1) Be nice and; have fun
Doxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them
2) All posts must end with a '?'
This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?
3) No spam
Please do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.
4) NSFW is okay, within reason
Just remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com.
NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].
5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions.
If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.
6) No US Politics.
Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world or !askusa@discuss.online
Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.
Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu
There was research which showed that when women make up a third of a group, both men and women tend to think the numbers are even. More than a third = more women than men.
Not just presence either. If women in group settings collectively speak for more than 30% of the time, both men and women feel like women are dominating the conversation.
That they're inherently different in some way and not just the same basic animal with some fuzzy fiddling on steroid levels.
they aren't inherently different.
but they behave and process reality in different ways. mostly due to socialization.
and trying to convince them they aren't radically different, once they are adults, is pretty impossible. each sex/gender assumes they are the default/only way to do this 'right' and the other is inherently flawed.
This is heartbreaking as a trans woman. I remember living as a man. It was hard in a lot of ways. Then I learned how women have it hard. I can still have empathy for men. I walked in their shoes as a younger person.
I think the weirder thing is how many stereotypes are true. Oftentimes like people actively embrace shitty stereotypes. I don't get that part of life, but i certainly encounter it a lot. Especially around gender dominated activities. Like I tried to learn knitting one winter and I basically was told to fuck off because it was all women who wanted to gossip about shitty men are and me being a man in that group prevented that... so they hated me.
I find the same thing in any exclusionary activity/group. I am a cyclist and most cyclists are major dicks towards other people who aren't their type of cyclist. It's weird. Sort of like the Linux superiority complex you see on lemmy.
"locker room talk"
Most of my friends and I are pretty traditionally "manly" men. The kinds of guys you turn to if you need to build something, fix something, need to cut down a tree, want to drink beer and smoke cigars, shoot guns (not after drinking the beer,) go fishing (beer is ok for that,) etc.
I have basically no clue what's going on in any of their sex lives. We never really comment on women's appearances, and when we do it's kept to just a very quick observation, "man, she's hot" kind of thing.
Damn near any time some sort of sex talk comes up it's our female friends stoking the fires.
I'm pretty sure my wife and her friends talk more about sex in an afternoon than I have in my whole lifetime.
Maybe it's because we very rarely find ourselves in a locker room, most of aren't exactly the gym or team sports type.
it's projection.
projection of a undesirable thing onto the other group makes it justified for your group to do it, even though you know it's wrong.
hence why liars will tell you that everyone is lying all the time and anyone who doesn't lie is stupid/naive.
(my exes were liars)
I hear the phrase "locker room talk" and I think of middle school and high school locker rooms, where a bunch of pubescent boys with raging hormones and undeveloped prefrontal cortices try to impress one another or otherwise fit in socially.
Most grow out of this, I think. But then, like you, I don't hang out in locker rooms anymore, as I am not forced to.
Honestly, even when I was in middle and high school (so we're going back around 20 years now) I don't remember a whole lot of that
The main topics of conversation I remember were sports, video games, music, movies, TV, weed if you were a stoner, vacations, parties, and other plans you had and things you'd done recently, etc.
Pretty much the same shit I'd talk about now.
My personal experiences of course may not be representative of everyone, and like I said, it's been about 20 years so it's very possible my memory is faulty.
This exactly. Good lord, women talk about sex in EXCRUCIATING detail apparently. My dude friends and I don't even really touch on the subject but I've specifically asked a couple of my close women friends about this and they talk about EVERYTHING. Like, size, shape, positions, times, noises, it was...enlightening. And uncomfortable. This is obviously anecdotal and could just be this one group of friends of mine are super open and horny, but they said it's pretty common.
I agree.
Most of my jobs have been mostly male and I can count on one hand the number of guys I worked with who tried to chat up women while we were working.
In the locker room it was almost never about sex.
It was actually a plot point on Friends once. Ross got upset that Rachel told Phoebe about his princess Leia sex fantasy. Ross and Chandler were surprised women talk to each other about sex.
most sitcom plot points are based in crude ignorant stereotypes that reinforce people's popular biases and don't require the audience to ever think, but be coddled by the familiar tropes they have grown up with.
if they challenged those lazy preconceptions people would not enjoy the show. like if you had a show with women were sex horn dogs and men were sensitive relationship seekers, it would not go over well with a general audience, unless it was a whacky comedy.
I dislike that The Big Bang Theory gives the impression it's extremely rare for women to be pop culture nerds. I'm a woman who loves marvel movies and Star Wars and Star Trek and hope to one day find a boyfriend who likes those things too
m a woman who loves marvel movies and Star Wars and Star Trek and hope to one day find a boyfriend who likes those things too
What ? I thought this was like 80% of guys ? Am an older guy but have no idea really, just assumption.
As a teen I lapped Maarvel comics, so its interesting to see much of the lore and legend played out decades laternandnlots of shark jumping now. Though.
Big Bang Theory is stuck in some '90s ideas of nerds.
Back then, people would joke that guys would never find a girlfriend while playing DnD. Now I have a pair of friends who got married and originally bonded as part of our DnD group, and that seems completely normal.
I often talk to people who call themselves nerds, and what they mean is that they like marvel movies. Like the biggest most seen movie franchise that is out there. Star wars has gained almost as much traction, it just flopped hard and harder. I'm not here to gatekeep, but when someone tells me they are a nerd because they watch marvel movies, then we probably need a new term.
Back in the 80s we called ourselves nerds if we were in math, science or computing.
yeah or harry potter.
they are just casual consumers of popular media franchises.
but start getting detailed about things and they will be socially turned off.
I think there is a difference between casually watching marvel movies and a fan like me who regularly watches them over again and marathons them in preparation for the next one. For example, in preparation for Thor 4, I rewatched all of the Thor and Avengers movies.
that's not any different than people who watch the office over and over.
you're a superfan of the movies. but you're not reading every comic religiously, going to every con, etc.
All of those things are main stream now though, aren't they? Those are all super popular nowadays, everyone and their grandma are marvel fans it seems like, it's rarer to find someone who ISN'T a Marvel fan. Big bang theory is just out of touch and relying on old stereotypes. But women are just as nerdy/geeky/whatever you want to call it as men I've always found, they're just more hesitant to show it off or geek out about it in public for fear of getting those really creepy gatekeeping dudes coming up and "well akschually unless you can name the tree used in the brand of paper used in the original printing of Deadpool number 42 you're not a real fan". Have seen shit like that happen to women friends of mine in public who were WAY more into comics and more knowledgable about all that than I was unfortunately.
the differentiation is who reads the comics. the source material.
It is rare. I've had dozens of women partners and only one was ever a nerd. the vast majority of women are not nerds and male nerdiness in the general population is frowned upon. almost every woman i have ever met my entire life also looks down on 'nerdy' things.
on internet forums, yes, it's more highly represented. most women nerds i've ever known were from internet forums/groups.
"all men are the same"
nah girl, you're shit and attract shit men
no no, you don't understand. it's that men lack emotional intelligence and all need therapy.
if they all got more EQ and went to therapy then they'd be able to read my mind and submit themselves to my emotional tantrums. because the only good men are the ones who serve me. they'd also be rich, tall, and handsome.
That the woman’s bathroom is cleaner and men’s bathroom is disgusting
This is both true and false simultaneously depending on the location 🤷♀️
Having worked in social services, I can tell you that women's bathrooms are grotesquely worse than men's. By a degree that is almost incomprehensible to the untrained.
I've seen some nasty shit cleaning men's bathrooms. I've seen some incomprehensible shit cleaning women's bathrooms.
Me working retail, after a bathroom issue was reported in the women's room: "How did it get on the ceiling?!"
My first job was in the custodian arts. Mostly offices and churches. The women's bathrooms were always disgusting. Sure men will splash pee on the floor, but I never had to dig used period pads out of the toilet in a mens room.
All men think about sex and nothing else...
Or that women don’t
Men can grill. There’s a lot of fools out there that don’t know how to BBQ proper.
Just watch how many try to "start" a campfire by using gasoline. Which tends to eat all the oxygen so nothing else has a chance.
From what I hear, most female slumber parties don't involve tickle fighting in your underwear.
Are you saying Jordan Capri lied to me during a very formative period of my life???
We were all lied to!
Women dont like video games. Its BS.
some women like them.
but in my life experience like 95% of them don't. and like. 70% of them look down on them as childish and stupid and will instantly reject you if they find out you play video games as an adult.
"Men don't communicate." There are multiple modes of communication. If you know, you know.
Men with big trucks = Men with small dicks.
Oh wait. You said obviously false. My bad.
what about men with 80K Electric vehicles?
Women know how to do make-up, and men are shit at it. I had no clue until I started wearing it again at 22y.o. And there will always be men, who know more about make-up than I might ever know.
I'm sure I could still put on a pretty good foundation, white powder, and eyeliner, and then "misc additional black colors".
Source: I've worn corpse paint to many concerts. It's been a while, though.
Women belong in the kitchen and are only good for making babies.
Or that's what misogynists think.
