Lesbians

way back when i was in 6th grade on orientation day, a girl “allison" was seated next to me in my first period science class. we began to chat and quickly became friends and she only trusted me. she gave me her number and we had a sleepover and i went to her house once. the other times i would try to go, she'd say she was busy with sports. now, maybe this should have been a hint or something that she was gonna throw me away, MAYBE, but she did say something about looking for the perfect friend who was preppy, blonde, and popular, looking just like her best friend in her old elementary school. i happened to be none of those things, but she said we could still be friends.

i guess she really had other plans though or changed a lot, because now we barely talk, she doesn't text first, and she doesn't even put in much effort in a conversation. i don't know if it's whether she's a bad texter or if she just doesn't like me.

she and the rest of my friend group started to avoid and even bully me. they already disliked me and said they never liked me and were only pretending to be my friends because i was the "weird" girl and the autistic girl. allison began to hang out with my biggest eighth grade bully, addison (they both had similar names IRL too but i won't doxx their names so i'm using fake ones). addison is, well, slavic like her, blonde, preppy, wears cute clothing and popular.

at first, addison seemed like a ray of sunshine and a very kind, cheerful girl, but she HATED ME, constantly making threats to me because i acted weird and acting in an aggressive or sarcastic tone, depending on the day, and even asked me if we were like dating or something because i'm a lesbian (she's a homophobic straight girl, or at least she says so)

allison is bi or used to be, as she "dated" a boy in 6th grade and seemed to like boys and then dated a girl named "lia", my ex-crush, who asked her out in seventh grade. well, allison became super in denial about her bisexuality as a very religious person with internalized homophobia, so she started hanging out with really christian, popular people i guess.

whenever i ask her something like "we should talk more, do you use [___] social media?" she says "no, sorry, i don't". when i ask how school's going or how her day is, she just says "good" or "it's ok". and doesn't even follow it up like by saying "how about you?" so it makes me wonder if she just doesn't know what to say and is shy like she has been all these years, or if she just doesn't freaking like me. i don't know, i miss social cues all the time. she used to compliment and flirt with me and say we should get married and live together, but now she's completely changed.