this post was submitted on 21 Nov 2025
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[–] KAtieTot@lemmy.blahaj.zone -1 points 3 days ago (3 children)

There's no difference between a gay man and a straight man, outside of specifically who they're trying to fuck. Suggesting someone might be one or the other isn't harmful, since there's no real way to tell without asking.

Telling a man they didn't pass is rude af.

I don't see how those can be equivocated. Sexual preference and gender identity are different things defined, characterized, and experienced in wildly different ways.

[–] stray@pawb.social 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)

If straight and gay men are so similar then what made your hypothetical friend seem gay to you? Are you implying that society associates certain behaviors with sexuality and that you observed gay-coded behavior in him?

[–] KAtieTot@lemmy.blahaj.zone -2 points 2 days ago

Read it again because that's not what I'm saying

[–] Credibly_Human@lemmy.world 10 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

You literally mention the difference but then want to ignore the implications of that difference.

Gay men and Straight men generally have differences on average in what they do to attract perceived partners past the baselines of having a pulse and being a functional human being.

[–] KAtieTot@lemmy.blahaj.zone -2 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Yes, but that's all social and varies person to person, region to region, etc. Even if there are typical differences, that's not a rule. Which is the point.

[–] Lifter@discuss.tchncs.de 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)

So in one sentence you say there is no way to tell, in the next you say there are differences, then back to "it's hard to define, therefore there are no differences at all".

[–] KAtieTot@lemmy.blahaj.zone -2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

There's no way to definitively tell but you can still make assumptions based on appearences? Fuck off ffs

[–] Lifter@discuss.tchncs.de 3 points 2 days ago

Exactly. You are contradicting yourself.

[–] Credibly_Human@lemmy.world 1 points 2 days ago

Even if there are typical differences, that’s not a rule. Which is the point.

Something not being a rule doesnt make it locally insignificant. People in these various regions and cultures all have general ideas of how they would like to outwardly present themselves.

[–] LaLuzDelSol@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I get what you mean, and certainly you never know for sure if someone is straight or gay when you first get to know them... but are you saying you never make assumptions based on how someone dresses, talks, carries themselves, and interacts with the men and women around them?

[–] KAtieTot@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 2 days ago

No, I'm more saying that those traits vary from person to person and you can't know until you ask. Assumptions and preconceived notions are how we deal with not having definitive information