this post was submitted on 09 Apr 2025
236 points (94.0% liked)

traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns

3096 readers
3 users here now

Rules

1.) No bigotry of any kind, and don't be a jerk either

Bigotry includes but is not limited to: ableism, casteism, homophobia, lookism, queerphobia, racism, sexism, transphobia, and xenophobia. Bigotry towards non-binary people is transphobia. Truscum rhetoric is also bigotry. You getting punished for your hateful opinion, however, is not bigotry.

2.) No Spam

This includes both advertising and breaking your or my Lemmy instance's rules, such as vote manipulation or brigading.

3.) Posts must have something to do with being trans, or about trans experiences

Try to stay away from negative political events too. You can joke about it, but bringing attention to something bad happening in the world might take someone out of their comfort zone— this is an escape from the constant news cycle for some.

4.) No Selfies or Character Creations

Selfies are not memes! This is not a community for selfies. Picrews and other character creations such as Sims and Mii's are considered bandwagoning, and perhaps can be a part of a different community.

5.) SFW-only

This is an all ages community, so we prefer it if you take the NSFW stuff to one of the more adult oriented communities. Note: nudity is not allowed, we want everybody to be comfortable here.

6.) Submissions must be a meme or they will be removed
7.) Swearing is fine, but slurs are not

We want everybody to feel safe and comfortable here, so even if you want to reclaim a pejorative word that applies to you— we ask that you don't, as this is a light-hearted community and others stumbling across your post might feel unsafe.

8.) Embedded submissions should only link to trusted image sharing sites, no IP grabbers or link shorteners
9.) Use but don't misuse the report button

If something breaks these rules, or this Lemmy instance's rules, please report it.

10.) Please do not link to any terf, racist, or any other hate communities or forums

Bigots like those do not deserve any attention. Any post or comment linking to a hate community or forum will be removed

11.) Don't be a jerk nor a troll

Be nice, and don't create social chaos. That's it. Pretty simple, huh?

Some notes:

1.) We highly encourage you to use alt text in your posts, so everybody can enjoy this community
2.) It would be really nice if you flaired your posts accordingly in the title

For example, a meme about the non-binary experience could have a title like this: "[NB] Story of my life!" This will make searching for content much easier.

3.) Don't break the law

This includes the country you live in as well as the country your instance is hosted in

Sibling forums:

!egg_irl

Trans memes specifically about being closeted, unaware or in denial

!196

Ordinary memes, but the community is very trans-accepting— and it only has one rule: when you encounter the page you must post a meme from your camera roll

founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
 
all 29 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 42 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Just say they, it's worked for centuries.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 3 days ago (3 children)

Or thou. What hath thou whispered upon the spicy wind?

[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 days ago

How art thou enjoying thy paint chips?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Yeah, that's if you want to be formal tho.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Funny enough, for centuries “thou” was the more intimate and less formal way to say “you.” It took on an air of formality when it fell out of common use and remained only in older works associated with institutional authority. 🌈

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 days ago

So, we need to start bringing it back as a main part of our vocabulary? Thou has made my day fun.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 days ago

For real, it simplifies everything. There are so many situations where gender is unknown or irrelevant, and they is a well-established convention.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 days ago (2 children)

I clicked on your name and see nothing. I'm guessing this is because you're not on mbin?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago

Omg you're right. It's actually because I don't know how to do it in voyager so now I did it in my browser. <3

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 days ago

Omg you're right. It's actually because I don't know how to do it in voyager so now I did it in my browser. <3

[–] [email protected] 24 points 3 days ago

"i absolutely fucking hate that (checks notes) guy"

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 days ago (1 children)

someone called me "you bitch" the other day (in jest, I was teasing them) and I just... it felt nice. gender affirming profanities. who knew?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 days ago

I usually go for the classic "You mf"

[–] [email protected] 20 points 3 days ago

Mm not misgendering, my favourite :3

[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 days ago (1 children)

People don't even check the name of the person they are replying to. From the signature or from the account itself. And just write whatever they come up with. So I don't really expect anything from them :(

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 days ago (1 children)

True, and it seems most assume they’re interacting with their own gender, which isn’t always the case.

Technical limitations may contribute to the problem. Many instances and clients won’t show things like avatars, bios, and instance-specific fields like pronouns due to privacy policies or resource limitations. For example, on voyager (popular client) all I can see about any user is the name, modlog, and post history.

To see a full profile, I can open a browser tab and navigate to their instance, but sometimes even then I’m prompted for my instance login, which usually entails a delay for manual review.

If all else fails, I try to skim the post history for mention of their pronouns or avoid gender-coded wording entirely. Unless we’re discussing gender specifically, the latter is rarely difficult.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 days ago (2 children)

I assume everyone online is a guy, and it's not because I'm a guy! Everyone also assumes I'm a guy, even with this username almost everywhere. Hmmm.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

Good point, I’ve also seen that in many online spaces, especially ones like Re**** and lemmy. While I assume it’s mostly laziness (“usually guy” harder than “always guy”) there’s also the fact that gender neutrality to most is male-coded because [tedious rant about patriarchal society].

Edit: grammar

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

It's been the way since I started online, oh so long ago before Eternal September...but yes. I think because guys tend to be more outspoken about being a guy? I normally don't respond if someone calls me a guy or whatever, because it's generally safer to just go along with it. Why, as a women, would I want to draw attention to that when it just means harassment and such generally? And I'm not like subtle and have a username that you could go "probably a guy" cause Rebekah is only ever a female coded name, I think? Ah I'm rambling. Such a splitting headache this morning. Hope you're doing well.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago

outspoken about being guys

Hmm, I hadn’t considered that, but it tracks. The popular aspects of contemporary male gender identity are hard for me to understand. Often it strikes me as trauma-related pathology, as if boys were socialized poorly on purpose to serve an imagined need in society like war.

I’ve definitely seen many examples of what you’re talking about, though, like this apparent need to be perceived as not just male but the most male, but I don’t have a good theory for where it comes from.

normally just go along with it

Yeah I do the same, and tend to go with whatever gender others assume, but then gender-bending is kind of my jam. It’s more important to others to have a stable, recognizable gender identity, and I’m pretty sure I get it.

rebekah is usually a female name

Re: people online totally ignoring your username, honestly that sounds like par. People’s attention is spread more thinly these days, and anyway the average person is just very average. Especially in online spaces trending male, its easier to just assume, so people do. For me, incoming gender assumptions are the mystery prize in each box of cracker jacks, but I’m privileged to be tall and rarely worry about physical safety.

headache

Well it’s almost the weekend so party on. I’ll meet you there.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

It's easier to assume everyone online is a guy and still use gender neutral pronouns though. I think it's also a language problem that people weren't really used to using gender neutral pronouns in general so they resist it. I wonder if the problem is more pronounced in languages where everything has to be gendered.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago

Oh, I try and call people online beings! Hello being, how are you! It either annoys the being or amuses the heck outta them. Gendered languages seem like they'd be a lot more difficult to disentangle such things from. I think I'm glad English isn't then, even though English sucks in just so many ways?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 days ago

yisyisyisssyis! dis is de way!!!! vrrir dis much!!! 11>v<

[–] [email protected] 0 points 3 days ago (2 children)

I'm not 100% sure I get this. Is the point the added effort/latency/overhead, too many neopronouns, or that someone might change their gender on a daily/hourly basis?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I think the context is talking to a stranger for the first time, hence needing to check pronouns.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 days ago

Thanks, that helps. That's not the context/situation that I was imagining.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 days ago

The point is that it is very easy to check someone's pronouns and avoid misgendering them, presented in a humorous format