this post was submitted on 24 Nov 2025
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Programmer Humor
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Real programmers are language agnostic. Anyways what's the project?
We're writing an online banking service entirely in brainfuck. Backend, frontend, even middleend if we have to
I enjoy the contradiction of middleend
The middlemiddle
E: My backend don't middlemiddle, it forks
It took me a solid half-dozen tries not to pronounce it "mid-leend." After that much effort, I decided to let my dumb brain win and go with it.
Would you take a Quake-like written in Pascal?
For something you're getting paid for, sure. But if you're contributing in your free time for fun or whatever, presumably you'd prefer to use a language you actually like.
Yes and no. "Real" programmers care about engineering choices ; and JS is the cardboard of programming languages.
Perfect for packaging (which in this metaphor is UI), horrible for building a bridge with. And vice-versa, I wouldn't try and make amazon packaging out of reinforced concrete.
But for fun both bridge out of cardboard and packaging out of concrete might work, tastes differ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Real programmers will write in a way that user’s resources are not being wasted because you need a full browser, a JS runtime, and DOM juggling, to show even the simplest application.
It’s not rare for simple JS applications to consume over half a gigabyte of RAM on startup, and way more CPU than their native counterparts. That this was normalized and even defended is stupid.
I think you’re thinking of Electron apps, but that’s not really a criticism of JavaScript, that’s a criticism of Electron. There are plenty of JS platforms that don’t require a browser/DOM. React Native is the biggest example. Also, GJS if you want native Linux apps.
Node does not require an excessive amount of resources.
Thought terminating sentence.
It can't be a programming humor post without somehow even more mind-numbing stuff in the comments. Just part of the fun
More like, no true scotsman
Real carpenters don't walk away from a job because the hammer is their least favorite brand.
their least favourite hammer brand:
Real carpenters bring their own hammer.
I once had a hammer head get loose and fly off the handle.
But if the screws are nails.
Sorry, but Rust triggers me way too much.
the bash language server is in nodejs...
And it shouldn't
I always knew I am not a real programmer
Also real programmers have impostor's syndrome.