this post was submitted on 20 Apr 2025

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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

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Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works

Anon contracts herpes (sh.itjust.works)

submitted 1 year ago by Gullible@sh.itjust.works to c/greentext@sh.itjust.works

30 comments fedilink hide all child comments

>Get BJ on prom night 
>Week later massive red spot on cock
>Herpes
>Fuck
>doctor say this shit is
uncurable
>No woman will want me
>Struggle with shame and depression
>Lose all interest in sex
>Go years without being with a woman
>Finally regain some self confidence
>Brainwave.exe
>Need woman who already has the disease
>Find old hooker on craigslist
>Looks pretty ragged on the blurred photo
>Has probably had a million diseased cocks in her
>Call her up
>Explain I have herpes
>Tell her I presume she has it too
>Silence
>Then she hangs up

I dont know where to go from here bros

all 33 comments

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[–] Rivalarrival@lemmy.today 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Anon, who'd you get the BJ from? They can't give it to you again...

[–] Cheradenine@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 year ago

This is a common misconception and the leading cause of Turbo herpes outbreaks.

Stay safe kids

[–] superkret@feddit.org 1 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Be careful with those greentexts.
Now that the source has run out, they're irreplaceable artifacts.

[–] SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I'm rationing my greentexts. I only read one line a day

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It’s fine, I can easily search 8chan and find greentexts an order of magnitude more deranged. This isn’t even the tip of the iceberg, thankfully/unfortunately

[–] superkret@feddit.org 0 points 1 year ago (1 children)

[–] Mim@lemmy.zip 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Back in the day I thought that of /b/.
Those were simpler times. A more… civilized age.

[–] spooky2092@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Back when /b/ was a containment board, not the whitehouse

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 1 points 1 year ago

[–] Opisek@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Literally ⅔ of all humanity has at least one type of HSV. It is not the end of the world.

[+] Turret3857@infosec.pub 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (3 children)

[deleted]

[–] PrettyFlyForAFatGuy@feddit.uk 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

It works by making fucking ugly sore blisters on/around my mouth a couple times a year. they dry out and crust off after a week or so and i get on with my life.

https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/herpes-simplex-virus

[+] Turret3857@infosec.pub 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (4 children)

[deleted]

[–] Pacattack57@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

I got tested once and the doctor told me testing for herpes is pointless because most everyone has the antibodies in their body due to how common it is. The test gives false positives most of the time.

[–] Opisek@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

You can totally also be asymptomatic for your whole life and not know it. It is also useful to know that "oral herpes" doesn't exclusively affect your mouth, and "genital herpes" doesn't exclusively affect your genitals. Just more often. Both types can appear in both locations. The hypothetical person from the greentext would likely have contracted oral herpes. I'm not sure how that works with STD tests, though.

[–] LustyArgonianMana@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

No one tests for HSV1 ever unless you have a bad active outbreak.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK47447/

Worldwide, ∼90% of people have one or both viruses. HSV-1 is the more prevalent virus, with 65% of persons in the United States having antibodies to HSV-1 (Xu et al., 2002). The epidemiology in Europe is similar, with at least half of the population seropositive for HSV-1. In the developing world, HSV-1 is almost universal, and usually acquired from intimate contact with family in early childhood

2/3 of the population UNDER 50 have some form of HSV, but virtually every person autopsied that died over the age of 60 will have HSV-1. It's THAT common. That's why they don't test.

[–] vfsh@lemmy.blahaj.zone 0 points 1 year ago (1 children)

In my experience most standard STD panels will test for HSV-2 but not 1, usually you'd have to special request it

[–] pupbiru@aussie.zone 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

a full STI screen is for HIV, syphilis, chlamydia, and gonorrhoea

blood test - for syphilis, HIV throat swab - for chlamydia and gonorrhoea anal swab - for chlamydia and gonorrhoea urine - for chlamydia and gonorrhoea

afaik they sometimes tack on general biochemistry (sodium, potassium, etc) to the blood test, as well as some other things like mycoplasma genitalium but these are not standard 3-monthly tests

afaik it’s very rare to test for HSV at all, for various reasons

[–] LOLseas@sh.itjust.works 0 points 1 year ago (1 children)

piqued my curiosity...

https://www.merriam-webster.com/grammar/pique-vs-peak-vs-peek

[–] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Nah, OP has reached peak curiosity, it's all downhill from here.

[–] angrystego@lemmy.world 0 points 1 year ago

The important and nastiest part of HSV is some strains cause cervical cancer in women, so men with HSV must take care not to spread something that has the potential to kill their partner. There is a vaccine, but it doesn't work 100%.

[–] Tar_alcaran@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 year ago (2 children)

And it's not infectious when it's asymptomatic.

[–] rirus@feddit.org 3 points 1 year ago

Thats false! “Transmission may still occur when symptoms are not present.” https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Herpes

[–] Two2Tango@lemmy.ca 1 points 1 year ago

And it's asymptomatic most of the time. 😚

[–] Kit@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I got HSV-2 after my longtime partner cheated on me, and it's absolutely miserable. I wouldn't recommend anyone take it as lightly as some people do. During the first outbreak I couldn't pee at all because it was blocking my urinary tract, and it felt like I had a horrible flu. I get outbreaks constantly and they're so painful that it's hard to sit at my computer at work. The daily pills are massive and give me a stomach ache, and only reduce the frequency of the outbreaks but don't prevent them entirely.

I never asked for this, I was never promiscuous, I only did not use protection because we were in a monogamous relationship for 4 years. Dating is hard enough because I'm trans and ugly, so I've resigned myself to just never having sex again.

[–] PolarKraken@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 year ago

I'm so sorry :(

This happened to my wife, FWIW, from an old horrible partner (abusive too, v cool). Her outbreaks got milder over time to where now they're a minor inconvenience at most. And they don't get in our way, so to speak.

Even though, yes, some folks are now preemptively and permanently out of your dating pool, I'd argue that a lot of the people self-excluding in that way have done you a favor.

Love is strong stuff! I can imagine how low you feel about this, but I hope you allow space for it to improve over time and you don't give up on having a sex life or romantic partners. You're worthy of love, this dumb (and seriously common) disease can't change that :)

[–] FartsWithAnAccent@fedia.io 1 points 1 year ago

Pretty sure there are sites specifically for and sites that have filters for people who have certain STDs (HSV1, HSV2, AIDS, etc.) so affected people can still get together without worrying about spreading diseases.

I forget which one it is, but even one of the mainstream sites had an option for this years ago when I was dating. OK Cupid? Plenty of Fish? I think it might've been one of those.

[–] rirus@feddit.org 0 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Do you ask a woman before kissing here if she has any diseases?

[–] TwoBeeSan@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I ask to inspect her anus with a flashlight. Halogen preferred.

[–] Sidyctism2@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 1 year ago

thats hot!

[–] FartsWithAnAccent@fedia.io 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

If they don't have a sore, they ~~aren't infectious~~ are less infectious, but frankly, if this isn't something she tells you before it gets intimate, that's a red flag in my book. One of my exes had HSV and she disclosed everything to me beforehand. I kinda freaked out internally at first and considered breaking it off, but then I actually researched it and found out there's not a risk if they're not having a breakout (still use protection of course).

Things didn't work out because of other reasons, but it was a pretty good relationship while it lasted and I don't regret it. I still have a clean bill of health, no infections so if you meet someone that has HSV, try to keep in mind it doesn't necessarily have to be a deal breaker as long as your partner is honest with you and you take precautions.

Edited to correct a factual error.

[–] rirus@feddit.org 1 points 1 year ago

"Transmission may still occur when symptoms are not present." https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Herpes