this post was submitted on 24 Nov 2025
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Imagine someone is trying to be friendly with you, but in a manipulative way - they make a joke about your appearance, or maybe even just an assumption they have about you simply from stereotyping. Perhaps it's something you don't agree with, are sensitive about, or is just downright untrue. But it's a minor slight among a litany of other conversation, and is it really worth a confrontation?
This, then, is the question: do you laugh it off and move on? Do you directly refute or rebuke them? Or do you just act like you don't even know what they're talking about and force them to go down the rabbit hole of self-examination to explain why their joke was funny?
I'm not sure I follow - what's the funny part?
Like when a bloke says the missus better have dinner on the table when i get home or else.
People laugh at the implied domestic violence.
Instead don't
(my comment was a joke - I'm asking you to explain as suggested in the OP, I think the person above me was being sarcastic too)
Or, maybe rather than a threat or an implication, it's a vent for what a toxic upbringing many of us had.
If someone makes a comment like that as an intentional dark joke, not actually accepting the misogyny implied, one would likely be much more willing to explain that their joke was satire and clarify that they do not subscribe to that belief, I would think. Perhaps this person just poorly chose their audience for their joke.
I think it is the misogynist who would theoretically have a hard time explaining the joke without outing themself.
That said, I don’t know how often a bigot would be necessarily off put by this strategy since they probably think that their bigotry is justified.
You're right, maybe I don't find this to be a problem because I've already filtered out misogynists from my life long ago.