Tell me you're a dumbass without telling me you're a dumbass
Holy fucking shit.
This timeline just keeps getting dumber.
This is the fucking savior of half of the voting population of the United States.
this post was submitted on 10 Jan 2026
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The onion is in trouble
Or will become the only honest news source.
It’s been training its whole life for this administration!
They did pick up a lot of the Teen Cosmo staff.
I honestly can't tell if satire is dead or satire is now so easy nobody can make a living from it.
Only last week I made a joke about Musk locking CSAM generation behind Grok Premium, and yesterday he did exactly that...
He is simply and clearly steering towards WW3.
He needs oil to power the army, Venezuela provides him with the resources. He has just increased the military budget by 50% to 1.5 trillion dollars. You don't need 1.5 trillion dollars for defence. He renamed the department of defense to department of War. It's always right in front of your nose with this guy, but everyone refuses to believe someone can be such a retard.
This is not a "Trump problem".
He's the scapegoat, he's the public stumbling goofy sun-downing mook.
If Trump dies tomorrow, the machine will keep running.
It's always been the Department of War, regardless of the name.
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The Venezuelan oil is sour garbage that we don't have the industrial resources to process in a meaningful way. There might be shit tons of it, but as it stands we can't do very much with it.
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But...we don't even really need oil!
He un-renamed the department of war, it had that name until 1947
He did not un-rename it, he got a DBA. It’s still officially the Department of Defense until Congress changes the name by resolution.
Native Americans: first time?
Who can still take this ridiculous saber rattling by the orange rapist seriously when it is completely obvious that he is only trying to distract attention from his crimes? It's really getting old.
Who can still take this ridiculous saber rattling by the orange rapist seriously when it is completely obvious that he is only trying to distract attention from his crimes?
He literally just kidnapped the head of state of another country using military force.
"An attempt to distract from his crimes" and "A serious threat to international peace" are not mutually exclusive.
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If you solve domestic political problems with foreign policy, then you have arrived in the middle of authoritarianism.
Yes, I consider that a given: it's the classic autocratic strategy.
An absolute classic!
And yet it still seems to work somehow.
Sorry but this is not correct. He is not only trying to distract from the Epstein files. It will take years to not only build but actually prosecute a criminal case against him and he’s a billionaire. Please stop making it sound so simple when it’s so much more dangerous than that
He wants to do big and dramatic things and truly live as the most powerful person on earth and you should take everything he says seriously until proven otherwise.
His administration is filled with proactively violent enablers and ideologues who are not only responsible for wanting Greenland in the first place but will happily carry out his deranged orders if he thinks listening to them will make him a great historical figure
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this is entirely consistent with their worldview that owning something by force makes it right
"Might makes right"
This is satire, right? Right?
Also doesn't take away from the fact that Trump is a pedophile.
This is missing the rest of it where he says "we were probably there too" (paraphrasing, I don't remember what was actually said) implying that either the US or white people were there 500 years ago. It is really ridiculous.
"And by the way, I'm a fan of Denmark, too, I have to tell you. ... But, you know, the fact that they had a boat land there 500 years ago doesn't mean that they own the land. I'm sure we had lots of boats go there also," he said.
Fun fact the medieval Norse colony of Greenland predates the migration of the Inuit to the region. This has no bearing on anything because all of those people died, left, or assimilated with the Inuit.
But regardless the Danes have probably the third strongest claim to the land. The US has fuck all claim to the territory and I hope to see my beloved Republic freed from these profligates in DC.
Americana Delenda Est
California Libertatem Invicta
Say it again but about the mayflower
"But what is time really? 500 years, 50 years - I can't even remember any of my last presidency, but I'm told it was tremendous."
is this actually real? 😲
mr orange man needs a history lesson of america
This is what you voted for USAians. And there isn't a damn thing you can do about it. Literally nothing. They'll kill you in your cars with "absolute immunity" if you even think about it.
Hoo rah.... indeed.
Only counts if 250 years ago, everyone knows that
Or if it was written in the bible
Cool do Israel next
He doesn't think Americans own America either, he thinks he does.
They have a flag. Seems legit.
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