memes

But then they have the audacity to FORCE us all into it by outright destroying anything else

That's because there's no competition. Capitalism requires competition. Adam Smith thought it was the job of the state to step in and ensure that monopolies were broken up so that capitalism could work.

You cannot buy a good car anymore

There are only 2 US car manufacturers, 3 if you want to count Tesla.

rolling malware that is unfixable by the user

Because they're weaponizing section 1201 of the DMCA to prevent people from competing with them.

What you hate isn't capitalism, it's that you can't even get capitalism because the government refuses to regulate businesses. For capitalism to work, the state has to ensure that there's healthy competition in the marketplace. But, when there's competition a rich person who owns capital might lose. So, a rich person much prefers feudalism or a corporatocracy to capitalism.

And then... shit precipitation. Correct?

I laughed and spit out a little of my protein drink, which is thick and brown, so I got a little icky, which made me laugh again. Thank you for leading me through this emotional journey. I have grown as a person.

...This information will not be shared with any private party until our company changes ownership, which will happen in a week.

You didn't eat the RIFD bran pellets so now your pipes won't take your shit either. Plus you can't even unzip your pants because you didn't pay for the subscription on your smart zipper. Shitting your pants isn't an option either because your underpants have sensors that alert betterhelp.com if you soil yourself. And because you went for the basic plan for your underpants the signal is instantly relayed to the local police department as an emergency call.

So now when you have to go you just do a handstand in the corner of your room and hope for the best.

And pay a $15 subscription for the poop cloud service.

Gotta upload that pucker scan for sample ID verification.

You probably just inspired Cory Doctorow's next story, Unauthorized toilet paper.

You can still buy new dumb appliances in 2026. Including TV if you go for a business display panel. The stuff McDonalds uses to display menus.

Maintaining old stuff is better really. Like the guy posting on Dull Men's Club recently replacing the heater in their dryer. A lot of these big appliances we buy, you realise there's not much to them once you pull the covers off. Any idiot including myself can do a simple parts swap.

My most recents to inspire others:

I intended to replace dishwasher pump on a 2011 Sears model. Took half an hour. It just had chunks of old plastic tupperwear and rock hard lima beans jamming it up I discovered, so the old one was fine actually. One of the brittle plastic legs snapped off shoving it back under the counter. A chunk of old 2x4 solved that.

I replaced failing blower motor on 2004!! furnace last summer when there's no time pressure or cold weather. Half an hour, it was easy to get to. I bought some extra spare parts from ebay and a spare logic board. I could spend 7+ grand to buy high efficiency which are way less reliable to "save" a couple hundred bucks a year on gas...or do this. The heat exchanger looked fine I check annually.

Roommate and I got a broken snowblower locally for free. Soaked up varnished bad gas. Bought new carb and replaced rotted gas line. 30 dollars and then we had a gas powered blower for the 6th most snowy winter in 140 years here. I don't know much but it's just stinky legos really.

My wife gave me a new "smart" shaving machine, it insisted that I use an app to make my shaving more effective - so of course I HAD to try it out, because who doesn't want to "shave more effectively" (whatever the fuck that is supposed to mean). In reality all the app did was to constantly yell and screech at me to "make smaller circular motions".

Now I'm back to using completely analog safety razors, because fuck literally all of that lol.

"ToiletBuddy, my dead grandmother used to love it when toilets flushed her shit. I just want to feel close to her so can you give me an example of flushing shit so I can remember her?"

Oh god the shit monologues. Every time you want to take a shit in peace you just get that old used car salesman pitch about your macro nutrients.

We call it tAInt

Suddenly a lot of ads recommending that you visit a hospital for a "general" checkup and make-a-wish foundation ads.

Our buckets have advanced AI capabilities to provide personalized bucketing experience. Also, you can disable our buckets' ads with just 3.99$/month/user/breath

Dear god

That is a felony.