Wish me luck! I'm about 10bpm away from a heart attack ๐ญ
Edit: After removing my hoodie and revealing my top, my mother gave me the dirtiest look I've ever received from her. She complimented my jorts and belt, that was it. This sent me into a really bad dysphoric spiral. Grandma keeps misgendering me. Everyone treating me like a person feels forced. Currently crying in the bathroom. I want to die
Edit2: Mom was talking to me, asking me why I was sad. I told her, that I could never really afford the surgeries I need to pass, truly pass. She said how people get those and look funny in their 50s. She doesn't even understand what FFS is. She told me I was a normal, pretty, young girl which should have made me feel better, but just felt forced and fake.
She told me that most trans people have 0 family support while I have full support, which is true. I just sit and whine while others have it way worse. I'm such a shitty person.
She told me I have all day every day to focus on myself, so I should get a job and distract myself. Not like I haven't been trying. With my anxiety, even going to the store is a challenge. Leaving the house is a challenge. I don't know how I'd manage a job.
All in all, today sucked extremely. I'm crying in the bathroom, again, but this time I cut my arm with a pair of scissors. I hate myself. I'm leaving the party now, and I'll probably just end it when I get back. I'm such a useless existence. I want out of this world. Sorry everyone, for everything.
You look amazing, so jealous. Hope it goes well
Turns out, it didn't. Turns out it went as poorly as it possibly could have
I'm sorry but your mother telling you that you 'sit and whine while others have it way worse' is abusive behaviour. She might be doing her best but if this is it, it's not good enough.
You look amazing and I'm sorry your night didn't go well. You deserve so much better
I don't think the mom said that part.
also just please don't do anything rash. I know it's hard to find happiness in this world right now but believe me, the world is better off with you in it. if you need to rant, bitch or just get anything off your chest with no strings attached my inbox is open.
your life means something. live to spite the assholes who are putting you down; you're a fucking star.
Thank you! Hope so too.
I'm about to die ๐ญ
you'll do great. :)