I value personality but I feel like my secret obsession with lady parts would only make others either back away slowly or run to get away from me.
I know that being attracted to them is normal but this feels next level.
Some of the lewd content that I collect is mundane, but some of it is more abstract and involves photographs of furniture, jewellery, desserts, and other things in… “interesting” shapes. Additionally, I do graphic design in my spare time and I have made some unusual creations inspired by lady parts, including a virtual pinball table.
I feel guilty about my obsession, not because it’s sexual, but because it sounds disturbing. Also, I feel like I must be a shallow person who is not interesting for more than five minutes. I certainly have a few other interests, but this secret one is special to me.
Is this an instant turn-off that I should hide as much as possible? I’ve seen jokes ridiculing guys for being breast-obsessed but I am too socially awkward to tell if it is more the obsession itself or the apparent disinterest in both personality and meaningful relationships that turns people off.
Update: I’m surprised at how many comments this thread received and how many users wanted to see my pinball table! I restricted it to private messages partly because I assumed that NSFW images were forbidden here, and partly because I used numerous other artists’ assets without permission (I had not intended to publish it anyway).
That said, a moderator told me that I could share it provided that I marked the topic NSFW and I credited the artists whose work I used. I modified a small part of it based on one of your suggestions. Click here to see it!
This sort of thing is something I've read feminist theory about. Not crazed sex fiends, but the refutation of the idea that it's unfeminist for a woman to be a pervert about women. Sex positive feminism came out of this rejection of purity and originated with lesbians who enjoyed casual sex, bdsm, and other dirty stuff.
Straight feminism sometimes has a lysistratic bent in part because one of the ways patriarchy exerts dominance over women is through sexual violence, coercion, and pushing the consequences of sex primarily onto women. A lot of internal politics later this manifests as waves between reclamation and rejection of sexuality. This unfortunately spills over into lesbians.
Yonic art and imagery have a long and storied tradition in lesbian culture and community. I've known breast obsessed women (I actually can be that way myself), butt obsessed women of all orientations, and genital obsessed women of all orientations. Should you be putting this foot first? Probably not unless you're in a very sex focused space (but if you are, you absolutely can). But it's not something you necessarily need to hide.
I'll also add, I suspect that this interest is amplified by the shame and feeling the need to hide it. I have friends who write porn and until they stopped feeling shame it looked a lot more like an obsession than a hobby and an interest.
But yeah, especially if you're making yonic art, look for community about it. If you're looking for casual lesbian sex, look for community about it. Knowing you aren't alone or bad is the biggest thing you can do about it.