Best advice I got about my all time present self criticism was:"Imagine the self criticism or self hate in the voice of someone you don't like and don't respect. Donald Trump for example."

It makes the voice in my head that says:"You are a worthless piece of shit." entertaining at least.

"If someone met your expectations would you be mad?"

"No"

"Then maybe your expectations are too high?"

Your life is the way it is because you've decided that it's more comfortable to leave it that way than to change it.

Srsly years and years of therapy this was the only thing that did anything for me

This has been what I do with mine. Most of it is pretty fucking "well duh" type stuff, however working with people to hold you, and you hold yourself, accountable for making progress in these ways. The part of having someone to hold you to account, this is often where a therapist is the most useful. However, in this situation, this isn't an option, so you need to reach out to others.

Take your meds. If you need meds, but can not currently access them due to finance issues, there are sources out there that may be able to help. This is not often easy to navigate, but it may be something that saves you.

Try any method you can find, that is from a reputable source, to keep your sleep on a schedule, and get at least 6 hours per night. This is way more important than many wish, but generally everyone knows it is vital to health, including mental health.

Make yourself accountable to someone for daily improvement progress - eg find a friend, family member, online gaming buddy, whatever, that you report to, on a routine basis, to report the regularity of maintaining these routines. This means whatever you need to do to keep your living space clean, and in order, routine exercise, adherence to a healthy diet, maintaining the framework to keep yourself on track, like keeping your phone calendar up date, keeping lists of chores/errands you need to do, working on maintaining a hierarchy of needs (most immediate things to do, and most important), etc. This is the big one though, this person is allowed to criticize you in your failings on this, and you need to take that criticism, and use it as a call to focus on these areas. You may need more than one person willing to help. If you are isolated, there are online groups for these things. No this isn't a great alternative, but it is better than nothing, and living in despair.

You need to audit your behavior. You need to make a record of the things you do that are mentally taxing, and thus can harm your mental health. Do you spend all day, every day, at work, or stressing about work? You need to find a place you can vent this stress, and look for advice on how to disengage with work enough stop burn out, but still do what is expected. If what is expected is just too much, you need to recognize it, and work on finding a lower stress income. Do you doom scroll? Well look into apps that help you regulate the time you spend online. Also, audit your experience with the platforms you engage with. If you find one is mostly something that adds to your stress, depression, despair, etc. work on just cutting that out completely. Look at your personal relationships, and really try to assess whether or not your relationships are healthy, if not, how can they become healthy? If there is not foreseeable way to make it healthy, go low-contact, pilot no contact. If your daily life has any improvement because you no longer maintain contact, then it is time to drop them.

Social activity. This will depend greatly on how much socializing, and what kinds, you can handle, etc. This one is much more tricky, especially since anxiety, anhedonia, and other negative aspects of your mental health really affect how hard this is. However, you need to work on getting some sort of in person social contact. It needs to be regular, and I don't mean like all the time, but that there is a routine set-up for it. Local hobby groups, activities at the local library, publicly held events you may attend, try to work out a specific time period where you, and at least one friend/family member, can spend that time together doing an agreed upon activity.

Do things that allow you to put your thoughts into more of an order than they may currently be. This could be a journal, personal blog, etc. Just something where you can dump your brain, look at what came out, and apply some structure to it.

Spend time outside. Be it with people, or alone, just force yourself to spend time outside, especially in places you can see nature, see green, etc. If you just sit there observing it, it will help to maintain wellness. This is subtle, and takes a while, however it does have a real impact.

There is more, and I can ask my therapist, when I see her this week, for resources for all this, and I can update with what she says, if she is willing, which I do not see why she wouldn't be.

"When you're fighting with someone, think of it as tug-of-war. You choose how long you hold that rope, but you can put it down, or not even pick it up. Either way, neither of you are really going anywhere until one of you chooses to walk away."

There's a member of my family I strongly dislike, so I had to work on not taking the bait.

You clearly find it easy to stop doing things that are bad for you (drinking, drugs, eating meat), but you struggle to start doing things that are good for you (exercise, cooking, eating enough/well).

She was right. I still don't do the bad stuff and started doing the good stuff and now my life is so much better. Ironically it was quitting the last bad thing (weed) which allowed me to start taking care of myself. It's not enough to not hurt yourself, you have to be good to yourself too.

I went in saying that work feels boring and repetitive. Feel stuck in the same job for the rest of my life, even though i hate it.

She said we all feel that way.

Set boundaries and enforce them.

Yes its *possible, but not plausible_

What issues are you dealing with (if you feel like sharing)? I can speak from my experience being in therapy for AuADHD, anxiety, depression, childhood traumas, and a few other things.

ETA: Some generic things from my therapist that will help most people:

• Drink enough water. This alone can have a significant impact.
• Try to do regular physical activity that you enjoy, if possible. Even if you don't feel like it.
• Check your posture. If you find yourself hunching, try fixing that.
• Do things that you know that you enjoy when you are not depressed, when you are depressed. Our brains are weird and "fake it 'til you make it" kinda works - by doing non-depressive things, you can trick your brain into being happier.
• Try to engage socially, if you find yourself to be a hermit. Our brains are evolved to be social animals and isolation can be damaging.
• If you are having trouble with the state of the world and things that you do not have control over, try engaging in things that you do have control over. This can be as simple as deep cleaning your sink or fixing a squeeky hinge. The amount of frustration caused by inability to impact important global happening is problematic for maintaining good mental health - our brains evolved in environments where life-threatening problems had immediate solutions but humans have built societies that don't work that way.

Important items

• Be patient and kind to yourself. Especially your past self. We all did cringy things when young with brains not fully-developed and/or without the information that one has currently. If you have trouble doing so, try mentally taking a step back and pretending that you are dealing with a close friend who you care about deeply. Would you judge them and make them feel bad about their past mistakes? I hope not.
• Concern and depression about the world at large is a very valid way to feel. It's important, especially for those of us with mental health challenges, to take the airplane safety spiel "put your own mask on first before helping others" approach to rendering aid to others. If you are in or near crisis, you are not in a place to help others and need to focus on getting to stable ground yourself first. Needing to do this isn't slacking off or "not doing your part". Not everyone is equipped to be out marching all the time (some are not equipped for this at all). If someone offers unhelpful criticism of inability to engage physically due to mental or physical health, they are best ignored rather than responded to.

A friend of mine thinks we're due for a revolution, but isn't going to start anything unilaterally. Does that constitute "a danger to himself or others"?

Mine just said, "You're right, but thinking about it isn't helping."

I countered with, "People not thinking about it is why we're here."

They replied with, "Yeah, probably."

"So what do I do?"

"What can one man do?"

"That's what I'm paying you for. What can I do?"

"🤷‍♂️ Maybe stop listening to Democrats."

Fucking hate Kentucky.

Also, I filed a complaint and didn't go back; their practice is now closed, but I don't know if it's just because they moved to a different location or if they genuinely had to stop practicing. Haven't really thought about it much.

I put together a website a while back:

https://wtdiycat.vercel.app/

I'd make more of an effort to distribute it if I was happier with it. in particular I think it needs simpler language.

Get a hobby, get outside. Doesn't have to cost much either.

Sometimes in the summer I go to the beach before work and cook my breakfast there on a camping stove burning driftwood as fuel.

Go for a walk, be mindful of your surroundings

That'll be $300

I will share and highly recommend this resource: Western Australia's Centre for Clinical Interventions's Self Help Resources. Of course, these are applicable to anyone, not just Australians. There are various pages for different types of conditions (anxiety, assertiveness, procrastinating, eating disorders, etc.), and most of them take you to self-directed workbooks you can fill out yourself. They're not only informative, but they also guide you through your thinking about these issues and how to deal with them and grow from them.

Thoughts are habits. You can't always change your circumstances, but you can change the way you think about them. The more you practice healthy thought patterns, the better you develop good habits.

You are a hairless ape whos been plucked out of the grassy plains of Africa and put in an artificially lit world where each day contains more hostile stimulation than you would normally process in a month. Your brain isn't built to handle the information overload that social media, commuting, taxes, work, news, rent inspections and basic modern life contains. You are right to feel a constant sense of fight or flight at this bizzare and hostile alien world.

"Here, take this quick test".

Ok.

"Huh. I've never seen results like this. "

...

"Welp, our time's up."

If feeling overwhelmed, do the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding method.

Find and make note of:

• 5 things you see
• 4 things you touch
• 3 things you hear
• 2 things you can smell
• 1 thing you can taste/recall tasting

And the idea with this is to stop dwelling on your negative spiral, and to focus on immediate surroundings.

Therapist also said to feel free to mix and match the sense with the number. For example, I don't have a good sense of smell, so I do 2 things I can taste/remember tasting, and 1 thing I can smell.

He said 'I'll see you next week'

I'm sorry OP, the hour has ended. Try not to -you know- yourself till next session. Have a nice weekend

I have a few but my absolute favorite was when he said " Imagine there's a woman, maybe she is homeless or on drugs, and she shouts at you as you walk by across the street. She says you look like a cockroach. What would you do? " "Probably laugh" "Exactly, think of your parent as that woman. They have no effect on your life but noise" I'm paraphrasing but I liked the idea of my negative thoughts ingrained by generations of trauma being like a random shouting on the street.

"lmao"

Look into CBT techniques, a big part of it is training yourself to catch bad thoughts as they happen and correct them.

Also breathing techniques

"Some people can't be fixed. Just try not to be yourself when your decisions affect other people so you minimize the harm you cause them. When you have an instinct to do or say something, the correct action is probably the exact opposite."

Apparently they hate trying to treat people with BPD (Edit: Borderline personality disorder, not bi-polar) because it's damned near impossible and the options available are questionably effective at best.

"Be on time for your appointment next week"

Here, I hope it will help

Right, kick ass. Well, don't want to sound like a dick or nothin', but, ah... it says on your chart that you're fucked up.

The advice is usually pretty common sense and likely nothing you haven't heard before. The main benefit is having a safe space you can discuss your anxieties with a professional and having someone who will listen with minimal judgement. Also sometimes you need to be reminded of common sense when you lose sight of it.

Basically it's a paid friendship without all the other benefits of friendship.

Honestly I wouldn't be going if it weren't fully covered by my husband's insurance.