Lovecraft: "Write that down, write that down!"
this post was submitted on 08 Nov 2025
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Fun fact! This stat block predates the birth of the child in the post!
This is a real stat block? The "it's" typo feels sus.
It's not official, but why does that matter?
I would homebrew this as the result of a failed attempt to create a Dracolich/Drow combo. Find it restrained in a dungeon "lab", long abandoned, but still alive because it's undead.
It sorta looks like somebody kitbashed a new mini and had to invent a stat block for it.
When I have print failures, I try to kitbash failed pieces together into monstrosities. I totally believe this.
That creature looks uncomfortable. Also, it's been a while since I did anything D&D — aren't those stats buffed a whole lot?
A Google search (ai response, so take it with a grain of salt) suggested a 5 person party could take a dragon with 136 hp and 18 a at levels 8-9 comfortably. 7-8 would be hard, 5-6 would be very difficult but possible. Depends on the DM too.
Note I don't play much 5e, and my experience in TTRPGs outside a few single session stuff is mostly one Pathfinder 2e campaign currently at level 6.
Jesus fuck
Thanks, I hate it
That would actually make someone in my table pass out, not even joking
There's too many of these "that happened" posts featuring a child playing a tabletop. They would just be unfunny nonsense if it weren't framed as something a child actually said.
I get the sentiment generally, but that’s exactly how my five year old nephew talks (if I were to edit for brevity, which I appreciate in the relaying of anecdotes about five year olds, lol)
RedWyrm is especially notorious for that. Their child also doesn't age correctly.
To give them the benefit of the doubt, might they simply be telling true stories out of order?
In what way is it unfunny nonsense? Seems like a legit monster to me.
Well, if it sounds like a legit monster, the fact that a 5yo said it wouldn't be relevant, and without it being absurd the post kinda loses all substance. It is held up by the implication that this odd exchange actually happened, which it didn't.
"Imagine if there was a spider dragon with a breath attack of breathing thousands of tiny spiders" just doesn't have the same hook as this exposition.
Huh? You said it would be unfunny nonsense if it wasn’t a child that said it. I’m saying the child has nothing to do with it, it’s a cool monster anyway, it isn’t nonsense.
Now you’re saying that it’s not about being unfunny or nonsense, it’s that it doesn’t “have the same hook”. Which is it? Is it nonsense? Or do you just not like the method of delivery?
Have you actually played a ttrpg? Or really heard any jokes at all? The way a line is delivered matters. Saying “i beat the goblin” is completely different than saying “i sliced through the goblin, cutting it in half, its body flying through the air where i punt it between the masts of the sailboat like a field goal”. They might be the same exact outcome, the same exact scenario, but the delivery makes one more fun than the other.
The spider dragon sounds like a dope-ass monster to fight, and the kid sounds like an awesome GM. You can have the cool monster with your GM. The delivery here allows you to imagine the fun you can have.
Put it another way: ‘“imagine there was a small short green goblin that fights” just doesn’t have the same hook as this expression’. No shit sherlock.
Hebegeebees, +7
Brb making a char sheet of this for my bestiary
5 years old and already an understudy of Satan!
Spider dragonborn or dragon spiderborn?
See, when a spider and a dragon love each other very very much...
That's what the old half-dragon template was for.
Horrible.
Whoever raised his kid is doing it right.
Kid knows what they’re doing.
well fuck… i’m not gonna sleep tonight.
Spider Dragonborn Sorcerer; It's Spider-Man but with Fireball.
This is awesome!
This kid will dream about Bluey and wake up in a cold sweat.
They did that in the newest Vecna campaign I'm running. Was indeed quite terrifying
He went on to write the storyline for blood born and design Rom, the vacuous spider.
Bad AI slop is bad.
Nice!
You wasted a gallon of water for this? Fucking why? Get out of here with this ai slop
Yeah. A gallon of water might not sound like much, but it adds up. If you generate two images a day for a year, it's as bad as eating a whole cheeseburger. Assuming the gallon is accurate and not an exaggeration.
Dude, push the anti-meat shit elsewhere. AI is something that is causing new, extreme damage for literally no benefit. You're not going to convince anyone by attacking other movements.
Also, I'm a vegetarian, go bark up a different tree.
The point isn't being anti-meat, it's perspective. The water consumption of AI is completely negligible compared to literally every other facet of our consumption and really isn't worth using to demonstrate how bad AI is.
AI's consumption of electricity, on the other hand...
It's a tangible example that you can use to demonstrate the absolute waste to someone. Yeah, it's less water waste than electricity waste, but people can't visualize the amount of electricity being used and have that be a concrete thing in their mind. Pouring out a gallon of water is an immediately identifiable thing. And the point is to make people associate the absolute reckless waste with the use of ai.
Pouring out a gallon of water is an immediately identifiable thing
Yes, as in "you can impress people with that", no, as in "it gives any sort of accurate perception"
There are plenty of things that consume orders of magnitude more water than AI. You'll be much better off ecologically by skipping the last few seconds of your shower or eating a tiny slice of meat less every week than by not using these tools.
Besides, many of them can be run on your regular, air-cooled PC.
That's not to say that AI training in general is not an ecological issue - but most of it actually goes in directions other than LLMs and image generation tools, and for models already trained, the footprint is straight up negligible. You likely wasted more energy reading this than getting an AI to make an image for you.
Wait, people can’t visualize the amount of electricity used for something? Oh, right, not everyone is an electrical engineer.
Yeah, but that one bottle is dwarfed by the 600 gallons for one cheeseburger. That's the point I, and the previous poster, are trying to make.
I hear what you're saying, I just disagree on the effectiveness of the image I guess.
This is about 10x worse than just imagining