Men's Liberation
This community is first and foremost a feminist community for men and masc people, but it is also a place to talk about men’s issues with a particular focus on intersectionality.
Rules
Everybody is welcome, but this is primarily a space for men and masc people
Non-masculine perspectives are incredibly important in making sure that the lived experiences of others are present in discussions on masculinity, but please remember that this is a space to discuss issues pertaining to men and masc individuals. Be kind, open-minded, and take care that you aren't talking over men expressing their own lived experiences.
Be productive
Be proactive in forming a productive discussion. Constructive criticism of our community is fine, but if you mainly criticize feminism or other people's efforts to solve gender issues, your post/comment will be removed.
Keep the following guidelines in mind when posting:
- Build upon the OP
- Discuss concepts rather than semantics
- No low effort comments
- No personal attacks
Assume good faith
Do not call other submitters' personal experiences into question.
No bigotry
Slurs, hate speech, and negative stereotyping towards marginalized groups will not be tolerated.
No brigading
Do not participate if you have been linked to this discussion from elsewhere. Similarly, links to elsewhere on the threadiverse must promote constructive discussion of men’s issues.
Recommended Reading
- The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love by bell hooks
- Politics of Masculinities: Men in Movements by Michael Messner
Related Communities
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I have a friend who has quit porn entirely because he has felt addicted to it in the past and the only way he feels he can quit is to quit cold-turkey. I think it's possible to have an unhealthy relationship to porn and to develop a more healthy relationship to it without quitting entirely; he feels like that's not possible for him. Do you feel like it's possible for you to have a healthy relationship to porn at all?
I also wonder if pornography use is something you talk to your friends about at all. It's something that for many years was almost impossible for me to talk about because I felt so much shame around it. Do you relate to that?
You can consume porn and not be addicted. But if you managed to get addicted to porn, it will be incredible hard to return to a non addictive behavior when it comes to porn consumption. Kind of the whole point of being addicted is that you can't regulate your behavior on your own anymore.
Generally, porn is like booze. Too much can lead to negative consequences, but a little probably won't hurt.
But there are confounding factors:
Porn isn't real. It's cartoons for adults. Building your sexual expectations around it is unrealistic.
Depending on what you watch, it can be pretty degrading. See 1.
It gives the impression that sex is the same as intimacy and love. If you don't have healthy role models for romantic relationships, this can be a problem. I speak from experience.
OnlyFans &c are built on extracting money from lonely dudes. If someone is already in a bad spot, it can exacerbate their problems.
Some of the people in porn are treated badly, and end up worse of as a result.
In terms of positives: My sex ed classes didn't admit the existence of the clit or cunnilingus. So porn has had at least a minor positive impact on my sex life (and that of my partners).