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Sleeping with the nanny less than half your age isn't a great start for a discussion of power dynamics in a sexual relationship.
I'm not going to assume anything either way, bo the women deserve to be heard, at the very least.
Agreed, but in my experience people in their early twenties can be surprisingly experienced and conscious kinksters, able to voice consent and negotiate intense situations. While people in their fourties can be incredibly insecure, unable to communicate their needs and insecurities, while still wanting to play.
It's a matter of experience, self-awareness and skills, and those don't come with age, but with work on yourself and education. We need so much more sex education and communication about these things.
The woman in question doesn't seem to be an experienced kinkster though, and she should totally be heard in any case. But the age argument distracts from the real issues, I believe.
The age matters less than the power-dynamics of her being his nanny.