this post was submitted on 03 Oct 2026
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Microblog Memes

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[–] BassTurd@lemmy.world 93 points 1 week ago (8 children)

A year or two ago, I was having a wee and was thinking about how women dry with TP and us men are just degenerates that shake it around. I jokingly thought about creating a "wankerchief" that guys could keep around and calling it a "Peter Patter".

It definitely made me giggle far too much. It's a disgusting premise to carry around a piss covered rag, but the names I thought were on point.

[–] Manjushri@piefed.social 42 points 1 week ago (1 children)

When I'm at home I always wipe after pissing. While I'd take a pass on the piss rag in my pocket idea, the name still could apply to men's underwear. After all, our underwear is soaking up that unwiped piss already.

[–] Slashme@lemmy.world -5 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Seriously? After I'm done at a urinal, I press the remaining urine out of my urethra and shake it off. There shouldn't be any stray drops if you're doing it properly.

[–] HonoraryMancunian@lemmy.world 32 points 1 week ago

Next time you get the opportunity, shake it, milk it, gooch press etc. Then take a single sheet of paper and press it flush against your pee hole. You'll still notice a small drop that would have otherwise gone in your underwear. That's why I always use a toilet if I'm able to. And urinals are gross, there's always splashback even if you can't see it.

(No shade at you specifically btw, I didn't downvote you)

[–] DrunkenDuckling@lemmus.org 9 points 1 week ago

Capillary action "pulls" the actual last drop out when your tip touches your underwear.

No amount of squeezing or pulling can 100%.

[–] GeorgimusPrime@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago

If you don't don't blot, you could end with wet pants which end up wetter when you try to clean them with a wet cloth, and then this happens: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mff3pTIKMJ8

(from the Victor Echo November episode of The Venture Bros)

[–] DrunkenDuckling@lemmus.org 22 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Im a dude and wiping with a single sheet of TP after peeing is a gamechanger Im never going back from.

[–] kestrel7_7@lemmy.world 9 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Everyone doesn’t do this? My god… 😭

[–] scytale@piefed.zip 4 points 1 week ago

I do it at home. It’s harder in public urinals because I forget to grab a sheet from the dispenser first. If there’s no one else in the restroom, I hold the band of my boxers open to avoid contact and waddle to the sink area to grab a sheet to wipe with. Bringing my own TP roll in my bag solves this issue though.

[–] DrunkenDuckling@lemmus.org 4 points 1 week ago

Ikr.... We really gotta start teaching boys actual hygiene

[–] Notyou@sopuli.xyz 7 points 1 week ago

There are dozens of us

[–] islandcoda42@lemmy.zip 5 points 1 week ago

100% highly recommend getting on board with this

[–] shartgargle@lemmy.zip 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I wanna say this was a thing on "the league"? I'm not sure what show it was on, but it definitely was and if my memory is right, it was the league.

[–] BassTurd@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago

Taco created the pee bib in The League. Great show.

[–] AI_toothbrush@lemmy.zip 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Wat? Yall dont wipe? No suprise that all your stuff gets wet

[–] Jax@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 week ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

Most guys don't wipe after peeing, yes. I do, because the thought of doing it with my underwear disgusts me, but uh... yeah I guess it just doesn't occur to most guys. Kinda like washing your hands before you touch your penis.

[–] AI_toothbrush@lemmy.zip 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I love finding out how unhygenic people are.

[–] Jax@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 week ago

It is gross. Certainly helps paint the picture that humans are just animals with the capacity for great intelligence.

[–] catsarebadpeople@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I will say two things:

  1. Just do a little push on your taint and the extra dripple comes right out.
  2. Barring that, you have to just wrap your entire dingy in a tissue or toilet paper to absorb the liquid over the next few hours. Like a lazy male tampon.
[–] DrunkenDuckling@lemmus.org 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

That "little push" never works 100% reliably, capillary action from your underwear fabric will pull more out.

Men are so fragile they'll jump through a million hoops just to avoid peeing "like a girl"....

[–] Honytawk@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 1 week ago

It has nothing to do with "peeing like a girl" and more just the efficiency of things.

A little drop is nothing in your underwear that you change every day anyway. No need to also waste paper on it.

[–] kestrel7_7@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

What did I just read

#1 is solid. #2 is ahahahaha what??

[–] notabot@piefed.social 2 points 1 week ago

Some new words just burn themselves into your brain, and this is one of those cases. I didn't need the word "wankerchief" stuck in my head, but now it is, and I keep giggling at odd times. Thanks a bunch.

[–] RampantParanoia2365@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

....do you mean like the toilet paper you just mentioned?

[–] BassTurd@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Toilet paper doesn't have a fun name.

[–] megaman@discuss.tchncs.de 4 points 1 week ago

Disagree, "shit tickets" is a funny name.

But it doesnt apply for this piss conversation...

[–] Honytawk@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 1 week ago

You mean reuse the same wankerchief?