I like the idea of calling American football “handegg”.
this post was submitted on 06 Apr 2025
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Gridiron. There’s also Rugby, Australian rules, and Canadian Rules Football. Most of the world plays association football.
Also international rules football, which is technically international but only between Ireland and Australia
100% better
It’s because soccer is more of a southern English slang for football so it was never in parlance across the country (the UK never “switched” from soccer to football).
There are many games of football: rugby league, rugby union, association football etc.
Association, contracted to assoc / soc.
And around Oxford, people like to add ‘-er’ to things. Rugby = rugger. Association football = soccer. Freshman = fresher.
There’s no denying the UK has a bias in the media and literature, especially in the past, to southerners. Thus soccer became quite common in writing and thus exported widely across the world.
But when many of the best football teams in the UK are northern, it’s understandable that the posh southern slang for the game was never widely regarded and remains ridiculed to this day.
posh southern slang
Worth putting the posh part in the first line too, definitely a very public school thing to call it soccer.
And for any confused non-brits reading, "public" schools are private schools. We named them wrong for a joke.
lol that just sounds like capitalism in the US where “freedom to choose internet” bill is actually freedom for a private corporation to choose where they have monopolies and therefore they get to choose where they sell their internet
A public school in England and Wales is a type of fee-charging private school originally for older boys. The schools are "public" from a historical schooling context in the sense of being open to pupils irrespective of locality, denomination or paternal trade or profession or family affiliation with governing or military service, and also not being run for the profit of a private owner.
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“public” schools are private schools
Despite having invented the English language, you Brits are really bad at it
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Soccer? Football? What does--
Oh! You mean fútbol!
Flip-floppy ball.
Lawn foosball
Because you kick the bol with your fút
Well, in fairness, the rest of us non-native English speakers also make fun of "soccer" and we don't particularly care where the soccerers in question are from.
From that point of view, and it sure is a certain point of view, the Brits just figured out the rest of us were mocking you faster. This, I imagine, is also why they started getting into the metric system at some point.
Colo(u)r me surprised.
Shockingly, nations aren't monoliths.
Football was the name the players used.
Soccer was the name used by people looking down on them and legislating against them.
And then we exported "sakkaa" to Japan, but don't worry Japan we won't abandon you like the English and hop on the "football" bandwagon.
Who’s more foolish, the fool or the fool who follows him?
Imagine if the us switched to calling soccer football. What would the us call American football then? It would be weird to call it American football in America
Gridiron it's a much cooler name anyway
Rugby for cowards
Call it handegg
But then what would they call rugby which is also played with a prolate spheroid called a “ball” which can be carried in the hand or kicked?
Canadian and American football are descendants of rugby.
American gridiron football.
Handball
Handball is already a sport, albeit more an "in the park with your friends" kind of thing than "arenas and shit lol."
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Soccer is just short for as_soc_iation football, so we kind of also call it football.
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Exact same thing with aluminum. Officially named by the Brits, then other Brits didn’t like it.
The revised name is better though:
- Helium
- Lithium
- Beryllium
- Sodium
- Magnesium
And the next should be...? If an element ends in "um" there's normally an "i" before the "um". We should also fix Molybdenum, Lanthanum and Tantalum while we're at it. There are 80 elements with an "ium" ending, but only 3 or 4 (depending on if you say Aluminum or Aluminium) without the "i".
Also, screw it, #79 should be Aurium.
We should also fix Molybdenum, Lanthanum and Tantalum while we're at it
Add Platinum to that list. It is now Platinium.
#79 should be Aurium
And #47 should be Argentium.
I don’t really care what it’s called, just that the Brits have a habit (is two a habit?) of making up a word, using it until Americans adopt it, and then dropping it and saying “dumb Americans”. Not that that’s actually what happened, as I detail in my comment below, but it sure does feel that way.
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This behavior hardly seems cricket.
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