Ask Lemmy

I used to participate in r/theredpill. It's an ideology that got increasingly toxic over the years.

The part that truly made me ditch the manosphere was meeting a lady on a dating app who mentioned to me that RooshV was doing a rally near her town and that it had her fearing for her life. For the record, that was an incel/redpill influencer who was an advocate for legalizing spousal rape.

Put on a higher weight than you can safely lift to not be outdone by the guy next to you, especially if your bro is watching.

Grunt/scream really loudly and slam the weights down, regardless of if your doing your max or just warming up.

Don't spot exercise your glutes, never stretch or train mobility or balance or cardio.

Don't wipe the equipment after use.

Don't take the plates off of the machines afterwards.

Do spill pwo and protein powder and don't clean it.

Use deodorant or body spray instead of showering after ("I already showered this morning").

Insist on jumping in between sets when someone else is working out, especially if it's a woman.

Offer (mostly poor or extremely basic) advice on technique to everyone who uses lighter weights than you, regardless of their actual form - especially if it's a woman.

Be insistent than any woman with headphones needs to take them off and pause their workout to hear the most pointless question or comment you can think of ("where did you get that?" & point to a bag clearly printed with a chain store name, or "it's good you keep your hair in a pony tail, don't want it to get stuck in the machine!", or "why do women always do that leg-kick-excercise? You don't need it, I like small asses anyway", or "have you tried this gainzzZ-drink?(hold up a half-drunk ready-made shake), it's not too chalky compared to their previous recipe").

Real men don't wipe their ass. That's touching your butt, which is always gay unless you have to scratch it.

Use your expensive/show-off devices everywhere, even if it's extremely unpractical: drive the car/take the horse to go to a place next door. Have the most expensive, top-notch devices to do the easiest and most mundane tasks.

Taking senseless risks for little or no reward, terrible attitudes toward health & safety

There are a lot of great answers here, but I’d like to add one that I think is often forgotten in these conversations:

Purposeful incompetence around supposedly non-masculine skills.

It drives me up the wall every time I hear some dude talk about how they don’t know how to do basic tasks of living because the women in their lives take care of it for them.

Guys who act like laundry, cooking, dishes, changing a diaper, gardening, grocery shopping, etc. require arcane knowledge they just don’t possess.

“Real men don’t put cream in their coffee.”

No, real men don’t give a shit how others drink their coffee, Stanley.

Every time the party encounter a FEMALE they have to comment on their body and if they'd have intercourse with her or if she isn't hot enough to be worthy of their attention. And if all of them say no but one says he'd "do her" all the others have to mock him for his low standards (see moped).

They all have to one-up each other all the time on all kind of small things.

No one can ever see another man peepee. They all have to refer to their peepees with highly sounding names that confer absolute potency (e. g. the horn of breeding).

Their horses/companion animals have to be waaaay oversized and impractical, with no real bonuses and lots of drawbacks (e. g. Brutus the destroyer, a 100kg dog that is slow, eats all the time, shits copious amounts that they have to pick up and has a dps of 2, and love scratches behind the ears).

They have to carry ~~wallets~~ swords on their back because it looks cool but it's absolutely impractical. A couple of true stories on this last bit: my dad once told me I should start putting my wallet in my back pocket "like a man". A friend of mine got back problems because he used to sit all day with his wallet on his back.

Music was always the one for me. I couldn't listen to that music or this music because "That's gay bro". It didn't matter that I listened to a large variety, it was instilled in me that some music is okay, other stuff is not.

One of my earliest memories was being into Britney Spears. I was young, 10 or so. Dad was never home and I learned to like my own music on my own time without him, and I liked her music. My memory is that I was listening to it in the car, my CD of hers, and then I remember mom and dad arguing, and I don't remember ever seeing that CD again. My mom confirmed when I was an adult that dad threw it out because he didn't want me to listen to her. Did he share any of his music with me as an alternative? No of course not, I just couldn't listen to that.

Now as an adult I've fully embraced it. I love me Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, Queen, and other "manly" bands (Yes I know, I chuckle too at Queen), but I'm also an avid Swifty (I even mod !taylorswift@poptalk.scrubbles.tech ) because sometimes you just want a song that feels a bit happier, and I even took my wife to the Eras tour. I love Olivia Rodrigo because damn if we don't all have some teenage angst sometimes, and I've gone back a bit to Britney too - but not as much.

What a shame that people think that art should be subject to what they think the world is like. There is room to like many different things. Enjoying one thing doesn't mean you dislike another thing. People can like many different things. I can enjoy A24 films while also laughing at Wil Farrell movies. None of that means that I'm this or that - humans are complex and like what we like. Thanks for reading this far :)

Man up, stop crying. Walk it off. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. It builds character.

talk over all female characters because you know better than them. Disregard professional advice if it comes from a female character. Ask if you can get a second opinion, but only if the first one comes from a female character. Females are lower than men. Your job is to provide for them. They do not have the emotional stability to run anything. That's why they clean, cook, and take care of children. That is why men handle politics, governance, leadership, and other important roles. Wo- cough Females can't be trusted to be stable enough to handle such big tasks. You are important. You are big and dominant. Feeeeemales are small and submissive.

Real men have muscles. Real men don't cry. Real men are physically strong. Real men are stoic, only showing emotion in instances of overwhelming happiness or loss. Real men know how to fight. Real men never back down. Real men never run away. Real men can do anything. As a man, you own the world around you, including feeeeemales.

I can keep going, but tbh I feel gross. I had to deal with a lot of this as a kid. I don't think my parents realized how gross the male adults around me were, otherwise I'm pretty sure they would have been shocked and appalled by it.

a DnD oneshot soon, and the theme is toxic masculinity

Sounds like... fun. Why do you want real-world problems in your games?

Which is kinda funny because I would use shimpoo, but gods forbid men can have some skin routine. It's not my thing, but let people do what they want.

Real men characteristics:

Uneducated

Willing to fight after losing a debate

Only have 3 emotions- mad, sad, horny

Refer to themselves as alphas

Impose favors on women for a reward

Assume women are flattered by attention

Might makes right

Ends justify the means

Say offensive things to assert dominance

Believe that children are small adults

Try to take charge by yelling

Poor impulse control

Only have aggressive impersonal seggs

Low Theory of Mind ability