Jesus pulling up the footage
Me, sweeting nervously
Jesus: "But you eventually beat the level?"
Me: Cautiously... "... yes."
Jesus: "Damn." Pulls out controller "Can you give me a hand? I've been stuck on it for over 30 years."
this post was submitted on 07 Oct 2025
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Jesus: "heh that's what i do too. straight to ~~jail~~ ~~hell~~ heaven!"
Implying you die in the next 12 years or so. Hmm
Or Jesus just didn't get into Mario 64 for another few years.
I don't actually know how to assess timing with a being considered outside of space and time.
IIRC it’s worse with the mom following.
As soon as you dropped her baby into the abyss her angry eyes softened, as if she forgave you.
Then she’d get stuck in a tracking loop, running up to the edge as if to throw herself off, stopping at the edge, meandering away aimlessly, before changing her mind and trying again.
Such was her anguish.
Edit: move explanation to comment below
God damn
Lol yeah. I’m definitely embellishing though. Every kid I met who found it knew it wasn’t intended and thought it was funny.
For the curious, here’s my attempt to explain how this ~~bug~~ immersive and poignantly tragic easter egg was produced by simple NPC logic.
- On this level, Big Penguin (BP) gives side quest to retrieve Little Penguin (LP).
- Without quest active, picking up LP activates BP “protective” mode.
- BP protective mode is just an angry-eye texture, and is disabled the moment you set LP down.
- Setting LP down while facing cliff edge satisfies that logic, even though LP game object falls off map.
- BP’s tracking routine beelines to LP or, if BP has become stuck on an obstacle for some time, activates brief meander/wander behavior.
- BP’s “running” behavior is just a minor speed boost that activates when LP is far enough away, usually just looks like BP is chasing you.
This game state probably isn’t intended, but it’s not a serious bug since BP and LP reset to origin when you’re far enough away that their game objects to despawn.
It's fine, just ask for forgiveness and everything shall be fine.
Jesus enabled more than enough pedos to control people under his name.
He doesn’t give a shit about some digital penguin. Too busy matchmaking with the priests and alter boys.
Edgy
How original.
And which of the mainstream cults do you belong to little child? I’ll be sure to bring you back to your designated molestation station at your local sect.
You've single handedly defeated religion with your biting and witty commentary. Congratulations.
Have the priests been too rough with your head again honey? Cause nobody is under that pretext unless you are that delusional to think a comment on here actually could have that kind of power.
If you want a larger comeback, you’re better off getting on your knees at your nearest church.
want a lager comeback
If you want my lager comeback, you'll have to scrape it off your mom's teeth.
Back with stolen jokes, that one’s a low hanging fruit at this point bro. Jimmy Carr says hi 😘
Stoop any lower and you can suck off your local clergy.
Low effort trolling gets low effort replies.
You get what you pay for.
Kinda like with your mom.
I've also been out of the church longer than you've been alive, more than likely. Because while monotheism sucks as a phenomena in human history, being a cunt online isn't going to change that.
I remember my militant atheist phase as well. You'll grow out of it buddy. (I didn't believe it either when someone told me that 20+ years ago but so it goes.)
Put some effort in and you might gain something
Like this
The intolerance of narrow monotheism is written in letters of blood across the history of man from the time when first the tribes of Israel burst into the land of Canaan. The worshippers of the one jealous God are egged on to aggressive wars against people of alien [beliefs and cultures]. They invoke divine sanction for the cruelties inflicted on the conquered. The spirit of old Israel is inherited by Christianity and Islam, and it might not be unreasonable to suggest that it would have been better for Western civilization if Greece had moulded it on this question rather than Palestine.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Criticism_of_monotheism#Associations_with_violence
Lotta effort responding to a troll post ya twat. Take your mom jokes and tell them to someone that gives a shit about outdated humour and go seek a “conversation” elsewhere ya nob.
No effort, pleasure's all mine. (That's what I told your mum as well, btw.)
Is there anyone on earth more insufferable than an edgy atheist. I'd rather spend time with a MAGA moron than you.
The founder of gateway church getting outed as pedo is the least surprising of the only recent events where once again it’s not the trans or drag queens touching the kids.
Curious how many kids he helped connect to priests via his gateway.
I'm safe from this judgement, but not from the evidence of my Stellaris saves.
Go on...
Defending Your Life if it came out today
Lol. Just watched it for the first time. Ain't no heavenly lawyer gonna be able to help me.
Well at least we're all going to the same place. We should make a "Hell" instance for Lemmy, so it's waiting for us.
Given how terrible heaven is supposed to be, I feel like an afterlife in hell should just be a perpetual LAN party in your best friend's basement, where no amount of Doritos, Mountain Dew, or Red Bull would be harmful, but would instead just be nourishment.
Or swap in whatever junk food you like the most instead, but you know the feel I'm going for, I hope.