this post was submitted on 21 Aug 2024
885 points (98.8% liked)

People Twitter

9579 readers
1775 users here now

People tweeting stuff. We allow tweets from anyone.

RULES:

  1. Mark NSFW content.
  2. No doxxing people.
  3. Must be a pic of the tweet or similar. No direct links to the tweet.
  4. No bullying or international politcs
  5. Be excellent to each other.
  6. Provide an archived link to the tweet (or similar) being shown if it's a major figure or a politician. Archive.is the best way.

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] TheMightyCanuck@sh.itjust.works 75 points 2 years ago (5 children)

If it's the uline jumbo rolls my work gets... Please don't.

Your asshole will thank me

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 63 points 2 years ago (6 children)

You just gotta keep using it until your anus naturally builds up callouses.

[–] TheMightyCanuck@sh.itjust.works 29 points 2 years ago

I rarely physically shudder from text

[–] bobs_monkey@lemm.ee 8 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I too try to only shit on company time

They're called union shits around here. Even if you're not in one lol.

Also combine shitty to with expensive bidet. Best of both worlds.

[–] SynopsisTantilize@lemm.ee 8 points 2 years ago (1 children)

My wife keeps telling me that...

[–] ZoopZeZoop@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Why? What is she planning for your anus that requires callouses? You should inquire. That sounds suspicious!

[–] SynopsisTantilize@lemm.ee 4 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Just know that she won't answer and I'm scared.

[–] ZoopZeZoop@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago

Do you need us to call someone for you?

Sounds exciting!

[–] RoquetteQueen@sh.itjust.works 7 points 2 years ago

If you don't use a bidet, your butthole is already calloused. I learned this the first time I pooped in a normal toilet after getting my bidet.

[–] Zoidsberg@lemmy.ca 3 points 2 years ago (2 children)

I think this is the worst thing I've ever read

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago

Thank you, and you're welcome.

[–] Empricorn@feddit.nl 2 points 2 years ago

What a terrible day to have eyes.

[–] waz@lemmy.world 19 points 2 years ago

Is it the high gloss stuff, or the 80 grit option?

[–] henfredemars@infosec.pub 10 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Does it flake like a French pastry?

[–] cocobean@sh.itjust.works 26 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I only wipe my ass with croissants to keep my cheeks buttery smooth

[–] Nfamwap@lemmy.world 18 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I'm fairly certain those words have never been uttered in that order in the entirety of human history. Bravo.

[–] Fermion@feddit.nl 8 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] bobs_monkey@lemm.ee 5 points 2 years ago

It's a terrible day for Canada, and therefore the world

[–] ZoopZeZoop@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago

The toilet paper or his asscheeks?

My old work ordered everything from uline, and I started bringing in my own TP specifically because of how awful it is to use that tissue paper.

Legitimately feels like tissue paper that people stuff gift bags with.

But at the same time, almost slippery.

And you WILL know if you creased the paper the wrong way, because it WILL stab at you with the force of ten thousand teeny tiny needles.

[–] BarbecueCowboy@lemmy.world 7 points 2 years ago

Plus side, it's basically impossible to clog your toilet with that stuff. It's effectively pipe grease.