony to his ex-wife, because he claimed that it reduced the income he could make.
The only proof of the worm is RFK saying that it existed, but he claims that his brain fixed itself two years later, and he's all better.
His ex-wife he died by way of suicide by then, so he no longer needed to claim that he had reduced capacity in order to pay her less.
If you read the book "Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. and the Dark Side of the Dream" it outlines how he was cheating on his ex-wife, sexually assaulting the babysitter, and would often tell his ex-wife that she should kill herself.
It would be better if he did actually have a brainworm, but it's more likely that he's just the kind of monster that would become part of Trump's circle.
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The jury is still out on that
Kid Rock is a well known coke head
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