I'm not the artist, Pizzacake is. Source
this post was submitted on 28 Sep 2026
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I remember my ex-wife telling me something similar - i wasn't even a very good husband because of my psychiatric issues which weren't fixable, but i gave her attention and wanted her to feel good. Seemingly the average hubby is failing even at this if the feedback she got back from her friends and colleagues was worth anything.
The bar for "decently responsible and kind man" seems incredibly low.
Often times it's damn near on the ground but don't worry, there's guys that still bring a shovel
Yeah, my behavior towards her never really was an issue in the relationship, it was the inability to pull my weight because of my problems, and the quirks that come with my diagnosis like being bad at receiving criticism (at least when completely unprepared to receive it - i learned to step back emotionally if being told i'd get feedback which worked good enough, but that's pretty clunky in a relationship)
If being responsible and kind was all it took, more would succeed.
Nah, some people just like to make stuff up to complain about something.
I don't think that's the case, i did not have close contact with my ex's colleages, but the 3 pairs i got to know pretty much confirmed the complaints - hubbys rather gaming all night long than caring for the newborn child or working on his education that he started years ago, using very aggressive voice when talking with their wives, not even touching anything in the household outside of making a mess and so on.
I was very bad regarding chores because of my permanent mental overload (oh how much i tried to live up to expectations only to fail again and again), but at least i tried and she recognized it (She always said the most important thing was that i kept trying. Actually, that really was the most important thing, because it helped me develop at least some skill regarding self-care). I also loved to cook elaborate meals for her, even when it stressed the fuck out of me, and was able to bake our own rye bread for about 3 years which she absolutely loved. I also always was able to make her birthday a very special event (one time i filled the entire living room with helium filled balloons over night which she really loved - we played around like children in there, and the cats were thrilled too lol).
When talking with the wives, there was an absolute absence of things like these in their marriages. I'd say their complaints were absolutely valid.