I can relate to so much of what you're saying!
If you're having issues remembering, especially the vastness of tangential thoughts and references needed to do the good stuff you're doing - I strongly suggest writing things down in a diary.
I'm a programmer and keep everything in text files in folders, and I use VSCode to edit and navigate it. It's saved to version control so I never lose anything. I've got work logs and notes going back decades. Some people prefer physical diaries ofc.
I mean, if only gay guys are offering... why be picky? ;p
Girls have done things to me when I was in the mood and didn't say no...
I'm 100% gay and find the V gross, but sometimes you have a spare $20 and just want that massage to end happily before going back to the office...