Sometimes I wonder if my brain was already donated.
this post was submitted on 10 May 2025
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I asked the lady with no legs. She said bigger dick.
Banger post. Deaf community goes hard
Sorry, can't hear you over my massive dong.
Skeletal structure.
This implies stronger bones and stronger joints. With a stronger framework to hold your muscles, you get a sturdier body.
Having a bigger dick is overrated. Great for fantasy, but very impractical.
I'd upgrade my lungs to be better filters and oxygenate my blood. My immune system to fight diseases my efficiently (turn it into a scalpel rather than a cluster-nuke). My brain to retain it's learning capabilities well into my later years. Completely overhaul my metabolism so that I won't have to do heavy exercise to get good muscles (really, all that exercise just exists to make one chemical reaction happen).
After that, then, only then, might I consider doing something with my dick. Though perhaps more with my balls, so I can just switch off the reproductive capabilities to ensure safe sex.
It said one organ, you went on a shopping spree haha.
Hey, flesh is weak! :V
From the moment I understood
Heart failure is one of the biggest killers out there. I think you'd have a better odds of living a long life with some kind of super heart. Your heart is basically just a water pump that has to remain online for 100 years or you die fast.
That's a good point, but in my opinion the other common deaths are way worse. Cancer? Living with the anxiety of impending death and constantly getting sicker, more in pain and being nauseous from medication? Or COPD, feeling like you are suffocating slowly? Alzheimers, Parkinsons? Or my personal fear - dying from a stupid simple cold? Man, I take a heart attack any day of the week.
Yeah, I'm just thinking about the meta pick for general longevity.
I have a friend who's losing the battle with cancer right now and I didn't really appreciate how bad it would be. Both the cancer itself, and having this much forewarning. I would rather it be quick and surprise. For my sake lol screw everyone else
My brain, i hate being neurodivergent it'd be so great to just fOCUSSS
It's funny, there's a local TV program where people can anonymously ask adults and kids with various handicaps questions they wouldn't dare ask them directly and "would you rather not have it" is always one of them. The adults always dodge the question by saying that it's not as bad as it seems and so on and then the kids always reply like you did "I would much rather not have any issues!"
The adults: I learned to live with it and now it became part of my identity
The kids: this sucks! everyone's mean to me and the world makes no sense!
I'd upgrade the depression away from my brain and give myself the ability for hyperfocus at will and to turn off sensory issues. Taking the autism and ADHD away altogether would leave me a different human, idk that almost feels like dying a little bit, or being lobotomized. Wouldn't want to lose a part of my brain that makes me me. But super valid to want to be neurotypical!
Thinking about it, if it counts as an organ, idk if I wouldn't rather change my immune system to stop attacking healthy tissue and get better at attacking viruses instead. Tough choice.
Aren’t those 3 things though?
One organ, not one thing.
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Upgrade my liver, stay drunk for the next 3 years and 9 months.
Wouldn't being able to enter a coma on demand be more useful ? Wake up in 4 years...
Isn't that backwards? The liver filters alcohol out of the body. I would think an upgraded liver would sober you up quicker.
Rethinking this... no. I'm UPGRADING the liver to keep me drunk for 3 years and 9 months to not be sober. The upgrade is drunk and not dying, and another part of the upgrade is filtering out all the additional calories.
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Gosh, only thing I can think of is self-repairing telomeres.
Everything else is perfect, might as well live for hundreds of years.
Everything else is perfect? You don't have joints?
Just an immortal pile of goo.
Goals.
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Classic.
Sinuses. Those fuckers are overdue for an upgrade. Can you imagine never being congested again?
Brain is the right answer but sinuses are #2.
Can I just say “my immune system”? That’d prevent all kinds of diseases and make you cancer proof!
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my skin, i think the one organ that protects all the other organs is long overdue for an upgrade