I don't know where to begin, so I'm just going to put words on 'paper'
I'm 33 and got out of a serious relationship ~6 months ago.
I'm looking for someone to spend the rest of my life with, and recently met someone that is a perfect fit for me on paper in so many ways however there is a thought or feeling I just can't escape. I feel there is a lack of chemistry/attraction.
My new potential partner and I have been seeing each other for about a month, and have spent many days and nights together.
She is objectively good looking and anyone would be lucky to have her multiple of my friends have said wow she's really pretty when they've met her however I don't feel the chemistry/attraction and I think I know where it comes from.
My ex was extremely feminine and we had insane chemistry from the start, the new potential partner I'm dating isn't feminine and is quite masculine in physical and behavioral ways and I think that's a turn off for me.
I didn't even realize femininity mattered this much to me.
I feel insane for thinking of breaking things off with an objectively attractive, successful women who's logistics fit so well with mine it's honestly like finding a needle in a haystacks.
I feel stuck constantly fighting questions like:
- Am I just full of shit and looking for a unicorn that doesn't exist?
- Should I listen to my heart and feelings and let go of this because it doesn't feel right?
- I'm getting old and want to settle down, should I priorities logistics and accept good enough?
- Am I just overly picky? Can I afford to be this picky?
My heart is telling me one thing, my head another. Help
I don't feel comfortable asking someone to be more feminine.
I feel people should accept each other for who they are and how they are, I'd hate to ask someone to change to fit what feels like shallow needs of mine.
You should not ask her to change who she is, no. But you can ask her to temporarily change how she acts, for an evening. If still that's a no-go for you, I respect that, just trying to offer an experiment.