this post was submitted on 18 Feb 2026
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They don't, not enough sodium in coconut juice for one thing.
I guess you first use the clean juice to make the wounded stop dying long enough so you can stitch what's left of them together, and if they wake up you could tuck a salt pill under their tongue.
Yeah it's actually a really shitty substitute for blood, it's just slightly less shitty than dying. It was all about keeping the blood pressure high enough so that what little blood you had would work. Coconut water was one of the only things that could do that without also killing you. It's still a very bad day
Well you could always go the boiled water and some salt route. "Yo dog I heard you liked shock so I infused some water with bacteria antigens in it so you could go into shock while you're going into shock."
Way too much potassium too (and gives a hint as to why it burns at the infusion site just like a k run would). It's like d5w with potassium and mag. Potentially quite deadly over the long term. Thankfully the glucose in the coconut water treats hyperkalemia or it would be deadly in the short term.