this post was submitted on 24 Nov 2025
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Microblog Memes

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[–] RobertoOberto@sh.itjust.works 112 points 11 hours ago (3 children)
[–] AnarchistArtificer@slrpnk.net 22 points 6 hours ago

I'm pretty open about the fact that I have autism, and there have been a few times when I have used the strategy in these tweets, but adding the invocation of my autism.

When I ask them to explain why it's funny, they will often try to deflect the conversation at first, because they're uncomfortable at being challenged. I can then double down on asking them to explain the joke, being all apologetic and saying that jokes often go over my head because I'm autistic. That makes it much harder to deflect, especially because I'm super good at appearing earnest when I'm asking this, so it manoeuvres the joke-teller into a no-win situation, where they either explain the joke, and look like an asshole, or they don't explain it, and they still look like an asshole.

Then when they do eventually explain it, I am good at making my face fall in disappointment, before saying "oh, that's not a very funny joke". It gives me a great deal of satisfaction because there are many people who believe that autistic people are incapable of lying or acting, when in fact, being autistic means I've spent my entire life learning how to put on a performance for the outer world.

[–] SaharaMaleikuhm@feddit.org 44 points 11 hours ago

Important context. Thanks

[–] falseWhite@programming.dev 9 points 11 hours ago (2 children)

So did she learn it herself, as per her first comment.

Or did her dad teach her this, as per her second comment?

Make up your mind!

Good advice, but obviously sprinkled with bs.

Also, posting the first comment would have avoided ALL of the confusion people are having about "not laughing at jokes".

[–] dogs0n@sh.itjust.works 33 points 11 hours ago

It sounds like her dad taught her the general advice, but she learned (herself) through using the advice that specifically sexual harassers stop laughing when you ask why their "jokes" are funny.

So both can be true as I'm understanding/reading it.

[–] IMALlama@lemmy.world 5 points 10 hours ago

I can tell my kids whatever I want. They generally trust me, but will retain some level of skepticism until they discover that my advice is valid. In this case her Dad may have suggested, "try x" but she didn't realize how effective the approach would be until she used it once.

[–] Aussiemandeus@aussie.zone 31 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

The number of people not understanding this is wild to me

[–] snooggums@piefed.world 11 points 11 hours ago

It took me a couple readings to catch the nervous laughter part since it isn't something I do myself.

[–] abfarid@startrek.website 72 points 18 hours ago (1 children)
[–] LodeMike@lemmy.today 98 points 18 hours ago (1 children)
[–] Deceptichum@quokk.au 26 points 17 hours ago (2 children)
[–] HonoraryMancunian@lemmy.world 50 points 17 hours ago (1 children)
[–] FinalRemix@lemmy.world 20 points 13 hours ago

Stop complying!

[–] Numuruzero@lemmy.dbzer0.com 29 points 17 hours ago (6 children)

Imagine someone is trying to be friendly with you, but in a manipulative way - they make a joke about your appearance, or maybe even just an assumption they have about you simply from stereotyping. Perhaps it's something you don't agree with, are sensitive about, or is just downright untrue. But it's a minor slight among a litany of other conversation, and is it really worth a confrontation?

This, then, is the question: do you laugh it off and move on? Do you directly refute or rebuke them? Or do you just act like you don't even know what they're talking about and force them to go down the rabbit hole of self-examination to explain why their joke was funny?

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[–] BananaTrifleViolin@lemmy.world 31 points 16 hours ago* (last edited 16 hours ago) (1 children)

Without any context this just comes across as psychotic advice.

Maybe it's advice for a comedy career. Never laugh at any jokes, just feign ignorance and get the jok teller to explain. Then you learn the art of comedy and joke design, and you will have the tools to write your own comedy set. Thanks dad!

[–] TheBat@lemmy.world 25 points 12 hours ago

I think I remember context for this.

Her ex-boss said to her that she should work as phone sex operator and laughed. She didn't and kept pressing what's funny about that.

So the context is bigotry masked as joke.

[–] capuccino@lemmy.world 2 points 9 hours ago* (last edited 9 hours ago) (1 children)

This is me:

The other person: I don't get it.

Me: lol then you will not.

The other person: Explain me, I wanna laugh.

Me: no, your get it or not. Explaining a joke ruins the joke. Sorry for you.

It happened to me before with people that wants to ruin the mood. Just do not explain a shit, because a joke must not be explained never, it's a joke, no a scientific paper. There is people that don't get sarcasm, that a special trait, because sarcasm aren't jokes.

[–] capuccino@lemmy.world 1 points 2 hours ago

This grinded my gears xD To people disliking, if you find a joke racist, ableist, sexist, etc. Have the guts to point it and say "hey, that's wrong" and do not try to be passive agressive. It grinded my gears because I believe in humor as the last frontier of liberty. If we can't laugh, we can't do shit. Maybe I can do racist, ableist or sexist joke. Bro, tell me, so I can stop make them and find another ways to make jokes along you. The only I get with this is that you aren't a funny person.

[–] MourningDove@lemmy.zip 35 points 17 hours ago (1 children)
[–] snooggums@piefed.world 21 points 11 hours ago

Derogatory/sexist/racist/other shitty jokes. A lot of people nervously laugh to avoid confrontation.

[–] DagwoodIII@piefed.social 7 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

"Sorry, I made a joke. I see you're having a problem figuring it out. Guess I overestimated how smart you are. Let's move on."

[–] Randelung@lemmy.world 11 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

"Then help me please, I want to participate, too!"

[–] DagwoodIII@piefed.social 11 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

"I have the feeling you've been asking people to speak slowly and explain things for a very long time. I guess I overestimated you."

I'm very good at being condescending. That means acting like I'm better than other people.

[jk]

[–] AnarchistArtificer@slrpnk.net 1 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

Tbf, I'd rather appear dumb than a condescending asshole. Don't get me wrong, there are definitely times when condescension is an effective approach to challenging assholes in conversation, but if the person using condescension was the same person who made an offensive joke, then I feel like that would just be digging themselves deeper.

Like, if someone is open about being slow to understanding stuff, and says something like "yes, I often do ask people to explain things when I don't understand them. It usually doesn't pose a problem", then that negates a bunch of the power of the condescension

[–] DagwoodIII@piefed.social 2 points 6 hours ago

Here's the way I see it; you've got two kinds of assholes. Amateurs and professionals. The amateur is the dumb Boomer who is still making jokes that were funny in 1987. That person might be stilled by the dumb approach.

I gave the professional's answer; a professional has thought about what they are going to say and has a few zingers in the bag.

The way to deal with a pro is to wait until they've over extended themselves, and then strike hard and fast.

Here's a true story. I was transferred to a different department and was still getting my bearings. There was one fellow who was senior to me who considered himself a great wit. I let him run his mouth for a while. He happened to like laying all the way back in his chair, setting it almost flat like he was laying on the beach. I happened by while he had some folks near him and he started in. I asked why he had his seat back like that? Was he waiting for someone to rub their b#lls in his face?

Guy never bothered me again.

The lesson is know who you're dealing with, and use the proper approach.

[–] MotoAsh@piefed.social 39 points 18 hours ago (2 children)

Who is "they" and why do they want me to laugh and why would it be nervous?

[–] rockSlayer@lemmy.blahaj.zone 67 points 18 hours ago

Racist/sexist/ableist/etc humor.

[–] cv_octavio@piefed.ca 20 points 18 hours ago (2 children)

It's a way to make those who are trying not to say the quiet parts loud come right on out and say them. Amazing way to make a bigot squirm, though personally, I prefer alligator clips and a 1000 volt DC source.

[–] MotoAsh@piefed.social 1 points 5 hours ago* (last edited 5 hours ago)

So then the context is distasteful, ignorant, or bigoted jokes and not simply anyone trying to make you laugh?

[–] papalonian@lemmy.world 18 points 18 hours ago (4 children)

DC is ass for electrocuting people, if you're gonna be an edge lord do it right.

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[–] vrek@programming.dev 32 points 18 hours ago (4 children)

How has her dad "just told me" but she "used it for rest of my life ever since"?

[–] ideonek@piefed.social 15 points 14 hours ago

"just" as "nothing more than [...]" - it was not much. "Just" a sentence or two. But it was enought.

[–] CentipedeFarrier@piefed.social 31 points 18 hours ago

I assume there’s context missing since it says “replying to”

So I assume they meant something like “my dad only told me xyz” or like “wow that’s nuts, my dad just said xyz, not all that” or something roughly along those lines.

[–] njm1314@lemmy.world 14 points 16 hours ago* (last edited 16 hours ago) (1 children)

The word "just" doesn't only refer to time.

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