You deserve someone who is as excited to be with you as you are to be with them.
Bro sounds like he thinks of you like a pet "to keep around just in case".
this post was submitted on 08 Jul 2025
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Relationship Advice
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I feel like whenever the phrase "he keeps me (around, presumably)" even enters the conversation you need to take a step back and think about that in itself.
As a dude with commitment issues, I can tell you he's playing you, he might actually have feelings for you but he wont ever make his mind up and will keep you close enough to feel better about himself while keeping you from feeling better about yourself. I've been that dude before and that's why I don't actively try dating anymore, untill I fix my issues.
Hopefully I'm wrong and he's just having momentary cold feet because it's become legit and he wasn't ready for it that quick.
That makes sense, thank you..
Simple please leave him. This is abuse and you deserve better.
Thanks so much. Maybe because I'm in love so I'm sugarcoating it, but I feel like he really tries not to hurt me and just wants to be friends.
As a man, husband, and father of 2 girls, I wouldn't want this for my kids. You are giving your love to show the boy how much he means to you but he doesn't she it this way.
Whoever you are, you are worth more and deserve to be treated equally in a relationship. You'll find someone that will show you the respect and love you deserve. Please don't lower yourself for someone else. Boys are dicks. I know. I was one.
Thank you so much, hopefully he'll act better soon. If not, I'll leave for sure.
I really hope it gets better!
Just in case it does not, please don't fall for the sunk cost fallacy.
Also try to not fall victim to a "comfortably hurtfull relationship". Yes after the breakup the pain will get worse for a while. But it'll surely subside and once the pain is numb enough and you're not constantly hurting (mentally or emotionally) by being in a negative relationship anymore you'll start to feel better each day :)
Wish you the best, we all deserve love by default <3
Reading some accounts of domestic abuse victims might out some things in perspective. You're worth more than this.
This is not how you treat someone you care about. Knowingly or unknowingly, he’s been gradually lowering your expectations, too, I guess? Whatever feelings were once there seem gone.
If you feel he deserves it, give him one FINAL chance to explain himself. Hold him accountable. He will be expected to keep any and all promises.
Otherwise, just leave. Immediately. You do not owe anyone an explanation.
There are so many brilliant people out there, don’t waste your love on someone who sees you as optional, and doesn’t cherish your feelings. He very clearly doesn’t, he’s told you, he’s showing you, I know it’s hard. Good luck.
I think your brain is on to something. It's not enough to just give affirmations; words need to be backed up by actions to have substance. Someone who is dismissive of your wants or interests doesn't sound the slightest bit in love with you. You deserve a definitive answer on what he wants to be, and I think you need to force the issue. It's selfish to put you through this sort of emotional toil if it's genuinely just so he isn't lonely. If he doesn't want you to feel bad, he shouldn't be putting you through this just to fill some attentional void.
Are you absolutely sure he doesnt know if he wants to date you? It might be a literal interpretation of something he said and he actually feels different. Maybe a proper sitdown talk is required to see wherr things are.
If someone ever said "let's break up" that is usually the end of the relationship. Dont be with someone who isnt 100% sure they want to be with you.
He doesn’t know if he’s ready for a relationship in general, thank you so much
Im sorry this is happening :(
That sounds really hard, he sounds very hot and cold too which really is not the way to go in a relationship. I think maybe he doesn’t wanna hurt you by breaking up but he himself wants to break up
Thanks so much
Np!!
I'd say leave him because he doesn't know what he wants and it seems you are just convenient to keep around.
If you was a nail in the coffin, after he says he loves you ask him why? If he questions it, just tell him that you want him to put it in words why he loves you. No answer or a weak superficial answer means he is just saying words when he says he loves you. If he can articulate and give you all sorts of reasons that are specific to you, then he does have A love of you but may not actually be in love with you.
He may have Borderline Personality Disorder.
That could very well be