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Yeah being an "ally" isn't enough. People need to be subjected a purity tests too because that's been a super successful strategy so far!
Seriously, if someone isn't super comfortable with gay people but they overcome those feelings and support gay rights, just take the win.
But how will I tone police them if I don't tone police them?
I used to get accusations of being gay a lot because I had a lot of friends that happened to be women and I didn't constantly sexually harass them or whatever.
I physically can not be gay. I instinctively chew anything that is in my mouth for more than ten seconds.
Fucking hamsters writing comments on Lemmy
Exposing people's insecurities is not a test of allyship.
I agree.
It may undermine a person's self-image without indicating they think any differently about other people's sexual interests or perhaps even their own.
Why is this okay because they are straight? Imagine saying you thought your Trans friend was a man, when they are trying to present as a woman.
These kind of tests are so toxic, and serve nothing but to spark an argument and hurt feelings.
You are part of the problem.
there’s a lot more to what it means to be perceived as gay in this society than just that person, personally hating gay people.
i had someone say that to me and i’m just extremely self conscious so i was just trying to figure out why….
was it my tone of voice? mannerisms?
all these penises in my mouth?
Is that why women are seldom romantically interested in me? Do they all think i’m gay? is that the key to my loneliness? (probably just the ugly part).
if you tell someone, “oh i figured you like country music” and they don’t, they’re going to wonder why.
and i don’t know if they stopped, but kids used to be pretty mean calling people gay… it can be kind of a “touching on childhood trauma” thing.
my advice: don’t “trick” people with clever “tests” and try to be genuine with your friends. If you’re gay and you have straight friends, those friends probably aren’t the problem even if they have a problem with being misidentified as gay.
my advice: don’t “trick” people with clever “tests” and try to be genuine with your friends.
That's was my reaction to reading this, it's like shittestting in a relationship. YOU are the asshole if you do that. You're also an asshole if you think your straight friends would react like that. You're also terrible at picking your friends.
This post is basically saying "your straight friends aren't actually your friends, this is how you can prove it"
I'm a straight guy. I don't wish I was gay, but being bi would be pretty cool. Twice the options.
sadly it still equals zero
As they say, 2 x 0 = 0
As a cis male, I support women 100%. I would not want someone to think I am one. This is a shitty and childish way to alienate supporters.
EDIT: the irony that people are actually telling me I’m the one that has the problem for saying I’d correct someone if they said I was something I am not is god damned delicious!
I feel like this is more of a test for confidence than for supportiveness.
I used to work at a tech repair shop right next to a big lbgtq hub in my city and there'd be gays guys in there a couple times a day who thought I was gay. Never once did I find it offensive, everyone in there always had the best outfits that look like they had a professional stylist, the most clear skin I've ever seen and the confidence of an alligator in a chicken coop. I know that's kind of a stereotype but that's exactly what it was and I would love getting lumped in with the group.
The tips there we're a lot better than the other spots in the city too, no fights, the store only got robbed once in the 3 years I worked there and the customers weren't dickheads who'd walk in, throw their broken phone on the counter (breaking it more) and say "fix this" without saying another word. It really was a decent spot to work.
I don't think that would be my reaction as a straight man, but I could see why some people could be upset by others thinking that they were gay. It means you are not projecting the kind of appearance and energy you are trying to. It's like telling a trans man "oh when we first met I thought you were a woman." Maybe they can laugh that off but it probably stings still. It doesn't mean they think being a woman is inferior to being a man.
Yeah, this kinda feels similar to the whole "you can't be racist against white people/sexist against men" that tries to turn it into a cycle of revenge rather than bring anyone together.
It seems just like false flag division tactics. On the surface it seems like a good point, but you peel it back a bit and see it's more likely to just drive away people who might otherwise be on your side for not being "supportive enough".
There's more to it than that, being gay 30 years ago was enough to ruin your career - even if there wasn't any proof. This is where the term "metrosexual" came from in the 2000s. Being gay was so bad that men came up with a word that meant "I'm straight but I like to shower and dress nicely."
So if you're a Millennial or older, odds are that you still carry the scars from that stigma to some extent, even if you're an ally. When I was a kid, calling something gay was the worst you could get without swearing.
My brothers friend came out to his group, and apparently one of them just went "gayyyyy" and they had a laugh and that was that.
I mean yes but no. I think a lot of gay people would also react poorly if you called them straight and thats why you shouldnt.
I'd say "because I'm stylish and I work out?" (Context: I'm fat and wear jeans and graphic tees year round)
Chat, is it healthy to guilt and purity test your striaght friends because they're straight?
"A good LGBT ally knows that straight men are the only people it's okay to misgender."
A lot of people thought I was gay my answer was always "Yeah, I get that a lot, not sure why though."
I mean guys are socially conditioned to feel inferior and less worthwhile as men for that kind of thing, I try not to hold it against folks as long as they're kind and choose to act in support
It takes some people a looong time to unlearn that internalized rubric. Sometimes it even takes gay guys a long time to unlearn it
A gay dude hit on me and I was super flattered. I told him that he looked good too without saying "No Homo"