Casual Conversation

I'm currently wearing adidas Men's Turnaround low tops.

I'm going to be 35 and nothing changes my life has been a boring slow downward spiral. Sometimes I welcome death to take me but unless it's a heart attack I don't see that happening anytime soon. And I don't feel like ending myself.

Still sexless, loveless with literary no friends and with a temp job that I dislike. I just drift in this world, I guess I could be worse, living under a bridge, but I still live with my mother and uncle, sleeping in a minuscule room shared with my uncle (he's another "loser" like me in his late 40s non married living with his sister, my mom). I'm sure y'all heard this before, life is unfair, and it's true, and I'm sure some other people out there are doing worse than me and are better "fighters" in life. But I'm not them, I'll never be them, it's not in me being that type of person.

Btw I'm not saying this just to get a response from you and I don't need a "happy birthday" reply... If anything that would piss me off more due being insincere, you are not my family and you don't care about me in the slightest (and rightfully so). But I just needed to say this to ease my pain.

Now maybe you can understand why I welcome the reaper, maybe you can tell me if you're in a similar situation.

I was born to love. I'm this soft and gentle introverted guy with a bottomless well of tenderness and affection. It is, without exaggeration, the greatest blessing I have ever received.

I vehemently ADORE the idea of making a special someone so happy and being so devoted to her happiness and well-being. I get so giddy just thinking about it! I'm this big bundle of joy and affection inside who wants to shower someone with hugs and kisses and words of admiration. And yet, I have a tender, steady energy to me that will dole out that affection at a calm and measured pace.

That's one of the things I love the most about this personality. I have this sweet, quiet, and unassuming presence, but under the surface is an enormous wellspring of love and care brewing of inside of me that I just HAVE to let out. My inner geek would meticulously observe and study my partner's wants and needs, her likes and dislikes, and the things that make her feel loved and cared for. And then, I would translate my theories into sweet, sweet praxis.

And when any kind of affection is shown back to me, I will completely MELT. There is no facade of masculine stoicism here. If my partner touches me, I'm going to turn into jelly. Everything she does will have me on the floor, incoherently blubbering about how much I love and appreciate her. I live for utter trust and surrender to someone who loves and cares about me, and my partner will surely know it.

I'd love a relationship where we treat each other as equals, where we listen to one another and make decisions together as a team. A relationship filled with mutual love and devotion where we can take turns lavishly melting each other with affection sounds like heaven.

I'm so endlessly glad that I didn't end up as some misogynistic jerkwad who treats his partner like dirt and orders her around all day, because my father was exactly that. But I shouldn't pat myself on the back too much, because I can always improve and I will always have blind spots. I need to be attentive to my partner's needs, communicate effectively with her, and honestly reflect on what effects my actions had. Cultivating a loving relationship is an ongoing process, not a one-and-done deal. It takes work and commitment, and that is an endeavor that I wish to dedicate myself to.

I've never actually been in a relationship (I'm only 22), but I want to actively grow and nurture a healthy mindset now. I'm an idealist at heart, but I know that ideals are goals to work towards, not promises to expect. In order to for a big, beautiful flower to bloom, you have to start from a seed and care for it over time. You can't just expect perfection to appear on the first day. The mindset I wish to cultivate is the knowledge and the heart required to become a gardener of love, to carefully attend to those delicate flower buds every step of the way so that they may blossom into big, beautiful roses.

But just knowing that I hold the power inside to create something so heavenly and fulfilling for someone else in spite of the world's hardship and strife... it's hard to describe to beautiful that is to me. And it's an incredible honor to have the privilege of creating anything even approximating that. I feel a moral duty to take good care of this part of myself and use it to create the most loving and supportive relationship that I can.

Whenever I indulge in my fantasies of a loving, nurturing relationship, I feel waves of euphoric warmth wash over me. It feels so cozy and comforting, like being wrapped in a warm blanket or a gentle hug. It's the ultimate life hack; I can trigger a whole deluge of positive emotions for free, without needing separately packaged, inferior versions to be sold to me piecemeal. It feels uniquely soul-mending, like something making me whole again, restoring a sense of safety and security that I seemed to have lost long ago.

It has made me so much happier throughout the day. I find myself wanting to be so openly warm and caring to other people. Negative things just don't impact me as much. Seeing who I am in these fantasies makes me want to bring that part of my personality out more, to say kind things where I may not have said anything before.

My dream isn't to become rich. It isn't to become famous, to become an astronaut, or to climb Mount Everest. My dream is to become the sweetest, cuddliest, most sensitive lovebug of a boyfriend I can possibly be, and make someone else so incredibly happy.

And I am so, so happy that I have the chance to embody that person.

Hey! I finished my nursing school about 12 years ago and worked on a ICU for about two years after nursing school as a RN.

Moved to a different country and now I am working at a facility for disabled people.

I work only nightshift and we have to be awake all night in case emergency but honestly, I never had an emergency. My clients sleep all night.

My base income is very high and in addition I get nightshift bonus, so I am getting a lot of money that isn't taxed at the end of the month either because in this country shift differential (night, sundays, holidays) isn't taxed.

I don't know I am doing this since two years and if I'd lay down on a couch no one would ever know.

Should I keep going or say something? My Nightshift coworkers don't do anything either but they just keep quiet. And if I am honest I think the dayshift doesn't do a lot either. Our clients really dont need a lot of assist... it's kind of weird getting paid for this job.

What do you think about this approach to social networks? I think she is right in this, for me the social networks don't make much sense any more as it doesn't lead to any real interaction, which was the purpose of having online connections in first place.

https://caoilainn.substack.com/p/just-delete-them

I'm 23 and literally haven't done any real theater. Used to be in ensembles during summer camp bc i didn't gaf at the time but im considering it as an adult now. there are two auditions in my town next week for different groups and I think I wanna try but I'm super nervous. I need to prepare a monologue for one of them?

I currently don't have much time to put into hobbies, but I did some gardening/landscaping during a break in the rain last weekend. Felt great to get out and move around. Garden finally is put to bed for the winter (or what's left of it).

Been through this before, so I know it gets better eventually, but what do you folks generally do to optimize beddy-bye time? To the insomniacs, what are some things you do in the wee hours/early morning for a relaxing start to your day?

This morning's choice is checking out the music of Casiopea - saw them mentioned in a meme here recently, then later on saw one of my favourite gig spaces has a great local fusion jazz band doing a show covering them at the end of the month. Very chill, feels like menu music of a mid-90s Japanese 3D game in a very good way, lol. Funny how these things happen sometimes, kinda like seeing the car model you just bought everywhere on the road shortly after purchase.

I remember when I was young I could just turn on the TV, pick any channel, and I would watch a properly timed ball drop in New York.

Now? It took ages to find a new years countdown on youtube. Couldn't find a decent option and eventually I settled on a tower in Texas that was in the central time zone.

Is there a good ball drop replacement for people who don't own a TV and live purely online? It doesn't need to be fancy, just count down without me having to synchronize watches -_-

I wish I never told anyone I worked or studied tech. Especially older family and friends, because their requests for help are relentless.

A lot of friends are chill with it, and I don't mind doing a little bit of help, but sometimes people are who are OFFENDED when you don't want to help. In the same way a contractor friend won't remodel your home for free, I am not going to fix every single issue you have with your computer for free. I'm happy to give advice, but i'm not going to work for hours without pay to fix everything.

I don't have a good outlook on psychology as a field. It's all influenced by people for leverage and different countries can't even agree on what qualifies as what (e.g. the definition for social anxiety in one country could be considered the definition for agoraphobia in another). But I think watching Simon Whistler give a very debunked rundown on psychology ten years into his career was the last straw for me this week. Misrepresenting psychology has very annoying implications and it gets tiring to see it done over and over.

To use one example, he mentions the former Axis Power officers in WWII saying they were "just following orders", which led to the highly rigged Stanford Prison Experiment, which has never been able to be replicated with the same results. Why? They rigged it, some say to support those officers. Here is an instance where history clashes with psychology, because near the end of WWII, German officers started recruiting and enslaving the Jews they were capturing to do the very dirty work they previously inflicted on them. Did these poor souls succumb to the wickedness like the Stanford Prison Experiment and the officers who inspired it would suggest in court? No, they were traumatized and went insane, because this was not in their nature.

Modern psychology is littered with these false rules and expectations. I'm sure many of you have heard a number of them. Maybe you remember the Milgram Experiment or Stockholm Syndrome for example. So let's play a game. Look back into your life. Think of all the things you've experienced and how it all played out. Out of all these experiences, which ones can you talk about that you can point to and say "if conventional psychology was right, this event in my life would've never happened how it did?

Example: There is a rule in the field of psychology called the Prisoner's Dilemma. It says that if you question two people a certain way, they will be incentivized to spill beans and betray each other. Me and a friend were once arrested because he got into a fight because someone cheated on his sister and I sped him away. The officers tried inflicting the Prisoner's Dilemma on us, but we're both open books, to the point where we knew the whole point was we were willing to face whatever comes. The cops had nothing. They let us free.

So saw in costco packages of "hand pulled rotisery chicken" selling for $5.5/lb ($16 per package). I guess chickens that don't sell they "disaasemble" and package it. Got me curious, Is it worth paying for hand pulled? how much meat is in a full chicken and average cost per lb?

So got one chicken, pulled myself, remove bones, skin and anything not pure meat..took about 5 minutes ...and weighted. Total Weight was 2.1 lb .. About $5 bucks/chicken.. so $2.5/lb. The labor more than doubles the price. Do you want to pay >2x per pound for pre pulled?

Note: This is completely anecdotal and not a realistic measurement of married women as a whole. This can also merit as a shitpost.

Over the past week (New Year's parties, coffee shops, passing by), if a woman said she played video games, I asked what game are they playing right now.

These were the games

• Black Ops
• Bioshock Infinite
• Halo Infinite
• Fallout 4
• Marvel Rivals

Do whatever you want with that information.

Feel free to have a look at

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If you sit down next to a cat, and throw your arm over the back of the sofa while someone reaches over from behind and starts to pet the cat, and then after a little bit you stand up and leave while the phantom arm is still petting the cat, the cat understands that something really freaky is happening, gets scared, and runs away.

I would have thought they'd be happy that whatever weird thing is happening is petting them, but apparently not. An arm with no human is alarming and bad. I think it's cool that their mental model is that similar to ours.

Name an animal (or several) you like and mention why you like it. No wrong answers!