this post was submitted on 18 Apr 2025
27 points (93.5% liked)

Ask

499 readers
129 users here now

Rules

  1. Be nice
  2. Posts must be legitimate questions (no rage bait or sea lioning)
  3. No spam
  4. NSFW allowed if tagged
  5. No politics
  6. For support questions, please go to [email protected]

Icon by Hilmy Abiyyu A.

founded 1 month ago
MODERATORS
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 days ago

Like I'd give away the best hiding spots. Nice try gestapo, you ain't gonna catch me with anything.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 days ago

What are the rules?

If there are none, I'd hide it in the pattern buffer.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 days ago

Up my ass and around the corner. They'll never think to look there.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 days ago
[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 days ago

Unbolt the toilets and lift them. There's spaces in the base you could probably stuff more than 100 bills in each toilet. Bolt them back down again.

[–] [email protected] 38 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Would 10k even cover the damage the searchers are going to do to my home when looking for the money?

[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Yeah, if the searchers are only allowed to "look", but not disassemble anything, the challenge is easy, as long as bills aren't visible. If the searchers are allowed to tear my home apart, I'm handing over the 10k as soon as they arrive, and wishing them good day.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago

Even then, I'm not sure 10k is enough for me to allow randoms in my house.

I'd rather not lose random items to sticky fingers.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 week ago

Put a vest on one of my cats and put it in one of the pockets. Lil buggers disappear into the mirror dimension when strangers come around.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Give it to my youngest kid. She'll put it somewhere where nobody can find it. Unfortunately this would also mean we can't find it either.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago

It'd be a wonderful surprise in the future though

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 week ago (1 children)

That depends on whether I can separate the bills and keep the ones they don't find, or if it's an all or nothing system. There's a loose floorboard in one room, so if it's all or nothing, I'd lift that and chuck the package as far as possible under there, replace the board, then mess up multiple other places in the house.

If they can be separated, there are 100 notes, and they're individually going in every gap, crevase and hole I can find. Between the floor boards, under carpeting, in the gaps in the bottom of the couch, I have a stapler, so pop the bases loose on some chairs, then restaple them shut, tape them under floor level cupboards. I'd have to move fast, but their unlikely to find everything, so I'd be finding random $100 notes for ages afterwards, because there no way I'd remember everywhere I put them.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago

I like this idea, there's no way they'll find them all. They'll find some and you'll still have a tidy profit

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)

So how’d it go cheese toastie? Were you able to hide it successfully?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

Am booking my flight to the Maldives as we speak!

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Some stupid ideas:

  • Roll the bills and stuff them into a condom. Shove it up my ass. It might feel uncomfortable for the next couple of hours, and a few more hours after that, but hey, 10k USD, right?

  • I have a bunk bed that is made out of hollow metal tubes. Roll the bills, insert into a plastic bag and drop it into one of the vertical tubes holding the bed up. It should fall all the way down, with no way to see it unless you already know it has fallen inside it.

  • Put the bills (flat) inside a plastic ziploc bag and shove it inside my PC. I'll insert it between my SSD, or underneath the motherboard.

Of those ideas, I quite like the first two. Easiest to do is the second one, so that's probably what I'd do.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I think you are underestimating how thick the roll would be, unless you trained your ass very hard you won't be able to shove it there. Second one sounds good!

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago

I was actually thinking “It's just 100 × $100 bills, how thick can it be?” until I did the calculations just now. I found the value of 0.0043 in for the thickness of a 100 USD bill somewhere online and did the calculations.

(10 000 USD) × (1 bill / 100 USD) × (0.0043 in / 1 bill) 
= 0.430 in
≈ 1.0922 cm

I greatly underestimated the thickness of a stack of 100 USD bills. At just over a centimeter thick, I doubt I can even roll using the short side (for a smaller circumference).

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Inside a box of wet wipes. Take out half the wipes, put the money (inside a baggie) in the tub, put some of the remaining wipes on top, and chuck it the storage bin under the bathroom sink with the extra shower liners and that value-sized jug of hand soap. It's such a mundane place that most people wouldn't think to look there. And the remaining wet wipes could go in a baggie in your pocket, so there's no evidence the wipes were tampered with.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Klem you're a freaking genius!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

Haha I try!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Hidden around the door frame of the front door. They'll walk right past it on the way in.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago

That's really clever! I approve

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Slip them into some ziplock baggies and bury them inside the mass of leaves clogging my gutters and downspouts.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

You might risk disqualification on the "in your home" technicality.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

One could argue gutters are apart of your home thus being inside the gutters means inside the home.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 days ago

apart

I think it's "a part" in this case. "Apart" means "separate", which is kind of the opposite of the point you're making.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago

take the dishwasher/washing machine apart and put it in the hollows.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago

Vacuum seal it with a small steel plate I have to add some weight. Drop it in the water softener tank and put a bag of salt on top of it.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago

The tail on my tail buttplug. They will spend their time checking my asshole and never be the wiser.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago

Pull a lightswitch cover off and slip them into the gap and into the wall.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago

He's onto us...abort! Abort!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago

I have a cupboard filled with old papers, folders etc. I'm going to put it in a battered old envelope and chuck it in there. Hide it in plain sight. There's so much shit in there it'll take ages to sort, plus I'll leave false clues other places.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago

Maybe put it in a bag and chuck it on the roof?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago

Fridge condenser area

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago

I'd stuff it anywhere really.

It's kind of a mess in here... sorry.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Behind the laundry machine, where it can join the socks in the Lost Sock Dimension.

In the innards of my antique sewing machine, which is currently hanging upside down under its sewing table. The table is covered in stuff.

Behind the drawers of my locked filling cabinet.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 days ago (1 children)

If you put it in the lost sock dimension you'll never see it again

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 days ago

Or maybe it'll show up, a bill at a time, over the course of years. That'd be nice.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

I'd separate it into individual bills and hide in half-assed places. Searchers would end up scrambling and getting sloppy, rushing to find bills before anybody else. Like an Easter egg hunt, their greed would be their undoing, because I can tell you from experience that 2hr is not enough time to find 100 of anything in a madhouse, even $100 bills.

But also money in my country are coated plastic so perhaps I could hide a portion of it in the shower trap, which is easy to quickly hide (but gross). The easily found Easter Cash would discourage anybody slowing down enough to be thorough. Consider the mind games an investment.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

The chances of lasting go way up if you are able to hide it in your car. If it doesn't need to be started or run, there are a whole lot of places that won't get checked without taking the engine apart. Upper and lower radiator hoses are the first to come to mind. Oil and transmission pan are the next options. There is often even room under the intake.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

Inside a p-trap. Or if I have something like fishing line, further down the pipe. Wherever I can tie it down and be obscured by all the gunk.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

In my rec...room

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Ummmm, do people not already have hidden storage?

Like, places purpose built to be very hard to locate, isolated from damage, and big enough to hold emergency supplies like cash and certain useful objects if the house is invaded like that.

I kinda assumed with lemmy being what it is, it would be a fairly common practice since they aren't that hard to install.

An example might be a small section under a house with a false wall. Or maybe a section of insulation in an attic that's in an out of the way corner and can be cover for a small safe. Stuff like that.

Am I really that far off from the crowd here?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Who do you think is on Lemmy?

It's not that much of a hive for the paranoid and mentally unwell.

It's mostly just people who got sick of Reddit.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago

Who said anything about paranoid and mentally unwell, or are you just trying to be an asshole?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago (3 children)

This wouldn’t even require hidden storage. A stack of 100 $100 bills would only be about 16cm X 6.5 cm x 1.1 cm and weigh about 100 grams. That’s smaller than a VHS tape.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Oh, in that case yes I would use my usual secret hiding place for cash. (it has much less than that sadlol)

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›