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Community Rules
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Be nice. Assume others have good intent (within reason).
Block or ignore posts, comments, and users that irritate you in some way rather than engaging. Report if they are actually breaking community rules.
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Moderator Guidelines
Moderator Guidelines
- Don’t be mean to users. Be gentle or neutral.
- Most moderator actions which have a modlog message should include your username.
- When in doubt about whether or not a user is problematic, send them a DM.
- Don’t waste time debating/arguing with problematic users.
- Assume the best, but don’t tolerate sealioning/just asking questions/concern trolling.
- Ask another mod to take over cases you struggle with, if you get tired, or when things get personal.
- Ask the other mods for advice when things get complicated.
- Share everything you do in the mod matrix, both so several mods aren't unknowingly handling the same issues, but also so you can receive feedback on what you intend to do.
- Don't rush mod actions. If a case doesn't need to be handled right away, consider taking a short break before getting to it. This is to say, cool down and make room for feedback.
- Don’t perform too much moderation in the comments, except if you want a verdict to be public or to ask people to dial a convo down/stop. Single comment warnings are okay.
- Send users concise DMs about verdicts about them, such as bans etc, except in cases where it is clear we don’t want them at all, such as obvious transphobes. No need to notify someone they haven’t been banned of course.
- Explain to a user why their behavior is problematic and how it is distressing others rather than engage with whatever they are saying. Ask them to avoid this in the future and send them packing if they do not comply.
- First warn users, then temp ban them, then finally perma ban them when they break the rules or act inappropriately. Skip steps if necessary.
- Use neutral statements like “this statement can be considered transphobic” rather than “you are being transphobic”.
- No large decisions or actions without community input (polls or meta posts f.ex.).
- Large internal decisions (such as ousting a mod) might require a vote, needing more than 50% of the votes to pass. Also consider asking the community for feedback.
- Remember you are a voluntary moderator. You don’t get paid. Take a break when you need one. Perhaps ask another moderator to step in if necessary.
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I wouldn't agree with that wording, it's more like people see wearing a dress or a skirt as something that makes you a woman (or woman-adjacent). They don't see it as socially acceptable for a man to wear a dress or skirt not because they think it's unacceptable but because they see him as a woman, or wanting to be a woman. Trans women aren't men wearing dresses, trans women are women, who sometimes wear dresses.
The conflict here is that men (or masculine/androgynous enbies) who wear dresses aren't women and don't see themselves as such. So other people seeing them as women or wanting to be women for their fashion choices sucks. I agree that Kurt Kobain and David Bowie if they were alive today probably wouldn't want to be defined as trans. Many GNC people today face hardship because society expects them to want to be women due to how they dress. Although I have noticed that getting better. Egging and Egg culture is way less acceptable these days, and most people in the community can recognize how nasty it is to dismiss someone's identity and call them the wrong pronouns on purpose. 4 years ago I wouldn't be so sure of that because it happened so much in queer communities I felt unsafe being open about my gender non-conformity online.