this post was submitted on 19 Jun 2025
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"Easy to Use". I certainly hope so, it's a fucking spray bottle. What's the hard to use option? Waiting until a new moon to summon Ba-Kok, God of Chickens to ask for a stay of cannibalism?
Bruh, if there's a "spray" AND "stream" option on my spray bottle, I'll just lock up with indecision. Ease of use is very important when dealing with spray bottles.
Do you need to cover a larger area? Spray.
Do you need precision, or to get a hard to reach spot? Stream.
Understanding what we need is the first step of action.
ARISE CHICKEN
CHICKEN ARISE
Super mega chicken? No, is legend.
Arise!
The "hard" option is to just get rid of the hen that turned cannibal. It's going to be just one, unless you're running an egg factory level operation. Give the hens more space and actual yard time, and most will stop pecking. The one that doesn't goes in the soup pot.
Do cannibal chickens taste more like chicken, if you are what you eat? Can I compress a hyperchicken if I create a gu pot of chickens with the most chicken-rific umami flavour.
Simpsons did it (kind of)
Ffs, leave something for the rest of us!
The real questions, can we make hyerchicken hyperramen?
Sure, but it's easier to just add a pinch of msg.
You think I'm in the "hyperchicken gu pot" game because it's easy?
Maximum cruelty, maximum flavor.
I mean, it could come in suppository form....
Have you tried shoving something up a species cloaca?
We'd have more dead chicken farmers.
Giggity
Well then good news!
Rise, chicken. Chicken, arise.
Oops you drew the summoning sigils wrong again.
This keeps getting funnier the more times I read it. Good show.
I think i just got to that part of Cult of the Lamb
No, it's only possible to talk to Ba-Kok, praise be His name, when the planets align.
It's serious business. The paperwork is a nightmare though. The rich farmers have lawyers to file the appropriate writs, petitions, and incantations to stay the cannibalism. For those without the money, going before Ba-Kok can be intimidating and challenging.