this post was submitted on 22 Oct 2025
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Programmer Humor

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[–] magic_smoke@lemmy.blahaj.zone 82 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Jokes on her, I've transitioned since last Christmas.

[–] Fisherswamp@programming.dev 81 points 1 month ago (2 children)

You can still bring a girl though

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[–] chellomere@lemmy.world 60 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I am the girl! Hmm, but maybe I'll bring another one too? 🤔

[–] bhamlin@lemmy.world 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago (2 children)

it's yuletide! everyone (except that person. they know what they did) is welcome and celebrated!

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[–] CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org 75 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Who needs a girl when you have monads to keep you warm?

[–] boonhet@sopuli.xyz 18 points 1 month ago

Or become a girl with gonads

[–] tiramichu@sh.itjust.works 60 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

No mom, I'm gonna BE a girl for Christmas. puts on programming socks

[–] Quibblekrust@thelemmy.club 5 points 1 month ago

That's 100% how I read it at first.

[–] Cevilia@lemmy.blahaj.zone 35 points 1 month ago (1 children)

This kind of text hits differently when you're a lesbian.

[–] ILikeBoobies@lemmy.ca 13 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Wouldn’t it hit the same as it would a straight male?

[–] buddascrayon@lemmy.world 18 points 1 month ago

POV: Not all moms are accepting of their daughters being into girls.

[–] yetAnotherUser@lemmy.ca 35 points 1 month ago (1 children)

You just need to find a girl that also likes Tsoding! Then, you can ask her "Hey, do you have plans for Christmas? I'd love it if we could do AoC (Advent of Code) in a language we both hate!"

[–] Gumbyyy@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Well shit, I've never seen AoC before - I'm not usually very interested in programming just for fun, but I might give that a try!

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[–] lemmydividebyzero@reddthat.com 33 points 1 month ago (5 children)

There are far more male programmers... As a programmer, be gay or stay alone... Choose!

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 29 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Oh that explains why my wife is gay

[–] mathemachristian@lemmy.blahaj.zone 13 points 1 month ago (1 children)

If she was around the same cs students as me then yeah

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[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago (3 children)

She sleeps with men, that's pretty gay

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 30 points 1 month ago

There are a lot of things she does but that aint one of them

[–] MrScottyTay@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Think you forgot to check their username before commenting that haha

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[–] undefined@lemmy.hogru.ch 23 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Can programmers only be with other programmers or am I missing something?

[–] davidagain@lemmy.world 22 points 1 month ago (3 children)

"JSON parser 100% from scratch in Haskell in 110 lines" doesn't get you horny? I guess some people are just wired differently.

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[–] lemmydividebyzero@reddthat.com 11 points 1 month ago

But you kind of have to leave the house for that... I mean... We talk about programmers....

/s

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[–] ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 18 points 1 month ago (2 children)

There are those who transition, so a significant chunk of that male programmer population is "male" as in quotation marks, only that some transition earlier than others. Does not guarantee that you can get the transgender autistic puppygirl (or other variations) of your dreams, since many of them are lesbians.

But also feel free to look outside your field for a partner. It's okay to date an artist as a programmer.

[–] rucksack@feddit.org 8 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I think programmer should be seen as a gender itself.

I'm currently transitioning myself, already have a homeserver and a Linux PC, can't wait to be a real programmer.

[–] lessthanluigi@lemmy.sdf.org 9 points 1 month ago

I detransitioned from being a programmer and all I have is depression since, maybe I should retransission into being a programmer

[–] shoki@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

and gender confirmation would not be getting called sir/ma'am at the starbucks but people asking you for IT help?

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[–] daniskarma@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 1 month ago

It's not gay if I'm wearing programming socks.

[–] psud@aussie.zone 4 points 1 month ago

It's odd in the Australian public service, with COBOL programmers. They've been in the job long enough that they started when the public service was the only employer who would employ women as programmers. I'm on the systems analyst side of the fence, the programmers I have worked with include a bit more than 60% women

I think all the programmers I know are married or gay or not interested. I think the gay ones are mostly married too.

[–] RedSnt@feddit.dk 26 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] gigastasio@sh.itjust.works 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] massive_bereavement@fedia.io 4 points 1 month ago

Pupil of Women

[–] whyNotSquirrel@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 month ago (2 children)

not sure if it's sarcastic: point of view

[–] AugustWest@lemmy.world 12 points 1 month ago

Title is edited

[–] RedSnt@feddit.dk 6 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I did consider taking a screenshot before the edit from POW to POV, but eh.

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[–] jerkface@lemmy.ca 23 points 1 month ago

I don't think "programmer" fully captures the reality of being an emacs-based programmer.

[–] MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip 23 points 1 month ago (1 children)

NOTE: no proper error reporting

Add those few lines, will ya?

[–] ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

But that would break the 111 line rule.

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[–] FiskFisk33@startrek.website 17 points 1 month ago

I wouldn't trust a guy letting their battery go that low either

[–] smiletolerantly@awful.systems 16 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago (2 children)

There was no ESL moment in Ba Sing Se!

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[–] umbraroze@slrpnk.net 13 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I'm a girl. I'm not interested in Haskell, that's too frigging endofunctiorific. Erlang! That's what all the cool guys are doing.

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[–] gigachad@piefed.social 11 points 1 month ago (4 children)

A JSON parser in Haskell, what a day to have eyes

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[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 10 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

He won't be done debugging her by then. She'll be ready for beta testing next year.

[–] bestelbus22@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago

Hello everyone, and welcome to yet another recreational programming session with who?

[–] edinbruh@feddit.it 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

If you are writing a parser in haskell just use Happy and get it over with

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[–] biggeoff@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 month ago

Based Tsoding

[–] goatinspace@feddit.org 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)
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