this post was submitted on 16 May 2025
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iiiiiiitttttttttttt

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you know the computer thing is it plugged in?

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That laptop is no longer a laptop, it is a bomb.

TranscriptA photo of an extremely swollen HP laptop. The panels are kept on with clips. The caption says: "User calls about disc being stuck in another computer, mentions off hand about this laptop. They'd been using it like this for weeks...

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[–] frezik@midwest.social 111 points 11 months ago

"What do you mean I'm not allowed on the airplane?"

[–] carotte@lemmy.blahaj.zone 76 points 11 months ago (5 children)

oh yah ive seen this before. there’s an air pocket inside the battery. if you see this, poke it with a fork! it will let out the air 🙂

just in case someone may not knowbut for real do NOT poke a swollen battery. i think it’s obvious to most people here but just in case: do NOT poke a swollen battery.

[–] SatyrSack@feddit.org 25 points 11 months ago

A poke is dangerous! It needs to be a diagonal slice of at least 1 cm.

[–] Empricorn@feddit.nl 24 points 11 months ago

No poke, just bite. Got it.

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 16 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

ChatGPT just told a pregnant mother to poke her laptop battery, gj monster.

[–] andybytes@programming.dev 6 points 11 months ago

Thank you for the disclaimer hahaha yah never know... The real danger is when it's getting charged.

[–] irelephant@programming.dev 6 points 11 months ago

I read somewhere that some people discharged the battery, and then carefully poked the layer full of gas, and had the battery albeit with only 50% of its previous capacity.

Still a terrible idea.

[–] Catoblepas@lemmy.blahaj.zone 74 points 11 months ago (2 children)

!spicypillows@lemmy.world would like this

[–] arudesalad@sh.itjust.works 30 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

Seeing "spicy pillows" always makes me extremely anxious because of how horribly it can go for anyone near one. This community would be extremely bad for my mental health... ~I joined it...~

[–] Catoblepas@lemmy.blahaj.zone 12 points 11 months ago

It is a bit train wreck-y! I’ve never had one do that, but I sure had the fear of it put in me.

[–] irelephant@programming.dev 3 points 11 months ago

Crossposted.

[–] expatriado@lemmy.world 47 points 11 months ago (1 children)

that's too long to hold a fart

[–] FooBarrington@lemmy.world 17 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Seriously. Just prick the swollen part with a sharp needle, it will let out a toot and be good as new.

[–] sploosh@lemmy.world 15 points 11 months ago

Good ol' flame toots.

[–] andybytes@programming.dev 12 points 11 months ago

Just in case there's impressionable minds in the comments, do not do this. Also don't eat Tide pods.

[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 39 points 11 months ago (4 children)

An HP with a fucked up battery. Jaw dropping.

It’s like they go out of your way to give you fucked up defective batteries. Then they make their laptops nearly unserviceable, so when I get a replacement battery I tear the shit out of the case to get it open.

And it’s always hp. I’ve had other laptops for 10 years with functioning batteries. These HPs fail in like a year or two. I have one now covered in stickers from all the damage I had to do to open it and replace the battery.

[–] Luccus@feddit.org 12 points 11 months ago

It must be some sort of hobby. Especially with the Elitebook series.

The G1 had a bad charging curve and tended to produce spicy pillows. HP fixed it with a firmware update, and since the G2 had mostly the same design, they were fine.

Then the G3 came out, again with an incorrect charging curve. HP fixed the problem. The G4 were fine.

G5? Bad charging curve… wanna guess if the G6 was affected?

[–] ulterno@programming.dev 9 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Seems like the battery did the opening for them already, in this case.

[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 5 points 11 months ago

Yeah, see maybe that’s their plan. The battery opens the case for you. Brilliant.

[–] Lazhward@lemmy.world 8 points 11 months ago

Yeah, I had to replace the battery on mine twice already. Last time buying HP for sure.

[–] irelephant@programming.dev 2 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (4 children)

An HP

Just curious, was this a typo, or do you pronounce Hp Ach Pee?

edit: typo, ironically.

[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 7 points 11 months ago

Just curious, was this a type, or do you pronounce Hp Ach Pee?

I’m not even sure where to start with this one.

[–] nomy@lemmy.zip 4 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] irelephant@programming.dev 2 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] Feathercrown@lemmy.world 2 points 11 months ago
[–] stoy@lemmy.zip 3 points 11 months ago

I am Swedish and say:

HÅPE

[–] Zoop@beehaw.org 2 points 11 months ago

That how I pronounce it, so I'd write it that way, too.

[–] disguy_ovahea@lemmy.world 25 points 11 months ago (3 children)

It’s not a bomb. Batteries expand when the electrolyte degrades. Once the swelling stops, it’s homeostatic. Totally discharge the battery, open it up, carefully remove or replace the battery. You can most likely use the computer plugged in with the battery removed if you don’t want to buy a new one.

Discharging the battery is the most important step in that process. A discharged battery is very unlikely to combust.

[–] techt@lemmy.world 17 points 11 months ago (3 children)

I think the most important step is PPE honestly -- especially when the floor chances for maim or injury is "unlikely".

Here is a guide.

[–] disguy_ovahea@lemmy.world 7 points 11 months ago

Great point! I always had that available to me at work, so I overlooked it as a step. You’re absolutely correct. Never skimp on safety.

[–] ulterno@programming.dev 1 points 11 months ago

And as you see there, one more important part being, doing it outside, in a place where you have enough air movement and a space where you can immediately chuck it in case it starts doing its thing.

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world -1 points 11 months ago (2 children)

The chance of a discharged battery hurting anyone is 0%. No juice, no fire. I'm in IT and have thrown a few in the fire and shot several. Worst I've seen is one get very hot and burn around the bullet hole, and those had some juice left in them.

[–] techt@lemmy.world 12 points 11 months ago

Sure, that's probably true (we could quibble over "0%" and the nuances of hyperbole), but my confidence that the clearly damaged battery in front of me is completely discharged and won't cause harm is far less than my confidence in PPE saving my eyesight. When giving information to strangers on the internet, I like to play it conservative.

[–] Scubus@sh.itjust.works 8 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I dunno, i once discharged a battery and then threw it at my brother. He seemed pretty hurt.

[–] nomy@lemmy.zip 5 points 11 months ago

When he said you were D-ranged he just meant what size battery and how far you could throw it.

[–] chicken@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 11 months ago (1 children)

How would one safely discharge a swollen battery? Just letting the computer run?

[–] disguy_ovahea@lemmy.world 10 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Yup. Run it until it shuts down, then power it up into BIOS/EFI until there’s no more sign of life. Turing up screen brightness and streaming video over WiFi will speed things up if you’re in a hurry.

[–] andybytes@programming.dev 5 points 11 months ago

This is accurate information. I just used an old computer and took the battery out of it and used it as a server. Sure, the power goes out and it might corrupt, but you know, it's just for dumb shit.

[–] stoy@lemmy.zip 16 points 11 months ago

Whenever I see a puffed up battery, I want to take it to a small range and pop it with a 10J air rifle, seems fun

[–] kubica@fedia.io 12 points 11 months ago

Sorry, we don't work with pufferfish. Let me walk you to the door.

[–] saltnotsugar@lemm.ee 11 points 11 months ago

Just lance the pillow and I’m sure it’ll be fine.

[–] mrmule@lemm.ee 7 points 11 months ago

Another HP battery 😂

[–] Mikina@programming.dev 7 points 11 months ago (3 children)

I'm on mobile and youtube hates my VPN lately, so I can't link it, but I highly recommend for everyone to go watch how does an exploding/penetrated battery looks like.

I kind of knew they are a fire hazard, but seeing one actually explode was way way worse than I thought. Exploding batteries are no joke, and everyone should see it at least once.

[–] sexy_peach@feddit.org 4 points 11 months ago

Looks fine to me

[–] onlinepersona@programming.dev 2 points 11 months ago (1 children)

This had me in stitches. I love these kinds of photos. I'm sure people with cars have way worse "solutions".

Anti Commercial-AI license

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 7 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)