this post was submitted on 18 May 2026
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In the 60s and 70s, feminists fought for the idea that people should feel free to dress and act however they wanted and not let their gender define them.
It seems like we've taken some steps backwards since then. Men wearing dresses is more accepted now, but only in the narrow confines of being trans. I don't think Kobain or Bowie ever wanted to be defined as trans, they just wanted to be themselves and challenge cultural norms.
I wouldn't agree with that wording, it's more like people see wearing a dress or a skirt as something that makes you a woman (or woman-adjacent). They don't see it as socially acceptable for a man to wear a dress or skirt not because they think it's unacceptable but because they see him as a woman, or wanting to be a woman. Trans women aren't men wearing dresses, trans women are women, who sometimes wear dresses.
The conflict here is that men (or masculine/androgynous enbies) who wear dresses aren't women and don't see themselves as such. So other people seeing them as women or wanting to be women for their fashion choices sucks. I agree that Kurt Kobain and David Bowie if they were alive today probably wouldn't want to be defined as trans. Many GNC people today face hardship because society expects them to want to be women due to how they dress. Although I have noticed that getting better. Egging and Egg culture is way less acceptable these days, and most people in the community can recognize how nasty it is to dismiss someone's identity and call them the wrong pronouns on purpose. 4 years ago I wouldn't be so sure of that because it happened so much in queer communities I felt unsafe being open about my gender non-conformity online.
There's a sort of societal pressure to present as your gender when you're trans simply because it's safer and the alternative is often being misgendered and marginalized. it's also really scary to change presentation early on so early in the transition is when you'll see many sort of "overcorrect" and go overly femme or masc, but many are perfectly happy to be gender non-conforming, and many try less hard as they get more comfortable with themselves.
There's also the growing trend of femboys or guys that present more feminine, and I see guys painting their nails more than before these days.
I think a celebrity making a gesture or doing something symbolically is really cool, but at the end of the day the real signs of a cultural shift is what regular people are doing casually, and to me it feels like there's something shifting, even if it's slow going and there's pushback.
PS the trans dress thing sounds sort of accidentally transphobic, but looking at your profile I don't think that was intentional and is just an issue of phrasing.
I've noticed that many people don't really care that much when I present feminine in public, and that it's also the same for many other femboys as well. So I think public perception of it is at least neutral. Things are getting better these days, even if it is slow. I think that until people are doing it casually though it'll always be seen as something fringe or queer. Not necessarily a bad thing, but not widely accepted as normal like how women wearing pants is.